Comments on: How do single parents find romance?

By: Brendah

Brendah — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 06:57:06 +0000

Thank you all for your comments. It really does help to know I am not alone in the stress. Ronel I hear what you are saying about not wanting to go out of your routine to meet a potential partner. It would be ideal to be able to meet him in the day to day activities. Barrie I think to a large extent it would be the same concerns whether its a single mom or a single dad, because these issues are more about making sure our children get acceptance, security and love from whomever we give our hearts to. Its all very interesting.

By: Barrie

Barrie — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 06:26:42 +0000

Thanks Brenda for some honest and insightful reflections on being a single mom.

As I read I wondered if it’s different for a single dad? I wondered what their reflections and experiences would be? And how they might be different? Is being a single dad different simply because women are different? Are they that different? Challenge is finding those dad’s who are the primary care-givers. It’s not ‘the norm’, especially in divorce.

My own paradigm is, perhaps incorrectly, that it is different for a single dad who is primary care-giver. I cannot comment accurately because I don’t fit that demographic.

But mostly what i’m curious about, is that if it’s different, why is it different?

Here’s hoping a single dad / primary care-giver will weigh in and let us know…

By: Ronel

Ronel — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:39:17 +0000

Nice to see I am not the only one with this problem. I have been divorced for 10 years. Had 2 relationships that suited me well. Saw the men every second weekend when the kids were with daddy. During the week I had the kids for myself. Perfect relationships for a single mother – until they want to get serious. As you say – as a 45 year old (and there is nothing wrong with me) – we are more mature and more clever. I don’t want to waste my time going out with somebody who I can already see before the first date that I do not want a relationship with him. I love the space I am in at the moment, independent, social and a great career. But do we want to be single for the rest of our lives?? And ….. where do you meet decent men – I don’t go to pubs after work, I go straight home to my children – and furthermore – I definitely do not want to post my photo on a single’s club ……

By: duds

duds — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:35:57 +0000

Wow Brenda thank God you are sharing this with us. Its too complicated even agreeing to a date and suddenly thinking about the little darlings I left at home. My girls night out are more adjustable but I cannot see myself not thinking about the little darlings while out for a date. Actually I end up talking about my 2 angels more to see how the male counterpart reacts to this. If I irritate him with sharing about my kids then that slowly gives away his intentions. I only enjoy our girly time now. I also have a 4 year old and making them eat their food is a problem on its own.

By: Diane Prince Johnston

Diane Prince Johnston — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:07:28 +0000

Great post and so true. It is a totally different story dating as a 40 year old single parent of three little girls than when I did it the last time around: unencumbered and 20! And it is not just our parenthood to consider. Work, ex-spouses and the man’s children are all part of the scenario. However, despite all of the obstacles and fears in navigating through this new territory, I find myself much more sure of myself, where I am in life and able to evaluate with whom I spend my time which is, of course, a theory as we all know that we have no time for dating!