Archive for January, 2010

 Bontle Shadi Makgwa, a single mother of twin Todd’s… 6 in July plus  carer of 3 siblings going through varsity and high school.  Aware and grateful for what she has, feels priviledged and believes this also brings responsibility

As a ‘Jozikids’ Mom, I was very disturbed by the disaster that occurred in Haiti and just felt the pain that those children affected could be feeling  as they now have no mother, father, sibling, friend or guardian anymore.  I got home after looking at the pictures I downloaded from the internet, after having shared them with my colleagues at work, I showed them to others  so that they could see and understand.  I explained to them what had happened and asked if they could pray with me for all those little children,  just like them , in the hope that they could one day be happy little ones.

My pledge is: to all the other mothers around South Africa to show or explain to your children what is going on there, make them aware how blessed they are, teach them to be grateful (no matter how young they are, the sooner they learn, the better) and a thought in prayer from a little one here at home can make another little child in Haiti have a chance in hope.

My deepest prayers and thoughts.

By Laura-kim single mom, recently divorced with 2 kids and the author of the blog Harrased mom.

My children have been attending a small private school in my area. It is no where near the level of a Crawford or St Stithians so while I got excellent education I wasn’t paying exorbitant fees.

We were all happy.

But then Kiara headed for Gr 1 and the jump in fees simply was not manageable for me. It would mean that I would be spending a huge portion of my salary on school fees leaving nothing left for anything else.

So I moved them to a public school, with the intention of then saving money, enabling us to start moving forward on our journey to financial independence. HA! Well it has not worked out like that at all.

Last year November I registered them at the said public school and had to pay R5000 to guarantee them a place (I paid R1600 for registration at the private school per child). Then I received the list of stationery and headed off to the shops! HA! What a mission. The lists state clearly that we must buy the names specified, which is great – if only you can find the names specified. So 6 shops later I decided to throw caution to the wind and I bought the products I could find. In total all the stationery and toiletries I had to buy cost me around R1800.

Then came the best part- the school uniforms of this public school. The girls wear dresses, very pretty little dresses that cost R235 a pop! I couldn’t only buy one and even two is stretching things. I work. I don’t have time to wash and dry uniforms every day. Her shoes were R179 (shoes which I think are already too small, two weeks into the term). The tracksuit was over R500. The golf shirt for her sports activities is R117 for one. she has a sport on 4 days of the week – so again, one is not enough. Her costume cost R170 plus she needed a navy blue towel (Are you adding this all up?)

Cameron fortunately still fitted into his gray shorts and shoes from last year, but I will need to buy new ones next term. But his plain blue school shirt was R75 (it’s PLAIN BLUE). He also needs a sport shirt – at R119 (prices increase as the sizes do) and soccer socks (for cricket also) at R45 for one pair (clearly it costs huge money to put a blue stripe on a sock). His tracksuit was also R500 but I ran out of money so he has the bottom (R300) and a jersey (R39.99 at Pep) – I will get the top for winter. His costume was R100 plus the blue towel.

Let’s not forget the school bags, the lunch boxes, juice bottles – totally R300.

In case all those numbers confused you let me tell you – since November last year I have spent R11 000 on school stuff for my children at a public school. And it is a happy day for me when they come home and don’t ask for something more – these days have been few and far between since school opened two weeks ago.

Now I don’t earn a huge salary but I earn a lot more than most people who are sending there kids to this school – HOW do they manage? How do they find R11 000? I used all my savings, asked their dad for money and borrowed from my mom to be able to afford it.

I am all for uniforms – really I am. But do we need R235 dresses? I don’t buy dresses that cost that much. Do we really need golf shirts for R117? Do the gray socks really need that blue line through them? I honestly don’t think so. The school has major issues with children wearing the correct uniform and I can now see why. Change the uniform and I guarantee everyone will be uniform tomorrow. To me its better having everyone in plain colours than having half the school wearing one thing and the other half another!

My kids have now had to get used to eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because I cant afford more than that right now – I am busy repaying my mom and trying to save for next year!

By Wendy Walker the mother of 10 month old Jaron who keep her on the go and inspires her and her husband Bruce as they head up Babyproofessionals.

There I was in my heavily pregnant state – back aching, feet more swollen than my baby shower balloons and anxiety increasing with every direction I glanced in my home. Detergents within reach of a creeping crawling baby. Loose bookshelves that threatened to tip if I walked past too quickly, not to mention the climbing antics of a toddler. How would I know if the sweet furnishings n the crib were a secret death trap? What would I do if my bay stopped breathing? As my huffing and puffing turned to gasping, well-meaning friends tried to convince me my child “probably” wouldn’t succumb to any of the hazards I’d seen played out in my mind. Probably wasn’t good enough for me. And so off I went to do my research… and the classic advice “Get on your hands and knees and see the house through the eyes of a baby” just wasn’t going to cut it in my pregnant state, not to mention the drilling and hammering and picking and sticking that would have to follow an expensive spree for baby proofing items.

“There ought to be professionals to do this kind of thing,” I thought to myself. And so it was that BABYPROOFESSIONALS was born – a professional baby proofing service offering everything from assessments and educations to supplies, installations and an online safety store.

In the course  of our training and practice, we have found home items that can be dangerous to your child. Here are 5 of the many examples:

PILLOWS: Although you might not be able to sleep without the feathery fluff beneath your head, babies don’t need a pillow of any sort until the age of 2 as they can cause suffocation.

IRON AND IRONING BOARD: How many of us leave the iron on the ironing board? The head trauma to a child pulling an iron off the ironing board (which is usually so rickety) is unthinkable – and imagine the burn wounds if it is hot!

BATHROOM: The door to the bathroom should be closed with a safety gate to avoid burning and drowning in the bath, toilet or buckets… and I’m sure you’re not too keen on your baby sucking that toilet brush or eating the toilet paper!

BATTERIES: Remote controls, cameras, you name it, they’re battery operated! For your child to get their hands on a battery poses first the risk of choking and then – if they manage to swallow it – severe poisoning. Remember to keep all small or poisonous objects out of reach!

TABLECLOTHS: This one may seem strange! Depending on what you’re keeping on top of the tables, a baby pulling on a table cloth could end up with a glass vase, a marble statue or worse right on their head. Pack away your table cloths that dangle down to tempt your little one!

Of course the average home is riddled with many more dangers than these, but we’ll keep that for another article! Keep SAFE and enjoy your little explorer!

Have you had any close shaves at home with safety? Tell us about it.

by Philippa Cross who would rather be outdoors than in, alone than in a crowd. She prefers dogs to cats, with a major leaning towards bulldogs. She hopes to win the Pulitzer prize for her yet unpublished novel. She started Thumb Media with a partner in June 2009

I am amazed how many people haven’t the faintest idea about how to approach toddlers and children, and how to respect their space. So many people believe that because they are little, their rights to personal privacy are somehow diminished. They reach out to touch them, grab a hand, pinch a cheek, and plant a wet sloppy kiss on their cheeks. Even complete strangers in Pick n Pay have walked right up to my trolley, and grabbed a little hand before I could stop them.

Like every mother, I think my children are gorgeous. They have perfect little faces full of childhood innocence. They have huge blue eyes, white blonde hair, and fat rolls round their knees and wrists in that adorable way only toddlers can pull off.  They are as pinchable and as kissable as can be. But I know better than to pinch their bums without permission though.

Even when they were tiny little things I approached them as I would approach a stranger who’s space I was seriously about to invade. I was gentle, respectful, and I asked permission. I never just assumed because I was their mom that I could lift up their t-shirt and plant a big zerbit on their tummies. I wanted them to be the masters of their young bodies right from the beginning. Obviously, there have been times when I’ve had to do what I’ve had to do. I don’t get their express permission every nappy change time, or every bath time.

I can’t be alone in having to keep a vigilant watch over my children when people visit. And when my sons don’t warm to them in the first 30 seconds of them walking through the door, I find myself apologising to them, trying to spare their feelings.

“Don’t take it personally, Nathan is just very shy. Give him some time and he’ll warm up to you.”

Bollocks to that. Nathan is three. You’re 63. You’re old enough to know better. Nathan’s not shy. He’s normal. How would you feel if someone 4 times your size walked into your house, marched straight up to you and tried to pick you up, puckered up their over made up lips and planted a wet soggy one on your cheek? You’d probably get the fright of your life and call the police. Why on earth should he know who you are and why you want to kiss him?

On the other hand, I do all I can to prepare the little chaps for just such occasions.

 

“Aunt Lillian hasn’t seen you since you were a tiny baby.”

“When I was a baby and I had a dummy and you changed my nappy?”

“Yes. Since then.”

“Like Dylan.”

“Yes, since you were as small as Dylan.  Aunt Lillian hasn’t seen you since you were smaller than Dylan is now. And she’s going to come and visit us today.”

“At our house?”

“That’s right. She’s coming to our house to visit you and your brother. And she’s going to want to give you a big squeeze and a kiss.”

“Like I kiss Hadyn at school?”

“Do you kiss Hadyn at school?”

“And Skylah.”

“You kiss Hadyn and Skylah at school. What does Teacher Anne say?”

<Giggle>

“Will you give your mom a kiss then?”

<giggle>< run away>

 

At which point I use the prerogative that is mine as his mother alone, break my rule, chase after him, pick him up, and force 100s of kisses all over his cheeks and his tummy. Just to show him who’s boss.  That will teach him not to give his mom a kiss!

by Brendah Nyakudya,  a single mum to a 4yr old girl. Admittedly not the best cook, but loves exploring the outdoors with her little one. A political and social commentator she has just started a blog As I see it. During the day she works for management consultants in Johannesburg

When we picked a nursery school for our 4 year old daughter, racial percentages of the kids in the school wasn’t an issue. It was a highly recommended school and close to home, so it made sense for her to go there.

The fact that she is one of 3 black kids in the class also didn’t bother me until one Saturday morning when she woke me up with the statement “Mommy I don’t like brown people except for my family, I only like white people”.  Obviously this shook me right out of my reverie of sleeping in and uninterrupted showers. I hesitantly asked “Why don’t you like brown people?” to which she responded “They are boring and they make me upset”.  I try to make light of the situation and say “But sweetheart, brown is beautiful and it’s the colour of chocolate. We like chocolate don’t we?” Her response? “No, I like white marshmallows.”

So here I am sitting in my bedroom faced by my little racist toddler at a complete loss as to what to do or say thinking this child needs Jesus, but little things start to make sense e.g. how she wants me to make her hair “like Sally*”, she prefers Barbie to her darker counterparts and how she is always more comfortable around white people than around “brown” people.

I then had the talk with her about the fact  that no skin colour is better than any other colour and that brown is beautiful. She eventually said “I like brown people Mommy” but I am not convinced she is convinced. Could it be that being part of the minority has made her hate who she is? Was it something one of the kids said? How does a parent deal with this? Any ideas welcome.

P.S. In the meantime I am making sure she doesn’t end up with my friend’s son the homophobe.

*names changed to protect the innocent

Recipes supplied by  Richard Rust , a fabulous, 5 star trained, gourmet chef. He has cooked for, amongst others, British royalty, Woolworths and written for Taste magazine. His company Gourmet Gurus caters for children’s parties; lunch boxes; private/corporate functions and dinner parties.

The moment we think of lunchboxes the dreaded soggy sandwich appears. Below are ideas that can be made a couple of days in advance to add variety to a lunchbox that are easy and cost effective whilst adding important nutrients.

When making sandwiches vary the types of breads, try using rolls, wraps, croissants. Ifusing fresh tomato always make sure that the tomato does not come into contact with the bread as this will cause them to go soggy.

Mix cooked chicken with mayo the day before for an easy option.

Stir fry strips of beef with strips of vegetables and use in a wrap.

Mix mayonnaise with grated cheese and cooked bacon bits.

Try pasta salads, mix cooked pasta with mayonnaise or a dressing plus your child’s favourite things.

Add portions of dried fruit or fresh pieces of carrot etc instead of chocolates for a healthier option.

PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

Makes: 30
Preparation time:10minutes
Cooking time: 10minutes
Ingredients:
60g salted butter
125ml Crunchy Peanut Butter
100g brown sugar
100g caster sugar
1 extra large egg
140g cake flour

Method:

Lightly grease 2 baking sheets and pre-heat an oven to 180ã

Cream the butter and peanut butter together. Gradually add the sugars beating well.

Beat the egg into the mixture until light and fluffy. Sift in the flour mixing well.

Shape a teaspoon of mixture onto the trays and bake for 10minutes.

When cooked allow to cool on a wire rack.

QUICHE

Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: 45-50 minutes
Ingredients:
125g butter (unsalted)
250g flour
1 egg
½ teaspoon salt
60ml milk
150g spinach, steamed, squeezed and chopped (optional)
150g bacon, cooked and chopped
150g cheese grated
2 eggs
250ml cream

Method:

Mix salt and flour thoroughly.

Rub the butter into the flour until it resembles fine bread crumbs.

Mix in the egg and milk.

Knead briefly.

Rest in the fridge for 20 minutes.

Roll out and press into a pie dish.

Pierce and bake blind without colour (approx 20 minutes)

Baking blind is the technique that requires the filling of the pastry shell with foil or parchment paper and dried beans.

The beans help to keep the shape of the shell while cooking it empty.

Remove the beans.

Mix the spinach, bacon and cheese together and place in the pie shell.

Mix together the eggs and cream and pour into the pie shell to fill.

Bake at 180ºC for 25 minutes until the filling is just set.

SMOKED CHICKEN BACON AND RED PESTO PASTA SALAD

Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes
Ingredients:
300g penne pasta
100g smoked bacon rashers
2 smoked chicken breasts
1 tub Woolworths Fresh Sun Dried Tomato Pesto
Handful basil ripped
15g fresh parmesan, shaved with a vegetable peeler

Method:

Cook the pasta as per instructions.

Cook the bacon until crispy.

Thinly slice the chicken and chop the bacon.

Mix the pasta with the bacon, chicken, pesto and basil.

Recipes supplied by Gourmet Gurus. Caterers for children’s parties; lunch boxes; private/corporate functions and dinner parties.
Contact Richard (former Woollies chef) on 074 1722312 or gourmetgurus@live.co.za
Share your favourite lunchbox recipes with us please.

by Joy Robyn Dembo, married, with an 18 year old son and a 25 year old daughter.  Addicted to the www, particularly Twitter. Recruitment Response Handling Consultant and Freelance Copywriter, vegetarian and animal lover.  Here’s her blog.

I was totally exhausted and exasperated after constantly begging my son to study for his Matric exams!  So, when 25 November finally dawned, I was dizzy with elation…Ryan was about to write his absolute FINAL “final”.

When he got home, I sighed with relief, and helped him pack for his first holiday.  Like all spoilt brats, he was off on Matric Rage (much like the US Spring Break).  Ryan and his buddies (all 6000 of them) were going to rock (wreck?) Umhlanga for two weeks, and then return to base (aka home) for a few days, before jetting off to Cape Town for another two week holiday.  I know… life is hard for a Jozi teenager!

I had mixed emotions. I knew I would miss him like hell, but I was also looking forward to having a break from the insanity of exams, registering at college, buying “stuff” for his holiday, booking flights, forking out money…forking out money… and did I mention FORKING OUT MONEY?

Umhlanga wasn’t too bad, as we were also in the Zulu Kingdom for the first week of his stay, and we even saw him ONCE, when he needed a temporary place to “hang out” (long story), but Cape Town was horrendous.  Each day, I missed him more.  And, when the IEB Matric results came out, and he passed with a University Entrance, I was mortified that I couldn’t hug him and congratulate him, in person.

05 January finally arrived, and as my eyes opened, all I could think about was “My Baby is coming home today”.  I told everyone who would listen, including my Twitter buddies, my dogs, and the budgie!

We got to the airport early, had a bite, and when we saw that his flight had landed, we flew (what a marvellous pun) to the domestic Arrivals Terminal. As he emerged through the electronic doors, I sprinted over to meet him, and hugged and kissed him with all the emotion that had been welling up inside me while he was away.

I went to bed happy.

I had told him that he had to get up early on Wednesday morning as we had bought him a new TV, as a “passing Matric gift” and the guy was coming to install it at 10:30.  After begging him to get up about 8 times, I lost my cool and threw a tantrum.  I was told to “chill” and “stop shouting”.  GRRRRRRRRR!  I was beginning to wonder whether I was on drugs when I bought him the TV!?

He finally came downstairs, cleaned out the fridge, politely dumped all his dirty dishes in the sink, left the tomato sauce, cheese, salad dressing and a large assortment of other condiments on the table, and parked himself in front of the TV to watch the cricket. He then had a bath, left the bathtub filthy, and dropped his towel on the floor.  The coup de grace came when he opened his case, filled with dirty, foul smelling clothes and left it on MY bed!

Thankfully, it’s only 364 days until he goes back to Cape Town, for College Vac!!!

by Paul Jacobson. Dad. Husband. Lawyer. Geek. Blogger. Evangelist. Maven. He blogs at Paul Jacobson and Web. Tech. Law

Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a manual that actually worked? The older our little one gets the more I realise that I am grasping in the dark for a way to persuade him to do some of the things I want him to do (bathing, eating a meal, lying still so I can change a full nappy/diaper, that sort of thing).

What I have learned is that he is stubborn, determined and doesn’t respond well to me getting angry. On that note, me getting angry with him just shows who the real child is and it isn’t our 2 year old!

I keep thinking there must be a way to communicate better with him and persuade him to do some of the things we want him to do. A previous girlfriend is a teacher and she often told me that kids crave structure, whether they know it or not, and they tend to thrive when they have a constructive structure to work with (ok, I read in the last bit). I just don’t know how to do that, do you?

I’m starting to see negative effects of me getting angry with him when he doesn’t listen to me. It seems like he gets a little more withdrawn and that really worries me a lot. He wants to be picked up a lot and that suggests insecurity to me. That also bothers me, a lot!

So what works? What lessons have other parents learned? If anything, I am starting to see that my own anger is just an expression of my frustration with a number of factors in my life and that really isn’t fair on our son. There must be a better way.

 Recipes supplied by  Richard Rust , a fabulous, 5 star trained, gourmet chef. He has cooked for, amongst others, British royalty, Woolworths and written for Taste magazine. His company Gourmet Gurus caters for children’s parties; lunch boxes; private/corporate functions and dinner parties.

 

LOW FAT BUTTERNUT SOUP

Serves: 4
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 40 minutes

Ingredients:

1 tbsp olive oil

2 onions, peeled and sliced

1 clove garlic, peeled and crushed

1 tsp cumin powder

1 tsp cardamom seeds, toasted and ground

1 red chilli, finely diced

500g butternut, peeled and cubed

200ml orange juice

300ml fat free milk

500ml vegetable stock

handful fresh coriander leaves (optional)

freshly ground salt and black pepper to taste

Method:

Heat the oil in a large saucepan, add the onions and cook until translucent.

Add the garlic, cumin, cardamom and chilli. Cook for 2minutes.

Add the butternut and stir well to coat the spices evenly on the butternut.

Add the liquid and gently simmer until the butternut is soft. If using add the coriander.

Blend the soup until smooth; add seasoning if desired. Bring back to the boil and serve with fresh country bread.

PORK AND CHICKEN STEAMED CABBAGE PARCELS

 

Serves: 4

Preparation time: 10 minutes

Cooking time: 20 minutes

Ingredients

8 cabbage leaves

200g lean pork mince

200g chicken mince

3 small chopped onions

8 chopped spring onions

4 crushed garlic cloves

2 chopped chillies

200g cooked jasmine rice

salt and pepper to taste

30ml soy sauce

Chinese BBQ sauce to serve

Method:

Steam cabbage leaves for 30seconds, remove hard core.

Stir-fry pork, chicken, onions, garlic and chilli until cooked.

Add rice and seasoning,

Wrap mixture in the leaves and secure with a toothpick.

Steam for 10minutes and serve sliced with the BBQ sauce.

CHICKEN STIR FRY

 

Serves: 4

Preparation time: 5 minutes

Cooking time: 5 minutes

Ingredients:

1tbsp oil

2tsp each crushed garlic and ginger

1 tsp crushed chilli

4 skinless chicken breasts, sliced

4 oyster mushrooms or handful button mushrooms, sliced

2 peppers, sliced

Small bunch spring onions, sliced

Handful mung bean sprouts

1 packet noodles, soaked and rinsed under cold water

2tbsp soy sauce

Handful basil leaves, roughly chopped

Method:

Heat the oil in a wok or fry pan.

Add the garlic, ginger and chilli and cook for 1 minute.

Add the chicken and stir fry until browned.

Add the vegetables and stir fry for a further 2minutes. Add the noodles, soy sauce and basil, cook for 1 minute.

Serve in a rice bowl and eat immediately.

Recipes supplied by Gourmet Gurus. Caterers for children’s parties; lunch boxes; private/corporate functions and dinner parties.

Contact Richard (former Woolies chef) on   074 1722312  074 1722312 or gourmetgurus@live.co.za

Kerry Haggard is a writer, editor, wife and mother to the two most gorgeous boys that ever there were. One day when she grows up she hopes to be a real geek, but for now, she’s happy to sit and watch her husband excel at that…

We chose to stay in Jozi these holidays, and it really was great – the roads and shops were quiet, the weather was mostly agreeable, and we spent some good quality time at home.

We did go out and about though, and it was great to be a tourist in our own city, so to speak. Having two small boys changes your choices of venue somewhat, and it was intriguing to see who caters for families and how.

We went to the Johannesburg Zoo for a morning, and it was great to see all the development there, and the wide variety of animals, the beautiful landscapes, and the restaurant. What wasn’t great? Seeing the golfcarts lined up for repair (apparently they’re being discontinued in the new year), and being put at number 19 on the waiting list at 10 in the morning, in spite of one of our party being heavily pregnant. We also felt that R10 per ride in the funfair was outrageous.

I thought that Heaven’s Gate in Boksburg, looked like a great spot for a visit, but was disappointed to see that it very definitely is by appointment only – it’s not just schools that need to make appointments, as I understood from the website. But it’s got a great selection of birds, and plenty of spots for picnics, so we’ll definitely go there again, with an appointment.

The Secret Garden at Norscot Manor was nice for the little people, although a little more shade in their playground would not go amiss. It’s a really pretty venue, and looks like it would be great for moms’ teaparties, while the littlies keep themselves amused.

Twigs at the Garden Shop (cnr Jan Smuts Avenue and Bolton Avenue in Rosebank) has a great enclosed playground for children and their food is good, but that’s about where the ‘great’ stops. Service is appalling, and there is nowhere to change nappies – it’s either the boot of your car (my choice), or on the concrete floor in the less-than-elegant outbuilding toilets.

The hit of our holiday? The Adventure Golf park at Stoneridge Mall, just behind Greenstone Mall. A great vibe, three fun courses, and a friendly and well stocked refreshment stand … and they didn’t charge us for the littlest Haggard (aged 21 months), who clutched his ball and golfclub (aka ‘bat’) as if his life depended on it for most of our time there

What was your favourite holiday outing in Jozi these holidays?