T-A-N-T-R-U-M
by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo. She works for a non-profit organisation, is a procrastinator, loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and scrabble. Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.
T-A-N-T-R-U-M : Those seven letters are enough to make me drink liquor at 8 in the morning…
I know that most tantrums are caused by frustration, an inability to communicate effectively or hunger and tiredness and that any change to a routine can set one off. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
After a very short midday nap yesterday and an afternoon in the sun playing with other kids, Aaron* threw the BIGGEST tantrum last night. It lasted just over 2 hours and nothing we did helped.
We started by putting him in his cot in his room with the door open and lights on, after about 20 minutes of screaming he started making himself gag and vomit… at that point we removed him from his room as we just didn’t feel like cleaning up a vomitty mess. Paul then tried hugging him tight which is supposed to be calming but only landed up being pinched and hit and scratched. The lovely ladies on Twitter said that perhaps a bath would calm him down as water is soothing. Well a cat dropped in that bath would have been more fun, he screamed, kicked and tried to climb out so we gave that effort up and when he wouldn’t let us dress him put him in his cot nekkid, that lasted all of 15 minutes and then we went back to hugging.
During the tantrum he asked for a bottle so we gave him one only to have the bottle chucked across the room only to have him ask for the bottle again only to chuck it… you get the picture. This was repeated with his towel, the TV remote and a stuffed toy.
Eventually he just ran out of steam and calmed right down. He sat quiet as can be on daddy’s lap drinking his bottle and clutching his towel. Poor baby, he was so exhausted he then proceeded to sleep through the night, something we haven’t quite mastered yet.
*He will be 2 at the beginning of November!
Here’s a video of one of his earlier tantrums produced by my husband, Paul Jacobson on Vimeo.
How old are your kids? Do they throw tantrums? How do you deal with tantrums?
Shame poor little guy – tantrums are hard and tiring work!
Mine are 2½ and 5. Kara still throws tantrums occasionally but they are thankfully getting less (she was a real ‘vloermoer’ tantrum thrower, drama queen of note). Rafe’s tantrums are mostly just super long sulks now, though we do occasionally get the crying like the world is about to end moments.
They both started with tantrums around 18 months, they got less between 2 and 3 and with Rafe started up again with a vengeance after 3 (should be terrible 3′s not 2′s lol).
Hugs, just remember when it happens in public all parents have been through it and those who frown and shake their heads were probably tantrum throwers of note when they were your little ones age ;o)
It was a spectacular tantrum and my arm looks like I have been mauled by a cat.
aaaarrrggggg!! I know all too well what you are talking about!! My little one is 18 months and I sincerely hope this is the terrible 2′s come early!! WOW!! Who would have thought that a little boy can scream so much!! And you just dont know what it is they want – you try absolutely everything but its not good enough!!
And the hitting and biting and scratching and pinching – I have a fresh gouge out my left cheek from the last tantrum.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN!
And too think he was such a placid baby in the beginning….
Oh for sure! Aaron was an angel.
They say as soon as they can communicate better the tantrums lessen… I hope its soon!!!!
Well, he got a lot of attention from you guys. Attention = reward, so he’s gonna keep doing it.
The only way to deal with this is to ignore it.
even mid tantrum biting hitting etc should be punished – swiftly and with out a hint of doubt, the rest should be ignored – it is very difficult as the decibels rise and it is the voice that your soul and heart is welded to. the good news is that it gets better. Our drama queen is 3 and we have not had a full scene in 3 months.
It makes me feel normal reading posts like this – so thank you – we struggle with the Tantrum beast as well – and its so hard to manage – especially when you are in it and all you want is a bit of peace. We have tried the ‘naughty chair’/ ignoring and trying to set stronger boundaries – but still struggle – I put it down to the age and their need for independence and assertion.
I was once told that to navigate/or survive toddlers you need a good glass of wine and a sense of humour
Child Behavior Modification is so tough. There are moments that yelling at them is not enough. Tantrums in toddlers start when they want something which they cannot get or even when you do what they don’t want to.
The best way to deal with toddlers tantrums is to create activities that are fun and educational. You have to remember that this is the stage, that children copy what they see happening around them. This is also the best time to introduce your child to different activities.
My kids are 9 and 6 and believe me they still push their luck by throwing tantrums. I try and ignore them but it gets too much sometimes and I just loose it.