by Marc Suttner, the winner of our competition

What do teen pageants say?

That if you’re pretty, you’re winner!

If you’re skinny, you’re a winner!

If you’re cute, you’re a winner!

If you can pout your lips and wiggle your bum, you’re a winner!

If your teeth are white and straight and true, you’re a winner!

If you got legs like a racehorse, you’re a winner!

And, if you’re hungry to win, win, win…then you’re a winner!

But, if you are not pretty, not cute, not skinny, not all these things

What are you?

A loser, stupid!