Archive for September, 2009

by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo.  She works for a  non-profit organisation.  Is a procrastinator. Loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and Scrabble.  Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.

A few months ago I decided we needed a break, not a long weekend but a proper break away. Specifically a week in the Drakensberg.

After doing some research and costing we settled on The Nest Hotel in the central berg. The Nest is one of the few hotels left that includes all three meals and two teas a day. It is a quaint, old fashioned place. The rooms are neat and cozy and the food is simple and tasty.

Traveling with an active toddler was easier than I thought it would be. He slept for the first part of the journey and entertained himself well enough when he was awake. By the time we got to Harrismith he was getting restless and we were hungry so we stopped at the Engen 1Stop. There is a wonderful play area as well as ducks, geese, ostrich and goats for the kids to look at. On seeing the ostrich for the first time, Aaron looked up and exclaimed “duck”! He then fell into a fit of giggles, the ostrich ignored him.

Unfortunately Aaron was the only child at the resort but he made plenty of friends with the staff and other guests, giving high fives and hugs wherever he went.

The first day we took Aaron to a little place up the road where they advertised pony rides, two very cute miniature ponies were grazing in a field, so we bought a ticket, when theybrought out the ’pony’ it wasn’t one of the little ones and I almost backed out but Aaron was quite enchanted and he went on a small ride around with dad walking next to him.

The next day we decided that Aaron would enjoy going to uShaka Marine World in Durban, two and a bit hours away, because we do crazy things like that. He loved it! Turtles and sharks and rays all fascinated him and it was worth the traveling and the humid Durban air.

The last few days were filled with drives around the area and visits to various resort as well as two visits to our favourite bakery, Valley Bakery.

This little gem is situated at the edge of a working farm and all the baked goods are freshly made on site, they have a lovely coffee garden and a great play area for kids.

I love the mountains, they are so relaxing and calming. But the best part of our week away was getting to spend five uninterrupted days together, just the three of us.

by Reggie Nel, father, husband, wannabe-guitar player for myself, pastor, sports fan (Stormers/WP and the Box) and of course, highly opinionate, blogging at  Reggie-I write what I like

I recently, on the spur of the moment, was commanded by my youngest to go to school and listen to the guy speaking on drug-abuse. Well, actually my wife bought a ticket and couldn’t go. So, I had to go and honestly speaking, it was one of those ‘had-to-go’ ones, because ‘the ticket was bought’, etc. It turned out to be quite an informative (if not sobering and thought-provoking) evening with other parents, who probably were there, also because they well…. ‘had to go’.

The speaker walked, like an evangelist, up and down on the stage, had a cap drawn deep into his eyes, and opened with something like… ‘I am an addict and I am currently committing a criminal offence’. It soon dawned on all of us that he had a cigarette in his hand. Later, he dramatically, (maybe not like the evangelist) lit it and took few puffs, illustrating a little story of how he got started. This was but one of the many funny, yet deeply moving stories he shared with us. For most of us, it could have been just another moralistic diatribe making us, as parents feel guilty again.. Fortunately, (*sigh*)I don’t smoke and do those kinds of stuff, but the story of Steve went deeper.

Steven, having worked in schools for many years, was telling us that our children are exposed to drugs on a daily basis and that, up to 80% of high school kids here in Johannesburg are on one or the other kind of drug. He then continued to share anecdotes of how children in ‘our’ primary school, in his morning session, were able to easily debate on which booze was the best; they knew the labels, the tastes and felt it cool to be into these. For him the fundamental problem was that we as parents deny these realities. For us, it is always those kids, that family and never our very own. We would conveniently ‘other-fy’ the drug addict and go on with business as usual. I could however see, over the crowd of parents, many heads going, ‘wow’, ‘eish’, etc.

Here, we were confronted with a reality that we thought was only possible in the media and Hollywood (Beverley Hills 90210, to be exact), or ‘on the other side’.

I work also in Riverlea, where on an annual basis, in our church community I am privileged to have a little group of 6-7 teenagers (15-17 years) in a little ‘bible class.’ Most of the time, in the face of the ire of parents and the church board, we stray too far from talking about the ten commandments and the teachings of the church, to simply talk about sex, drugs and hip-hop or (these days ‘house’). They like to talk and I like to listen. They are clear: their schools are infested with ‘corruption’ (that’s the words they use). Corruption is amongst others, where, on their school yards, now, drugs of all shapes and sizes, are available. Whether it be ‘sugars’ , coke, weed, ‘rocks’, ‘gafief’… whateva, you want it, you can have it. Teachers, in their view, are impotent to deal with this, the police useless, because, according to them they are as corrupt as the ‘merchands’. These young people tell me that they are clean, but it’s a tough-tough world to go out of your house and attend school. The stuff that Steve, is sharing is for real!

I wondered, what lies at the heart of this? Why would young people, want to consciously become ‘throw-away people’? Why would they want to collectively become the prey of highly efficient, highly connected criminal syndicates, bend on selling young bodies at the highest bidder. This, of course is an age-old question. To present drug abuse, and young people, today, as wild, urban folk devils will not adequately deal with the deeper roots of this collective suicide. It simply denies the fact that there might be deeper structural roots, i.e. community and cultural patterns that drive them towards depression, a loss of vision, but also a loss of internal reference points, to chart their way. I think that the current surge of consumerism, where one’s identity is formed by the trappings of wealth, remain one of the key drivers of a loss of community and a morphing of our identities from communally (family) based towards consumer based. This is not an easy matter. In fact, having said this, I would concede that the encroachment of the current world system on families, on our children is much more pervasive and powerful then we think. Perhaps its more powerful than what parents or church communities currently can handle. Its not simply a medical condition to be sorted out by an institution… the roots go deeper in the kind of system where, even church communities, or schools, have become efficient corporations, at the expense of deep community. We are faced with a culture, which prizes boozing and where advertising campaigns have deadened our sensitivities to softer (legal)drugs, in the pursuit of profits, our ultimate human achievement. For those that fell through the cracks, who simply did not fit these categories, or who simply failed to make the system work, the only solution is to become the consumer… to doze off and eventually are consumed by this system.

This talk by Steven was sobering. It lead, at least this parent, to  think again, to hope and pray again that his teenagers might not fall prey. It challenged me again to look deeper into our lifestyles and what we hold dear. Perhaps, we all need had-to go experiences, forced upon us, by our children, to challenge us, even as parents, to listen and to be changed.

We are looking for the best comment on Teenage beauty pageants and need your help to choose. Please write the name of your favourite author in the comments window below and stand a chance of winning an African Cream music CD.

Benazir Goolam

Teen beaty pageants are a great opportunity for young girls to exhibit their self confidence, comunicational skills and of course beauty. It may also be a way of learning how to compete and further their career as young models. Like all competitions however it has it’s negatives. It may have an adverse effect on a young girls confidence and enthusiasm for modelling as well as other pressures in relation to physical appearance.In conclusion I think that there is no harm in entering these competitions If your dream is to be an icon of beauty and help the less fortunate.

Jennie Smith

I have 2 children, one really outgoing and game for everything and one really withdrawn and born with a mild disability. I see daily the effect that competitions etc has on the younger one who cannot take part in much. It makes him withdraw more and more. He would also not get anywhere, even though he is soooo cute, he could be disqualified …

Susan Bellion

I think it takes a lot of courage to get up there in front of a crowd, it does wonders for a childs confidence. A great life lesson is learning that it is not always about winning but doing your best and having fun. As long as it is not taken too seriously then I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Marc Suttner What do teen pageants say?

That if you’re pretty, you’re winner!

If you’re skinny, you’re a winner!

If you’re cute, you’re a winner!

If you can pout your lips and wiggle your bum, you’re a winner!

If your teeth are white and straight and true, you’re a winner!

If you got legs like a racehorse, you’re a winner!

And, if you’re hungry to win, win, win…then you’re a winner!

But, if you are not pretty, not cute, not skinny, not all these things

What are you?

A loser, stupid!

Gina Hoffmann Jacobson

I dont agree with teen pageants. I think the pressure is too much. These young girls have too many regular teenage pressures to deal with, they have school, extra murals, boys (maybe), why add more.

Shakti Maharaj

There are two ways of looking at it and both ways are extreme. Firstly it can bring about a negative impact on a child bringing self esteems down when looking at teen beauty pageants. They start comparing themselves to others and not focusing the good that they have. It can bring a teen so down as they then turn to eating disorders as the want to fit in with the others and be (so called) ‘pretty’ to. The other way of looking at teen beauty pageants as they are a great way of exposing young girls to public speaking and enchance there confidence in themselves which later would lead to a professional career. When I say ‘professional career’ I dont only mean modelling, I mean ehancing confidence skills, social skills, leadership skills and life skills that will assist in ANY career:)

Raaheel Tayob

I believe that people shouldn’t be defined by the way they look. Beauty pageants tend to focus on the superficial aspect of life and not the most important thing, which is character. I think people put too much emphasis on something that’ll eventually disappear.

Hoosein West

I have a daughter that loves to model and it takes great courage to get up on a stage infront of a crowd and at a young age. Kids that are not afraid to express and show their beauty I salute them. It takes guts to walk and smile and talk to the crowd but hey they do it. I also think that it teaches them to set goal and reaching them also they have more self confidence and they learn that it is about socialising and communicating.

I think it is great!

Maggie Fikkert

Positives and negatives can be associated with teen pageants. One could argue that these pageants place even more pressure on a young child, still trying to come to terms with the emotional turmoil of puberty, which may lead to various disorders, including eating disorders. It could even result in decreased confidence, masked by artificial augmentations later throughout their lives. There is a descriptive Afrikaans saying “Vroeg ryp, vroeg vrot”. Conversely, there are countless positive aspects associated with teen pageants, that include invaluable lessons and skills learned and acquired throughout the process. The skills include public speaking, class and etiquette, persistence and confidence that can all be leveraged right through their future careers. In additional to this, most of these pageants are associated with donations and acts of humanity and care for the disadvantaged and less privileged, which typifies the contrast of these extremes; the yin and yang of teen pageants

By Janine Giannini, Mother of 2 daughters, wife, professional photographer and owner of Moments and Memories photographic studio

With Spring here and Summer round the corner and holidays in a few months I am sure we will all have our camera’s out and taking advantage of excellent moments to take pictures of our kiddies and families. Below are a few tips to keep in mind to make your shots even better. There is nothing more disappointing than your photos not coming out the way you would have liked or that picture of the perfect moment is too dark to see anything. Have a look the tips below to help you capture those moments with a perfect picture…

1) Although some moments happen so fast and the aim is just to capture the shot try to photograph against a background that isn’t too busy to make sure that your little one is the focus in the photograph instead of too many busy distracting things behind them

2) When outside always stand with the sun behind you when taking the picture

3) Where possible early morning sun and late afternoon sun always gives better results. Midday sun often leaves areas in the photograph that are over exposed and harsh as well as big dark shadows.

4) Where possible, even inside (with sun light through a window) try use natural sun light instead of a flash…natural sun light it is always more flattering than a flash

5) If the person you are taking a picture of is in the shade, try make sure you are also standing in the shade, otherwise you have a good chance of your picture being very dark. The same applies the other way round… if you are taking a picture of someone standing in full sun make sure you are also standing in the sun otherwise your picture will be too light. If your camera is on automatic it takes the picture according to the light you are standing in NOT the light your subject is in

6) Always set your camera to the highest quality of photograph, you may have less space on your memory stick but your photograph prints will be of a much better quality.

7) Don’t be shy to try take photographs from new and different angles, you will be surprised at the interesting and fun photographs you can take by trying some new angles. Try taking photographs from above and below your subject as well ….

Have you ever wondered why some of your photos seem to come out a blueish, orange or purple colour? If so it may be because you have not set your camera to the right type of light you are standing in. Remember that before you take photos use the settings on your camera with the little sun, the cloud, the house in the shade, the light bulb etc… these settings will help you take photos that are the closest natural colour as possible according to the light you are in. If you are in very cloudy conditions set your camera to the cloud, if your  are standing in full bright sun, use the little sun setting… and so on…

9) Have fun, take a lot of photos and don’t be afraid to experiment …. The more photos you take and the better you know how your camera works the better your photos will be….

by Laura-kim, single mom, recently divorced with 2 kids and the author of the blog Harrased mom

As a single mom, buying expensive birthday presents is not an option and with the price of toys today, it actually becomes a little tricky.

All you can find is Ben 10, Spiderman, Bratz and Barbie and even if I did have the money I am not sure I could justify spending R250 on Ben 10 accessory or a Bratz.

So what do you do? Well I walk around Toys R Us for hours – literally. Trying to find something that is affordable but nice. I have now taken to buying books because I can justify spending even R150 on a book. The value the child gets out of it lasts a lot longer than the toy he will loose interest in. And if there are siblings they often get value out of it too

But there are some children who just don’t want books. So you have to get a toy of some sort.

On Saturday we had a party for a little boy in my daughter’s class. I had left the gift buying to the last minute so it had to be a toy. Eventually after wondering around Toys R Us for 30 min I smsed his mom for ideas. She came back with “spiders, snakes, dinosaurs and sharks”

I then found a bag of those plastic dinosaurs and one of snakes (and another alien thing). The two bags of toys were R40. And let me tell you they were a hit. He opened them up and took them to the Spur playground and him and his friends spent ages playing with the dinosaurs. WINNER!

I have bought these plastic animals for a few kids and when we visit I see them still being played with. My kids have some and they love them. Even Cameron, at 7, still can be found fighting dinosaurs or army men

Sometimes it is not what the item costs that is important and there are times where Ben 10 does come second!

by Sally Cameron, midwife, mother of 2 and co-owner of www.earthbabies.co.za . I am a passionate, creative, trying to be Green unschooling single mom. . It’s a journey.

Nature is waking up from her winter snooze and I must admit we here in South Africa are very very lucky when it comes to winter. Just having spent 2 years in the UK and enduring months and months of grey, it was a welcome change to be able to see the sun during winter even when it was cold. There is just something about a blue sky that lifts one’s mood.

As the weather gets warmer and the plants move into their growing cycles again, it is the perfect time for us to get outside with our kids. One of the very best ways to teach children a love of nature and to get them involved in the green and eco vibe, is to get them planting.

Helping kids understand the connection between the food they eat and the growing process is so important; it naturally leads to discussions about the environment and teachable moments where kids are receptive to learning as their natural curiosity is sparked.

Discussions about how plants grow, climate, weather, saving and using water wisely, organic gardening and the harm of pesticides, soil and making compose and so much more can all come out of helping kids plant and care for and watch their food grow.

We need to trust that kids are able to understand and absorb so much more than we usually give them credit for. My daughter and I have recently been discussing photosynthesis.  She is 4 and does not understand the whole complex process but she grasps enough to get the basic idea. As children ask questions be ready to answer them and don’t worry about them being too young to understand, if they are asking and you explain it in age appropriate language there is nothing that they can’t learn. If they ask something you don’t know Google it together or go to the library and get books on plants and growing food.

I suggest growing organic food rather than just flowers as it gives them a sense of responsibility and is often the way to get previously reluctant kids to eat fruit and vegetables that they would not touch before. There is a pride in what they have grown themselves.

I live in a small garden flat with my 2 kids, and a very little garden,  so one does not need a lot of space to start growing. We do all our veggie and herb gardening in pots in and around the house. Each kid has their own watering can and they help to care for what we grow.

At Earth Babies we have joined the planting season campaign on the 22 September. “Planting Season is a collective campaign by Majestic Interactive and JasonsGarden.com with a shared mission: to facilitate a collective reconnection between people and the earth by getting 1,000,000 people to start growing their own food. 22ndSeptember 2009 has been named the first Planting Day and thousands of people all over South Africa will join remotely to all plant on this day.” Join here – http://www.jasonsgarden.com/planting_season.php

Happy Planting!

By Jana Kotze, mom or Luke & Sienna,  digital marketer, entrepeneur-at-heart

As the mom of 4 year old Luke, I find myself having to make one of the most important decisions yet.  As a mom, I want to find the right school for my son.  This is where he will make friends, learn about life, have fun and interact with kids from all walks of life. Now that I have to start the journey, where do I begin?  I have done research about a lot of schools online, but none of them give a clear indication of what it is really like.

Not many of our friends have kids older than 5 and every parent you talk to has a different opinion.  I find it funny that even friends without kids have strong opinions about the different schools.

Do you choose a private school or are government schools ok?  My concern with government schools are the class sizes.

Can anyone offer some advice?  We are based in Northcliff.