I have shared custody with my ex-husband. So that means he should take the kids every second weekend but the reality is that its more like time share custody. He picks a weekend/s and sees them then.

While it isnt regular contact, it does still mean the kids have two homes. They have two rooms. What they dont have though is two sets of toys or two sets of clothes. Purely because their father insists on sending the stuff he buys them home with them.

It is a bit of a logistical nightmare. Their dad is in Joburg and I am in Pretoria. So if school shoes have been forgotten I can not pop over and fetch them. It is easier to actually just buy new ones.

What I do now is keep the clothes he has bought them and send those with them when they do go. So that if they do forget them, then its not part of the items we use daily. Now that Cameron is in school and has an overpriced uniform, its an added concern. If a jersey gets left behind, he cant wear another one he needs that one. I now remind him constantly to remember to put his uniform in his bag when he gets changed at his dads house. We have been lucky so far with this.

Clothes arent the only problem with two homes. The toys are another issue. Kids get attached to a certain toy. It changes weekly/daily but if it is that toy that day when nothing else matters. If that toy gets forgotten then it is great drama. In the beginning they would pack toys to take with but I have now managed to get them to stop doing that.

When Kiara was still on the bottle I made the mistake of sending her bottle with her. It was THE bottle and it did not come back. I ended up driving from Emergency chemist to Emergency chemist trying to find a bottle my daughter would take. Dealing with a tired, unsettled child on a Sunday evening is not such fun.

We have been doing the timeshare custody for three years now and while we have managed to work out system that seems to be working, it can be a challenge. Fortunately kids are pretty adaptable and have also figured out a way of dealing with the fact that they have two homes.