Archive for May, 2010

by Sally Cameron, midwife, mother of 2 and co-owner of earthbabies . I am passionate, creative, trying to be Green unschooling single mom. It’s a journey

Being a mother is a life changing role that nothing can prepare you for, no matter how much you read, or plan, or try to get mentally ready for.

Perhaps the biggest part that we are ill prepared for, more than the sleepless nights and the change in routine, is two emotions that no one really talks about; guilt and doubt.

It does not matter how competent you were at any job, or the high powered position you may have held, or how confident you were, parenting is a job where the stakes are higher than anything you will ever have done before, or will do again, and the worst part, is that there is no manual. Sure  there are plenty of how to books, with all sorts of ideas, but the small people we get, are each individual, unique and different to any other child, so any manual is at best a guess, and may not suit you or your child’s temperament.

The best option you have, is to find what seems to work for you and your child or what you believe is right. Then you land up defending this method to all others because the outcome is so important. You can’t be wrong because then your child’s future is at stake. And while you will defend what you do, to the death, the doubt will gnaw at you in the quiet moments –“ have I really got it right?” If you are right then they should turn out okay, and if not then others will look at you and shake their heads and say; you were too strict or too lenient, too permissive or too dominant, you crushed their spirits or you let them run wild, you worked or you stayed at home.

I do not think we all need to parent in the same way but we need to acknowledge  that at best we are all guessing and trying to get it right. Maybe if we defend less and share our insecurities more we may be able to learn more from each other and grow as parents, rather than tear each other apart by defending what we do, tooth and nail.

This Mothers Day, add a healthy dose of ‘cutting-yourself-some-slack’ and go out and enjoy the things that make this job, no matter the difficulties, one of the best and most rewarding things you will ever do. Shelve the guilt, ignore the doubt and revel in the joy, those pesky emotions will be there waiting for you again on Monday…

Happy Mother’s Day.

By Jacqui Janse van Rensburg who has lived in Johannesburg all her life. In her 42 years she has been a daughter, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, an employee and is a CFO, but at last she can celebrate being a MOMMY! You can find her on twitter @JaxJvR

It took us 6 years of tears and agony to finally have a baby at home in a crib, but it is 6 years I would gladly do again. Every night I go into Matthew’s room and I am taken aback as to how beautiful, how perfect he is! My chest swells, and I feel my ribs will break as my heart fills my chest with the love I have for this little person.

In his (almost) 3 years of being my son, never a day has gone by that he hasn’t made me laugh out loud! He amazes me with his knowledge and complete innocence, not to mention his mischievous sense of humor.

For example, we don’t smack in our house, instead we have a “naughty chair”. And although he doesn’t spend much time in it, he certainly knows what it is for. Yesterday morning I caught him throwing spoons full of cereal at one of the cats! “Matthew! Don’t throw food! That’s naughty!” says a very stern Mommy! And in a flash Matthew turns to me and says, “Don’t shout at me! Go sit on the naughty chair!” Of course, I tried very hard to keep a straight face, but I just burst out laughing! The cereal was abandoned to the happy cat, and Mom and Matthew went off to bounce on the bed together instead.

It is also so wonderful to be able to sing “Bob the Builder” at the top of your voice while doing shopping on a Saturday morning, and no one calls the paddy wagon, or even looks at you twice! Why? ‘cause when you have a kid in the trolley, you get to be a kid again yourself!

And so tonight, I will go tuck him in before I go to bed myself, and once again I will give thanks to God for blessing me with this little Miracle Angel that he has loaned to me, so that someone can call me “Mommy”

Thank you.

Mommy

by  Siyabulela Sekeleni, born and bred in the Eastern Cape, rural boy through and through. Well adjusted, very adaptable, loves music and animals. Radiohead groupie. Find him on twitter @siyabulelas

My mother, born on Christmas eve 1953. Parents: Robert and Persis Cakata. Superwoman some might call her. I know that I certainly would. She’s a woman I love and respect deeply. Here’s a long overdue letter with love from a regular ‘dude’, to my Xhosa African Queen Mother:

Dear Mama (Zalisa Sekeleni),
“Can’t” – a word that I have never heard you say. “You live and learn”? Yes, those are also your words.

I know a lot of wonderful mothers, none that could manage two jobs, day and night the way you have and continue to do, as a radiographer by day and a doctor’s assistant after hours.

Among your awesome feats is giving birth to and raising 6 strong grown-up young individuals, Bongani, Thandile, Siyabulela (myself), Bukiwe, Banele, and Loyiso Sekeleni;

I know I was really unruly, breaking stuff, losing house keys, that you nearly had a heart attack the day I stuck a live electric wire in my mouth when I was 5 years old.

Then when I was about 10 years old, we lived in a small village (your home) in Centane on the Transkei coast where you worked at a hospital close by. We had to fetch water from the river and wood from the forest to make a fire.

When I had a child out of wedlock you weren’t pleased, I know this  because all you said was “uqale ngeyokugqibela” (meaning:  you jumped to last step).  You still supported me all the way even though you had hoped I would know better, as my sister was already an example. That’s the only time I felt I disappointed you.

When my daughter was born you travelled all the way to Johannesburg to make amends with their family. Since then you’ve visited my daughter a couple of times and are always a call away if I need you. You’re even prepared to take time off work to help me..

When we disagree, you know just how to let me know that you think I am talking drivel. The rules are clear. You listen, you consider, and you make a decision. No two ways about it

I live alone now, and I’m proud to say that my place reflects the lessons you have taught me: cleanliness, warmth, a spirit of content. I’ve also learnt compassion and compromise (though of course some might not agree. LOL!).

Happy Mother’s Day Mamtipha!

One more thing before I’m out: If it’s true what they say about every man looking for the reflection of his mother in a partner, then I must say, jokingly of course (don’t run away now ladies the women out there might not stand a chance.

P.S. Am sure my mama wonders when I am getting married though!!

by Rachel Edelstein who is  9 years old  in Grade 4 at King David Victory Park. She loves drama and dancing and plays the violin and piano.

I think My Mom is probably the coolest Mom on earth!

She is funny, cuddly, caring, the ultimate businesswomen, strange and a million things more.  Whether you’re happy, laughing, feeling blue or any other emotion my Mom is the best.

She’s not just my mom but my best friend too. No matter where we are in the world we’ll always end up canning ourselves laughing.So much of my life is laughing with my Mom.

My Mom teaches me valuable life lessons and how to be a successful businesswoman too. I always say to her it’s so weird seeing you doing conferences for lots of people and then looking at you another time and seeing just my Mommy.  Then again it makes me feel so proud! I hope when I am her age I will be just like her! 

She has taught me how to do public speaking without being shy, how to make lots of little creative things and how to have a love of music and writing. Once my Mom even took me with her to the SABC and I ended up having my own radio interview.

When I was younger I always used to think: how adults have so many more days to celebrate eg.( birthdays, anniversaries, Mothers day and Fathers day.) while we (kids) only get birthdays! But then I think again and say to myself  it’s because they work so hard cooking for us, taking us to friends, extra murals and more. So G-d decided to give Moms a break and to me that’s why we celebrate Mothers’ day. I love you Mommy and Happy Mothers day or as I like to call it Mommy’s Day

<3 <3 <3

I <3 U!

Before Kerry Haggard was a mom or a wife, she was a daughter. In honour of Mother’s Day, and her awesome mom, Kerry is blogging as a JoziKid this time round, rather than as a Jozi mom. You can find Kerry on Twitter or on her blog, Energy (In)Efficient.

My mom was a teacher, and she was one of those teachers that EVERYONE remembers. Some of them remembered her because she was determined to stay in control of her class, but most of them I suspect remembered her because she was a damn good teacher. I used to sit in her class after nursery school, and then I joined her school in Grade 1, for the rest of my primary school career. That combination stuck me with the label of ‘Mrs Johnson’s daughter’ for much longer than I would realise.

When I went to high school, and was dealing with the inelegance of Standard Six initiation, I had matrics asking me if I was Mrs Johnson’s daughter. It happened at university too – and when I moved to London for 18 months, it happened on tube station platforms, at a concert, and even at a braai at the neighbour’s house.

THAT’s how far my mother’s influence as a teacher reached. And I used to hate it, that I wasn’t Kerry, rather, I was Mrs Johnson’s daughter.

But you know what? Now that I have a little more wisdom and a lot more appreciation for what it takes to be a mother and a teacher, I couldn’t be more proud to be Mrs Johnson’s daughter.

There were times when I really was a horrible teenager, and even into my 20s, I made some really stupid mistakes and I spent too much time with some really wrong people. But she supported me through all that, confident that she had given me the tools to figure stuff out for myself. She stood her ground when I was being completely unreasonable, standing strong through my tears and one memorable (or forgettable!) night when I think she and my dad locked me in the house to stop me tearing out to visit my prove-my-point boyfriend. And when I felt that I had to persist in something really silly, she stood by and let me figure stuff out for myself. And I’ve never once heard her say “I told you so” when she turned out to be right. Which was most of the time. Well, all the time.

My mom is in her late 60s now, and lives in a lovely cottage in a retirement village, 10 minutes away from us. She has the most beautiful garden that I suspect would win a gardening competition hands-down. She adores my sons, and I know that they adore her. She plays the organ in her church every Sunday, and is very active in the church community. She supports my family and me in so many ways that I couldn’t possibly list them all here, and is available at the drop of a hat whenever we need her. She is strong and independent, and is never afraid to try new things. She has a wicked sense of humour, and a vibrant group of friends.

I love my mom, so much, and I must tell you, I am PROUD to be Mrs Johnson’s daughter.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

provided by Diane Vaubell,  a work-from-home-mom to 2 small picky, vegetarians. She is an amateur blogger with obsessive addictions to food, photography and online social networking. Visit her  blog or catch her on @dirott

This is a dish that I watched my mother make when I was a child. It wasn’t made from a recipe because my mom liked to make things up as she went along. In honour of Mother’s Day I’d like to share with you her true adventurous kitchen spirit, in what is a FIRM family favourite.

This dish does take a while to make but I can promise you that it is totally divine and well worth every minute spent on it. You can keep things simple by buying pancakes and even the Béchamel sauce. Simply sauté up the filling, assemble and bake.

The pancake element had my picky son intrigued and he became an instant spinach fan. So I can guarantee that it is 100%  kid-tested and kid-approved.

Makes ± 12 crepes. (about 4-6 servings)

INGREDIENTS:

Filling:

1 large onion (chopped)
Olive (or sunflower) oil for sautéing
250g mushrooms (roughly chopped)
2 tomatoes (diced)
200g fresh spinach (roughly chopped)
Salt and pepper

Béchamel (white sauce):

6 tablespoons plain floor
6 tablespoons margarine
3 cups of milk
Salt and pepper

Crepes (plain pancakes):

You can use store-bought pancakes (Woolworths sells them in the freezer section) or you can make your own. I usually cheat and buy the Woolworths pancakes…it saves a lot of time.

240g plain flour (not self-raising  flour, which will make the pancakes too thick)
Pinch of salt
4 eggs
410  ml milk
180ml water
2 tbsp sunflower oil
1-2 tsp margarine

To Finish:

240g Cheddar cheese (grated)

METHOD:

Filling:

Pre-heat your oven to 200C

Sauté the onion in oil until they turn translucent

Add chopped mushrooms and keep stirring. You don’t want the mushrooms and onions to brown too much.

When the mushrooms have cooked down a bit, add the tomatoes.

When the tomatoes are soft, add the spinach. It may look like a lot but it wilts down significantly. Sauté until the spinach is wilted.

Season to taste and set aside.

Now onto the Béchamel sauce:

Béchamel Sauce:

You’re more the welcome to make it on the stove but I’m going to tell you how to make it in the microwave – it’s a lot quicker!

Melt the margarine in a microwave-safe bowl (usually 30-40 seconds)

Add the flour to the margarine and stir till you have doughy ball.

Slowly dribble some milk over the doughy ball, all the while whisking vigorously. Take your time with this step. As the mixture becomes more runny you can add the milk faster.

Return bowl to the microwave for 2 minutes – on full power.

Whisk vigorously. Don’t worry about lumps, they’ll whisk out as you go.

Return bowl to microwave for further 2 minutes. Whisk and repeat until you have a thickened sauce. Don’t let it get too thick as it tends to thicken further on standing.

Season to taste and set aside.

Pancakes:

Sift the flour and salt into a bowl.

Make a well in the centre of the flour and crack in your  eggs.

With a whisk, start to whisk the eggs, gradually drawing  in all the flour.

In a jug, mix your water and milk together.

Gradually pour the water and milk mixture to the flour,  salt and egg mixture. Whisk as you go along. You are aiming for a pouring  cream-like consistency.

Add the sunflower oil to the mixture.

Melt your margarine in a pre-heated non-stick crepe or  frying pan.

Using a ladle, ladle your mixture into the pan, swirling  the pan as you go to coat the base evenly.

Flip the pancake to cook both sides

Set Aside

FINAL ASSEMBLY:

Now the fun really starts.

Gather all three elements: filling, sauce and pancakes.

With your pancakes in a pile, sprinkle a tablespoon or two of filling in straight line down the middle of the top pancake.

Roll the pancake and place it in a baking dish. You use a large dish or smaller individual serving dishes – as I have done)

Continue until all pancakes are rolled and in the dish.

Pour over the bechemal sauce.

Sprinkle cheese over the sauce and place in the oven.

Bake at 200C for 20 –25 minutes (until sauce is bubbling and the cheese is golden)

(insert pic 5 here)

Allow to stand for 10-15 minutes before serving. This “sets” the dish.

You can serve with a salad or a meat dish – if you want to stretch it further.

Enjoy!