Archive for February, 2011

by Jayshree Sita, a mom who traded the life of a chartered accountant to become a teacher and now devotes her time to her  family. She’s also an aspiring writer and artist who is passionate about self-development.

I read an article in the Feb issue of Woman and Home entitled, “Don’t call me a housewife, I’m a CHO(Chief Household Officer).”

I am currently a stay-at-home mom of two gorgeous kids aged 9 and 6, and interestingly my husband is the CEO of a very prestigious company. I would love to add a ‘C’ to my title.

A key message in the article indicated that “the role of housewife is not going to go away, but it’s about empowerment, and bringing challenge, enjoyment and status back to a role in decline.”  This line touched a chord with me as I believe that I have experienced this very phenomenon and would like to share my story.

I have experienced a glamorous corporate career as a chartered accountant, and a second very rewarding, yet challenging career as a teacher.

As a teacher I had the opportunity to inspire young people, and contribute meaningfully to their growth and learning. I taught business studies at matric level and could use my CA experience to make lessons ‘real world’ and interesting. However, the teaching workload was immense. I also found that a lot of teaching time was lost in playing policeman in the classroom. I realised how important my role is as a parent in raising my kids to have good manners and to instill a learning culture in them from a young age.

In 2008, we had begun to build a new home, and I found myself becoming the unofficial building project manager looking after builders, plumbers, etc., an unpaid, unglamorous, super stressful role.  Eventually, I let go my teaching job to focus on getting the house built.  Thankfully,that experience is behind me and we now live in a beautiful home.

I chose not to return to formal teaching,being fully aware that the demands were too high on my  family time.

Nevertheless, at home I sometimes felt lonely and unfulfilled. Being “just a mommy” is not very intellectually stimulating and carries no status in society. Added to this, my husband’s promotion to CEO triggered a few self-esteem issues. I asked myself, “Am I okay being just a supporting actress in the Sita Family Show?”

Anyway, I turned 40 last year and began to explore things that I find uplifting – art, writing ,reading, volunteering at schools and studying Vedanta philosophy. I also found like-minded people to team up with in these endeavours.

My Vedanta studies led me to formulating an ideal for myself. It is “To build a community of caring, creative, thinking children who will contribute to the world in a positive way  with a strong self-belief as well as sound values and judgement. I have begun to work on this ideal at home, and within my community and neighbouring schools. In pursuit of this ideal, I see my own fulfillment arising whether in a formal or informal job.

Hence, I now feel at peace as I am able to fulfill that vital role of CHO (I love the term), while still following my personal aspirations and giving myself the respect I believe I am due.

by Erin Ismay, art lover and creative enthusiast, venturing into the world of business running art and craft parties for kids,  loves travel, photography and spending time with her hubby! She’s also the owner of  pop art parties

This is a lovely way of teaching your kids a bit about gardening and also allowing them to be creative and decorate their own pot plants. Hopefully this will help them take responsibility and pride in the care of their little plants. So take a trip to the nursery and have some fun together choosing some herbs or little flowers that they can plant and grow.

You will need

Small terra cotta pot
Potting soil
Herbs/flowers for planting
School blackboard paint (available Hardware store or Art Supply shop)
Colourful chalk
Newspaper
Paintbrush
Turpentine for cleaning brushes and hands.

If you would like to split this project over two events then first do the décor of the pot plant holders and on another occasion go to the nursery to get some plants etc.

Step 1:

Make sure the pots are clean and dry. Put down some newspaper and set the pot upside down. Make sure you stir the blackboard paint first. Start painting the pot and once complete, leave to dry. You may need to add an extra coat if it has not covered the surface fully.

Step 2:

Once dry you can turn over and paint the inside rim. This way the pot won’t stick to the newspaper!

Step 3:

Once completely dry the fun begins! Kids can draw and decorate their pot and write their names on it or the name of the herb they are planting etc. The best part is that if they don’t like their design they can wipe it off and start again!

You can plant your herbs/flowers after this. This also makes a great gift to give to friends or grandparents! Tie a ribbon around the pot and voila you have the perfect handcrafted gift!

Tips:

School blackboard paint can be pricey so here are a few other ideas for what to do with the paint.

Make a blackboard for your child to draw on by painting it on a piece of masonite board.

If you are really brave you could even paint one wall in your child’s bedroom for them to draw on with chalk!

Lindsay Grubb, wife & mom to a nearly 3 yr old daughter and owner of L Communications where she helps you get the right message across to the right audience. Follow her on Twitter and LinkedIn

Working mothers are less dedicated. Working mothers are less adaptable. Working mothers’ skills are outdated. Working mothers are going to take maternity leave as soon as you hire them.

These are just some of the reasons 69% of companies in South Africa won’t be hiring working mothers in 2011 according to www.Fin24.com journalist Vida Booysen’s article “Hard times ahead for working moms”

Does this make you as mad as it made me when I read it?

I was retrenched along with 900,000 other people in the 2009 recession. With few employment opportunities available, I started my own marketing and public relations agency, L Communications, I’m also a freelance writer and I run www.hiccupsandgigglessa.com a parenting website.

Like every other working mom I know, I work incredibly hard. I’m in the home office every morning at 07:20, sometimes even 05:00 if I have a deadline and run flat out till five that evening, when my amazing nanny Mirriam goes home.

Then I swop my busy executive hat for my mom hat and my full focus turns to Ciara, my nearly-three year old daughter. She is 92cm bundle of energy and light, who is full of wonder and excitement wanting to learn everything, help with everything, and taste everything. I don’t stop till I pass out around midnight every night. If there’s a deadline I have to hit, my supportive husband wakes me after an hour’s nap and herds me back to the office where a strong cup of coffee sits steaming on my desk. He stays up with me till I’m done to make sure I hit the deadline.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could change the perception of working mothers? Wouldn’t it be great if we could show the business community the following traits that make us great mothers and great employees?

These are skills we use every day as mothers, and they translate beautifully into the workplace.

So working mom’s hold your heads high, 31% of South African companies are smart enough to recognise the talents we bring to the table. Let’s show the other 69% what we’re made of.

Copyright © 2011 Lindsay Grubb

by Sine Thieme, a writer and mother of four who is new to South Africa and busy chronicling her experiences on her blog, Joburg Expat.

An excellent half-day family excursion from Joburg is a visit at the Ann van Dyk Cheetah Centre near Hartbeespoort Dam. I recently toured it with my kids, and not only did we come home with many new impressions and facts to digest, we are now the proud adoptive parents of a young cheetah named Valiant! We didn’t exactly bring him home, but instead paid a “silver level” adoption to pay for part of his food and medical care.

De Wildt is actually not only dedicated to breeding and studying cheetahs, but a whole host of other endangered animals. In addition to petting a cheetah (no doubt the highlight for the kids) we got to observe the feeding of wild dogs and drove by cages of vultures, hyenas, honey badgers, caracals, and African wild cats, as well as some free-roaming ostriches and impalas. If you get there at 8:00 in the morning, you can also watch the cheetahs run.

Here are some of the facts we learned:

Here’s valiant our adopted cheetah:

If you’re interested in a tour of the De Wildt, you should call ahead (012 504 9906) or go online to make a booking.

by Joy Robyn Dembo, married, with an 18 year old son and a 25 year old daughter.  Addicted to the www, particularly Twitter. Recruitment Response Handling Consultant and Freelance Copywriter, vegetarian and animal lover.  Here’s her blog.

I remember my dad taking me to see the John Wayne/Kim Derby version of True Grit in the late sixties.  My mom didn’t do westerns so I was the lucky winner of a ticket to the Cowboys and Indians offerings of the sixties.

Strangely enough, I LOVED True Grit and still remember the movie, even though it was over 30 years ago.  So, of course, I eagerly awaited the Coen Bothers remake of this classic, and needless to say, I was not disappointed.

Set in the 1870’s, in Frontier America, Charles Portis’ tale is narrated by Mattie Ross (played by fabulous newcomer Hayley Steinfeld).  The feisty 14-year old arrives in Fort Smith, Arkansas, to collect her murdered father’s belongings.  She is also determined to see her father’s killer, Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin) brought to justice.

Mattie hires the notoriously ruthless US Marshal, Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), to help her hunt Chaney down, and insists on accompanying the drunken, trigger happy, “rough around the edges” Cogburn, despite his best efforts to dissuade her.

Already on the trail of Chaney is a Texas Ranger, LaBoeuf (pronounced La Beef) (played by Matt Damon), and Cogburn and Mattie’s path crosses LaBoeuf’s on the trail, into Indian Country. All three are determined, courageous and outspoken and the result is a sometimes sad, but more often hilarious story!

Mattie’s unrelenting spirit and her innocent, yet insolent character will definitely charm young and old alike.  And, Bridges Oscar Nomination performance, and Damon’s good looks and brilliant portrayal of LeBouef make this movie an absolute must see.

Today’s teens will probably say “Thank goodness we were not born in the American Frontier in the 1870s”, and appreciate the high tech world they have been raised in even more!

Age restrictions:  From 13yrs. There’s a lot of skiet, skop en donner , (typical Western style) and some gruesome, bloody stuff (also typical Western stuff) but no sex, nudity or bad language.

by Erin Ismay, art lover and creative enthusiast, venturing into the world of business running art and craft parties for kids,  loves travel, photography and spending time with her hubby! She’s also the owner of  pop art parties

I know how anxious moms can get when their kids are at home over holidays or weekends and they have run out of options to keep their kids entertained!  Doing something arty is such a wonderful way to keep children entertained, whilst also stimulating their brains and creativity! You can also join in the fun if you wish!

Tissue Paper Painting is so much fun to do and your kids will love watching the colours bleed into each other as you go!

Here is what you will need.

A few sheets of white tissue paper
Any water based paints like powder or acrylic
A flat surface preferably covered with newspaper or plastic table cloth
Water and container
Large soft paintbrush or sponge brush
Scissors
Glue
A4 sheets of paper preferably 140gsm thick.
A container to mix your paint in, I used an ice cube tray, otherwise use a palette if you have one.

Step 1: choose the colours you would like to use and put a small amount of paint into the container, add a few drops of water making the paint very runny.

Step 2: Lay out your tissue paper with shiny side facing up, now you can start dabbing paint onto the tissue paper being careful to be gentle otherwise the tissue paper will tear, you can even dip your brush in water to drop water onto the paint to get a bleeding effect. As you add on more colours you will see how they bleed into each other creating a beautiful marbled effect.

Step 3: Once you have finished painting your whole sheet of tissue paper, leave it to dry. If you are working outside, be careful to secure the tissue paper down as it will easily blow away and then tear and stick together. Once it is dry it will be quite firm.

Step 4: Now that you have your own beautiful colourful creation of tissue paper you can use it to make some lovely cards. This will keep the kids busy! They can cut out/trace shapes to cut out from the tissue paper and stick them onto the card paper and make personalised cards for friends and family!

by Pippa  Rix, mother of 2 (Kayla, 15 and Keaton, 9), avid reader, enthusiastic baker, hopeless perfectionist &  passionate freelance writer specializing in online content pertaining to kids, pregnancy, lifestyle & business start-ups. Visit her website .

Parties are supposed to be fun, aren’t they?  That’s the point of them… I’m sure of it!

This being the case, I have to wonder why it took me 11 years of life-shortening panic to realise that I was allowing a child’s birthday party to turn me inside out from sheer stress.

Without even knowing it, my usually placid demeanour  would, during the days leading up to the big bash, morph into a mood that She Hulk would be proud of. Clenched teeth, pulsing neck veins, disturbing green colour, angry guttural growl – that kind of thing.

And so it was that I found myself at 1:30 on the morning of Kayla’s 11th birthday, making personalised party packs (not just any party packs… no, no, these were being watercoloured by my own very tired and irritable hand).

The Picasso-esque party packs were taking much longer than I had planned, but seeing as I had to stay up for another hour so that I could take the toadstool-shaped meringues out of the oven – well, I should be productive during the wait, not so? Besides, I still had to ice the cake, wrap the birthday gifts, design the thank-you cards, decorate the garage, fill the profiteroles…

I burst into tears.  Which added (not in a favourable way, I’ll tell you that for free) a whole new dimension to the watercolour effect. Paint ran in, patience ran out, blood pressure ran up and tears ran down.

I was a mess. The whole situation was a mess. And that’s when I realised:

This.

Is.

Ridiculous.

And it is.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? Don’t we realise that the birthday girl and her guests – no matter how spoilt, jaded or sassy – simply do not care if the cake is homemade, or that the wooden party favours are hand-carved, or that (shoo, wow, incredible!) the goodie boxes are hand-painted?

There and then, I decided that I would take it easy from the next party forward – take the pressure off myself, take time to enjoy the party and (what a concept!) take hundreds of photos of my happy, smiling daughter enjoying this never-to-be-repeated, special day.

The sad fact is, we bend over backwards to be the perfect party hostess. And for whom? Usually, not for our child, but rather for the other children’s parents.  We want to be Bree van der Kamp – clutching a basket of homemade muffins with manicured hands – so that other parents­ think we’re Wonder Woman.  Well, out with that notion, and in with:

-          Keeping food, décor and accessories simple

-          Not leaving everything to the last minute

-          Hiring someone if you have the budget (a party planner is a godsend)

-          Asking friends and relatives for help (make sure you’re in some of the photos too)

-          Enjoying the day on the day, and not just in retrospect

After all, it’s meant to be a Happy Birthday.

by Minette Tonoli, mom to 2 gorgeous girls  (4 + 9mnths), passionate homeschooler and herb lover. Owner of herbs on line

I’m often asked which (medicinal) herbs and essential oils a household should not be without and if you have children; my answer is without a question: Lavender Pure Essential Oil and Aloe Vera (Aloe vera syn.  Aloe barbadensis) or even our own indigenous Bulbine (Bulbinella frutescens). If you want to expand on this must-have list, add Calendula Salve (Calendula officinalis) and Tea Tree Oil.

Aloe vera and Bulbine sap are excellent at soothing stings and insect bites and can also be used for burns, including sunburn. If at all possible, slit open the leaf and place gel side down on the affected part without discarding the outer leaf “peel” and secure. Re-do this dressing with new, and if you wish, refrigerator-cooled aloe leaves when needed. You’ll be amazed at how well Aloe works to heal and renew skin – it is rich in anti-oxidant vitamins and minerals and stimulates cellular metabolism.

Lavender pure essential oil is not only beautifully calming and soothing, as can be witnessed by the barrage of lavender scented baby products on the market, but it also has antiseptic and analgesic properties. It prevents infection, promotes healing and reduces scarring. It is the only essential oil that can be applied to the skin neat and is considered the safest essential oil to use with children. Simply add a drop or two to a scrape, burn, sting or bite to alleviate the swelling, pain, redness and itchiness. If necessary, you can repeat application every fifteen minutes.

Calendula cream is a well-known for nappy rash, but it is indispensible for all manner of topical problems. It decreases inflammation and swellings and is soothing to burns, sunburn, rashes and skin irritations as well as greatly reducing the symptoms of insect bites and stings. It has antibacterial and antifungal properties.

Tea tree is analgesic, antiseptic, antifungal and antibacterial. It reduces scarring and can be applied to skin infections, burns, scrapes, insect bites and stings. It can be applied to the skin in a salve or diluted with a carrier oil (e.g. grapeseed oil, almond oil or avocado oil). Although it is non-irritant to most skin types and have been known to be used neat, it is not commonly recommended to do so.

My daughter already knows about bulbine and aloe and I often find her smearing the sap on little scrapes or itchy mozzi bites. I think it is very empowering for her to be able to do something for her small ouchies all by herself.

Bee and Wasp Stings
An interesting bit of information I learnt the other day – a bee’s sting is acidic and need something alkaline to counter it, so remember Bicarbonate for Bees. Wasp stings on the other hand are apparently alkaline and you need to add something like apple cider vinegar to it.

Wasp and Bee stingsBe watchful of insect bites which don’t get any better, or which seem very red or swollen. Also use common sense with burns and don’t take chances – there are some great first-aid burn kits available out there!

Please note this information is subject to our general disclaimer which can be found on http://herbsonline.co.za/

by Minette Tonoli, mom to 2 gorgeous girls  (4 + 9mnths), passionate homeschooler and herb lover. Owner of herbs on line

It was a question that I battled with, as every mom does, when my daughter was almost three. All the little people who were friends of my daughter were starting going to school and the parents seemed well pleased with it, so I thought it should be something that I should start looking into. And I did. I searched and researched playgroups and creches in my area and even a few recommended ones a little further afield. I decided to go have a look at my shortlist of schools and think I visited 10 in the end. I was not happy. I also could not understand why I was not happy. If asked, I could not give a single clear-cut answer of why I thought a particular school was a “no”. They all seemed, well, as good as advertised. Eventually I did send her to a nice little school, but after a week and a bit and the change I witnessed in my child, I was not happy.

Long story short, I decided to homeschool (“unschool”) my daughter and we’ve had tremendous fun the last two and a half years. She socializes plenty with children her own age, and also gets to spend time with children in different age groups – her best little buddy is a boy younger than her while her favourite cousin to play with is a girl a couple years older. She also engages in extra mural activities (swimming, music, gymnastics and library story time) which further ensures she gets adequate mingling time with other kids. That is all besides the play dates that she regularly has. And of course, chatting to me and Daddy and other grown-ups is also an important social skill to learn. She also has plenty of me-time, to have her space and sort out her thoughts and ideas and spends time away from me and has grown quite independent in many instances.

I don’t simply do school at home, to me that is not at all what homeschooling is about. I get led by my daughter’s interests and her advancement and use life and living as our classroom. We don’t follow a particular curriculum and don’t adhere to “school times”. When an opportunity presents itself for learning (and they constantly do), we engage it.

She is doing spectacularly well, without any pushing and prodding from me, and is in most instances far ahead with developmental milestones. I cannot attribute that to homeschooling alone though, I think she just is a bright little spark in any case (which makes it even more challenging for me to ensure her eager mind gets all it needs).

After investigating homeschooling, and practicing it for two and a half years, I can very confidently say that I have made the right choice for us. I have my reasons for continuing homeschooling and that could probably fill a whole booklet, so I won’t go into the particulars here. Suffice to say that the words to the song “Logical” by the group Supertramps pretty much sums it up.

Anyway, my point is that whether you should send your child to school at 9 months, 18 months, 2 years or 3 years, should maybe not be the only question – perhaps you should think whether you want to send your child to school at all.

by Robyn Hobson, who works in digital, dreams of acting, makes incredible lame jokes & 1st impressions. Scared of spiders! Loves Kings of Leon, Tanzanite, Cricket & French Bulldogs . Find her on twitter or visit her website

I won’t sit here and attempt to write about your virtues. I wouldn’t wish that task on anyone. Because even the most skilled writer is going to struggle. The words don’t seem to do you justice really.

I was too young. I didn’t understand the enormity of what we were going through back then. I remember people being scared. And confused.

I remember this man.

You, this ray of hope.

You were going to lead us down this road. And we were going to follow you.

Like the smell of SPF20, Timothy Traddle and Mnet Open Time. You really were a part of me growing up. You’re tightly woven into the heartbeat of my South Africa. It wouldn’t make sense without you. I mean, the soccer World Cup only felt real once you showed up.

You know… there’s not a heart in this country that you haven’t touched.

I like knowing you’re around.

Like a grandfather, sitting on the stoep. Keeping an eye on all us unruly, neighbourhood kids. Smiling when we get on. Worrying when we fall and scrape our hands and quietly scolding us when we trip each other up.

I know you won’t see this. And I know it doesn’t really matter what some 23 year old girl in Cape Town thinks. I know you don’t need my approval. You don’t need me to say well done. You’ve done us proud. You deserve a break and you’ve done all that we asked and more.

It’s just that I sat in my car yesterday and heard you’re in hospital. I know it’s just routine tests. But my heart dropped. I told my friend that I’d cry buckets if something happened. She said she would as well. We’re softies this way.

Although when it comes to you. I think everyone’s just a giant marshmallow inside.

And maybe this post is a bit silly. But I realised that I had to ask.

I have one more favour Madiba.

Yes. It’s a selfish one.

But I want my grand-kids to see you. I don’t want to have to try and explain all that you are and all that you mean to us, out of the pages of some history book.

I’d actually just like it, if you could live forever.

Robs