Archive for October, 2009

by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo.  She works for a  non-profit organisation, is a procrastinator, loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and scrabble.  Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.

“Mine!”  This is a word I hear over and over from my 2 year old.  He takes my iPod and declares “Mine!”, the TV remote, his toys, my shoes, anything is fair game.

Usually I say, “No, that is Mama’s and I am sharing it with Aaron.”  Most of the time he just ignores me.  I think the key here is reiterating that the object belongs to me or Daddy and that we are sharing.  I also ask him if he will share the things that are genuinely his with me.  Most of the time he does.

He is also very good about sharing with other kids especially when you ask him to share.  He is so caring too and will offer his favourite lovey if he sees another child crying.

A trick I find that works well is finding a game for the kids to play together, tea party, hide and seek, kick the ball are all games that he loves playing with other kids.

Of course if you have two of something its even better.  My mom got Aaron a set of cheap, small water pistols, there were 5 in the pack for about R25, fill them up and let the kids loose in the garden.  The same goes for buckets and spades, have lots of each and let the kids build castles in the sandpit.

If a fight breaks out over whose toy belongs to who, and if I have to get involved, I always make sure that Aaron gives the other child a kiss and a hug after its been sorted out.  Sometimes he even does so without prompting.

How do you encourage your kids to share?

by Sally Cameron, midwife, mother of 2 and co-owner of www.earthbabies.co.za . I am  passionate, creative, trying to be Green unschooling single mom.  It’s a journey.

“We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas..”

Yes it is that time of year again. Shops are starting to put up their decorations and soon the air will be filled with Christmas carols, the smell of mince pies and excitement. Kids will be writing their lists for Father Christmas and as parents we hope our saving have enough to make all their dream come true.

One of the most valuable lessons we as parents can teach our kids at this time is to be mindful of those who are not as fortunate as they are. There are so many opportunities to help others and make their Christmas just that little bit brighter. Teaching our kids the joy of giving is a bigger and great gift than anything they will open under the tree this year.

Some idea to help you and your kids touch other people’s lives this Christmas:

In preparation for Christmas and the influx of new toys, clothes and books why not spend time with your kids sorting out the stuff they have and what they can give away to make room for the new things they will get. It is a great time of year to do this as there are so many charities that have Christmas fund raising fete’s that need toys and books to sell. Alternatively crèche’s or nursery schools in less privilege areas also always need more toys and things for the kids there. For a list of charities asking for all sorts of donations, visit to help-babies/children page on Jozikids.

Laura-Kim, the amazing woman behind the Female2Female blog for women is organizing a children’s party for the kids at the Othandweni Children’s Home. I know that she still needs a few more gifts. The details are here otherwise take the plunge and organise a similar type party at a children’s home near you. Facebook and other social networking sites can be a great way to get the word out about these sorts of events.

Elderly people are often forgotten at this time, especially those without family close by. Contact your local old age home and ask if there is someone your family can ‘adopt’ for the festive season. This might mean opening your home on Christmas day or just making home made cards and gifts for an elderly person and brightening their lives a few weeks before Christmas. Our society often separates the young and the old and we forget how much our kids can learn from the older generation.

These are only a few ideas and I am sure there are many local charities in your areas that have specific things on over Christmas that you can ask to be involved in. I think for it to be meaningful to children you need to involve them as much as possible. Get them to make cards or choose toys or make something special. Teaching them the gift of giving is something that will enrich their lives and the live of others for years to come.

by Madeleine Kriegler, a working mom of two and a keen traveller who blogs about anything that takes her fancy on her blog, Life Love and everything else .

We spent the weekend in Chrissiesmeer.It is a small little town about 2 and a half hours drive from Joburg, situated in Mpumulanga. Just before Belfast you turn off to Carolina, follow the road and just when the road meets the N17 to Swaziland -there is Chrissiesmeer.

I’ve read several articles about Chrissiesmeer the past year and was quite keen to explore it. The area is known for it’s fresh water lakes and is otherwise referred to as the “Lakes district” of South Africa.

What a beautiful place! The rolling green hills and lakes combine to make you feel like you have stepped into the magical Shire of the likes of Frodo and gang.

We stayed at a guest farm called Florence Guest Farm. It is a beautiful farm with lovely chalets to stay in. The chalets are fully equipped, with fireplaces inside. Much to the kids delight. Ooh and nice big baths. Much to the parents delight.lol

One of the attractions of the area is the wide variety of frogs. In fact we organized a frog tour for Saturday night as the frogs come out at night. But the heavens opened on Saturday late afternoon. In a big way. Which proved to be quite fortunate, because the frogs come to you.

I cant remember how many platanna’s we had to rescue out of the lounge that night. And then the four of us ran around on the lawn with umbrella’s and torches, catching frogs, running inside the house to identify them and releasing them again. To say that it was fun is an understatement. We hugely enjoyed this!!

If frogs are not your thing, there are   Bushman paintings just accross the road from where we stayed. We took a walk down there the following morning and were quickly able to spot the art.

A little bit further down the road is Chrissiesmeer-the largest freshwater lake in South Africa. You can go canoe on it if you want.

Dullstroom is about 50 km’s away – so we drove down there for Sunday lunch and then headed back home. There is lots more to see and do there and we will definitely return for another visit.

by Kerry Haggard, mother, writer, editor, social media voyeur, who works in communications for a living.

Not just because of articles like this, ( War on Science), I’m quite into the whole vaccination deal – anything that can keep my sons alive and prevent them suffering the symptoms and after- effects of a potentially damaging or fatal illness is a good thing, I reckon.  We didn’t get around to the chicken pox shot – and they’ve both had it already, but with the stories of fatalities caused by a measles outbreak in Gauteng, the time had come to have the littlest Haggard have his MMR shot.  His older brother had it a year ago.

I’m no medical expert, but I do know that the world would be a much more miserable place if we still had polio and smallpox. I know that measles can cause permanent damage, as can mumps. I know that rubella can cause severe deformities in babies. And while I do know that I’m no medical expert, I also know that I’ve done enough reading (thank you God, for the Internet) to be comfortable that vaccinations don’t cause autism. That’s a whole different issue entirely.

I’ve taken both boys to Elizabeth Beavon at the Link Pharmacy in The Colony in Craighhall since they were babies. She did ante-natal classes with me, and is the most awesome lady – clued up, practical, and an all round nice person – the kind of person you would want to have sticking needles into your child, if there was no choice about the needle part, really.

As a mom, you feel pretty shocking, taking your lamb to the proverbial slaughter – even though you know he’s going to come out with a better chance of staying alive than if you didn’t take him. Baring that little chubby leg, and holding those precious arms tight so that he doesn’t hit the needle away is one of the most difficult things you have to do as a mom. But the pain is brief, the tears pass quickly, and before long, he’s forgotten that anything happened, and is radiating that brilliant smile at anyone who looks at him again.

I know that debates around vaccination are lengthy, heated and emotional. I also know that without them, the odds of my children contracting dangerous diseases are significantly higher. It’s a matter of weighing up the odds, really.  This is not the first time that my son has had to endure something unpleasant that will help him in the long run, and it won’t be the last. But at least I was there to love him, hold him, and kiss the tears away, reassuring him that the bad thing would soon be over. As a mom, it’s the least I could do.

by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo.  She works for a  non-profit organisation, is a procrastinator, loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and scrabble.  Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.

T-A-N-T-R-U-M  : Those seven letters are enough to make me drink liquor at 8 in the morning…

I know that most tantrums are caused by frustration, an inability to communicate effectively or hunger and tiredness and that any change to a routine can set one off. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

After a very short midday nap yesterday and an afternoon in the sun playing with other kids, Aaron* threw the BIGGEST tantrum last night. It lasted just over 2 hours and nothing we did helped.

We started by putting him in his cot in his room with the door open and lights on, after about 20 minutes of screaming he started making himself gag and vomit… at that point we removed him from his room as we just didn’t feel like cleaning up a vomitty mess. Paul then tried hugging him tight which is supposed to be calming but only landed up being pinched and hit and scratched. The lovely ladies on Twitter said that perhaps a bath would calm him down as water is soothing. Well a cat dropped in that bath would have been more fun, he screamed, kicked and tried to climb out so we gave that effort up and when he wouldn’t let us dress him put him in his cot nekkid, that lasted all of 15 minutes and then we went back to hugging.

During the tantrum he asked for a bottle so we gave him one only to have the bottle chucked across the room only to have him ask for the bottle again only to chuck it… you get the picture. This was repeated with his towel, the TV remote and a stuffed toy.

Eventually he just ran out of steam and calmed right down. He sat quiet as can be on daddy’s lap drinking his bottle and clutching his towel. Poor baby, he was so exhausted he then proceeded to sleep through the night, something we haven’t quite mastered yet.

*He will be 2 at the beginning of November!

Here’s a video of one of his earlier tantrums produced by my husband, Paul Jacobson on Vimeo.

How old are your kids? Do they throw tantrums? How do you deal with tantrums?

By Laura-kim single mom, recently divorced with 2 kids and the author of the blog Harrased mom.

When you are a single mom, dating is a huge challenge. Not only because of the logistics involved in trying to find the time to actually date but because you have to consider the compatibility of the guy and your kids.

It’s inevitable that the two will meet at some point, whether you decide to do it on date 1 or wait a year. The two worlds – they collide and there may just be fireworks.

The decision as to when to introduce a new man to your child is a very personal one that only you, as the mother, can make. I have managed for the last 3 years to keep the two worlds pretty separate. Purely because I actually haven’t really dated anyone long enough for it to become an issue.

The 3 men my kids have met have all been in the last year and all of them were friends, so the chances are at some point my kids would have met them anyway – in fact the one guy they did meet when we were friends.

This weekend, as my kids ran wild in my house, screaming and fighting and demanding while my new “friend” tried very hard to sleep in on a Saturday morning, I realised the integration of the two worlds, while doable is actually rather stressful on all concerned.

He doesn’t have kids and isn’t around kids at all normally. So while I am used to waking up a 5 and making tea and refereeing fights and and and it’s a little overwhelming for someone who isn’t used to it. It’s a lot of noise and a lot of activity.

Which is where the stress comes in. I am aware that it’s a lot. He feels overwhelmed. The kids are a little unsettled having him there. So we are all a little on edge. (Ok in all fairness – I think him and the kids handled it all a whole lot better than I did.)

We all managed to come out of the chaos that was our weekend alive and for right now he seems to be willing to solider forward a little more. But it is a challenge and does add new challenges to a relationship.

My advice – if you are dating with kids – buy wine lots and lots of wine! And then talk, trust yourself and give the man you are with a chance – he may just surprise you.

by Sally Cameron, midwife, mother of 2 and co-owner of www.earthbabies.co.za . I am  passionate, creative, trying to be Green unschooling single mom.  It’s a journey.

In South Africa we have always experienced Halloween rather vicariously though American movies.  I can remember watching as a kid and thinking it all looked so exciting, the costumes, the jack-o’lanterns, trick or treating. It seems like in recent years the trend to celebrate Halloween or rather the commercial version of Halloween is becoming more popular in South Africa.

Halloween has Celtic and Christian influences in it history. The Celtic festival of Samhain, celebrated on Nov 1,  is  the end of the harvest  season, and also often regarded as the “Celtic New Year”.  The ancient Celts believed that on October 31,   the boundaries between our physical worlds and the spirit world became blurred allowing spirits freedom to roam the earth. They believed that the dead could visit them and wreak havoc. The bonfires, jack o’lanterns and scary costumes were to scare away the dead spirits.

As Christianity spread through the region in the 800s there was an attempt to negate the pagan traditions of Sanhain and the church tried to incorporate it into its own annual celebration to honour the dead.  Pope Boniface IV declared November 1 to be All Saints day, All-Hallows in Middle English, the day before was called All-hallows Eve which eventually became Halloween.

I was in the UK for 2 years over Halloween and the kids had great fun dressing up and going around to the different houses in our neighbourhood trick or treating. In South Africa with our high crime rate and big walls and security fences it makes the traditional door to door Halloween trick or treating rather more difficult. If you live on a security estate there are often organised Halloween activities where the kids can walk around. In England the kids would go around to the house that had Jack o’lanterns or other Halloween decorations so that you knew people actually did not mind their door bell being rung all night.

If you do not live in an area where there is an organised Halloween event then you can always have a party at home. Halloween lends itself to such great ideas for biscuits and cakes with spiders web icing, tomato soup for bat bloods, shaped bread dough into witches fingers with red pepper finger nails. Get all the kids to dress up and you can play Halloween games.

Alternatively there are a few activities happening in Joburg

If you know of any other events open to the public on Halloween, please tell us about them and tell us how you’ve celebrated in the past.

by Susette Meffan

Cobweb cupcakes, makes 24

125g butter, softened

½ teaspoon vanilla

¾ cup caster sugar

3 eggs

2 cups self raising flour

¼ cup milk

Pre-heat an oven to 170ºc. Beat all ingredients until pale. ¾ fill cupcake cases with mix and bake for 15minutes, allow to cool.
Mix icing sugar with a little water, remove some of the icing and colour with cocoa or red food colour.
Spread the cupcakes with the white icing. Pipe 4 circles of the coloured icing on top. With a skewer drag from the centre out several lines to form a cobweb pattern.

Skull Sandwiches

Make sandwiches with white bread. Cut out a skull shape. Children can form the eye sockets, the nose and mouth by cutting out the features with a piping nozzle or a small cookie cutter.
For blood sandwiches use a red jam or for a green look use pesto.

Spider biscuits

Mix some icing sugar and colour the icing black or use cocoa for brown.
Spread this icing over digestive biscuits and fasten sticks of liquorice to make legs. Use jelly tots to form the eyes.

Witches’ brew

Pour cream soda into a glass, just before serving add a tot of strawberry cordial, do not stir.

Chocolate apples

Melt milk chocolate in a bowl over just simmering water. Skewer apples with a wooden skewer or straw. Dip the apple in the chocolate and when almost set the kids can decorate with hundreds and thousands or any decor of their choice.

Recipes supplied by Gourmet Gurus. Caterers for children’s parties; lunch boxes; private/corporate functions and dinner parties. Contact Richard (former Woolies chef) on 074 1722312 or gourmetgurus@live.co.za

by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo.  She works for a  non-profit organisation, is a procrastinator, loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and Scrabble.  Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.

In Jewish tradition a child is usually named after a relative that has passed away.  In our case, Aaron was named after my father.

We thought long and hard about the name we would give our son.  Would we give him my fathers actual name or name him using the first letter of his name.  We chose to use the first letter.

Next came the choice of a modern name, a biblical name, an old fashioned name or a ‘made up’ name.  We made lists, we researched meanings, we argued.  Eventually we decided on a biblical name, something simple and timeless.  The decision was made easier once we found out Aaron was a boy.

You would think that was all but you would be wrong…

We were going to give Aaron a second name after Paul’s father and were having difficulty in deciding when my mother-in-law asked us if we wouldn’t mind giving him a second name after her mother, as Paul’s sister had named her daughter after their dad already.  We didn’t mind and started looking at names with a ‘B’.  This proved a little more difficult and we decided to stick with the biblical names.

All in all the process was an interesting one, sometimes painful, mostly fun.  I hope that one day when he is able to comprehend it, he isn’t too upset with the names we chose for him.

How did you name your children?  And if they are old enough, do they like the name?

by Diane Claire Nauschutz

I’m a 37 years old single mother.  I’ve got the most amazing 10 month old daughter BUT am taking strain at the moment and feel all alone in this parenting thing which is even more compounded considering I have no support from family or friends (my family are scattered across the globe or stay far away and my friends do not have babies; I’m a late bloomer) and most of the invites I get are NOT baby friendly.

I would like to join a group (play group or any form of support group) where I can meet and mingle with mothers in a similar situation to me or even just moms who get together to swop ideas, stories and/or advice.

I’m really hoping that I can find something, as I’m desperate and feeling so alone in this parenting thing and would love some support. Anyone out there have any ideas?