Archive for March, 2011

By Nicolas Callegari , on the one hand – writer, gamer, full-time sci-fi geek, and future rock star.  On the other – first time dad, stumbling his way through parenthood one lesson at a time.  Visit his blog

Crying is probably the number-one thing that scares men away from kids.  If you’re anything like me, you just come near a child and the tears start rolling.

It’s the one thing that can make you hate being alive and feel like a complete failure as a parent.  But reality check, it’s inevitable if you are or are planning to be a parent so you need to know what it’s all about and how you can de-code what your baby is trying to tell you.

Unfortunately, babies aren’t born with the ability to articulate what he or she needs, so every word that comes out of their mouths will sound something like this: “WWWAAAAAAAAA!”

Not ideal.  Especially when there’s a list of things it could be and you have no clue how to identify any of them.

Over the first few weeks of my son’s life, my wife and I managed to whittle the reasons for crying down to a list of four things.  I can confidently say that any time my kid decided to bleat like a little goat (I’m not lying, that’s what it used to sound like), we’d use the process of elimination:

There are other reasons that babies cry, like being too hot or cold, being sick, or just plain bored, but in most cases, we found that one of the four listed above were the cause of the commotion.

The hardest part about crying is letting your baby cry for a while so you can figure out what type of cry it is.

No, I’m not heartless, letting babies cry serves lots of purposes.  Most importantly, crying allows you to learning your baby’s cry-pattern or cry-disposition.

A cry-pattern is a very distinct pattern to how your baby cries when he or she is hungry, or uncomfortable.

Parents who have learnt their baby’s cry-pattern will easily be able to have a listen and predict what is wrong and if when the cry will end.

But to learn your baby’s cry-pattern you have to let your baby cry…sometimes for up to 45 minutes.  And it’s the most heart-breaking thing in the world, but after a few days you’ll be able to tell if baby’s hungry, attention mongering, or being attacked by the Tokoloshi.

HIGH FIVE for progress!

by Jude Foulston,  new mom, wife, entrepreneur,  friend and crafter who’s loving the challenge of trying to  keep it all together on a daily basis. She works for  TomorrowToday and is  the creator of Jamtin– an online directory for all things handmade.

I realize that there are situations where it’s convenient for kids to have cell phones but we must remember that with this convenience comes responsibility. Does the convenience of having a cell phone positively out weigh the risks that phones expose these kids to?

“When you hand kids phones today, you’re giving them powerful communications and production tools. They can create text, images, and videos that can be widely distributed and uploaded to Web sites. They can broadcast their status and their location. They can download just about everything in the world. If you think your children’s technological savvy is greater than their ability to use it wisely, pay attention to the gap. Times may have changed, but parenting hasn’t. We’re still the parents. And it’s our job to say “no, not yet.”  (Source: http://www.commonsensemedia.org.)

I do think it’s important to ask what the phone is being used for – if it is to have contact with a handful of people then are you limiting the airtime per month, and checking their internet access? If it’s going to be used as a gaming platform then certainly limit airtime and make it known that the phone is meant as a gaming platform and nothing else. There’s no taking back the experience when your 11 year old is exposed to completely unsuitable adult content via his phone, so whatever the reason, make sure these rules are adhered to and that you are comfortable enough with the handset so that you can monitor the activity on the phone on a regular basis.

Speaking of Adult Content Management – did you know that Facebook has an age limit of 13 years? According to recent SA research, 50% of the Generation Y that were interviewed (average age of 18) use Facebook as a search engine. What you use Facebook for and what your 13 year old use it for could be two different scenarios.

Which leads me onto the next question – perhaps the question isn’t whether your kids are ready for the responsibility that being exposed to the internet brings, but more importantly is how are you teaching your children to interact in this space? What responsibility are you, the parent, taking on? Yes, at times it seems that technology is part of these kids DNA and it’s hard to believe you can teach them new stuff in this space, but just as you would teach your children how to interact on a social level, not to speak to strangers, etc, you should also be teaching kids the same principles in the online space.

Connect with your kids here, teach them, get comfortable in their space. Beat them at their own games, and hopefully with more knowledge and information sharing between families the technology and content that is out there won’t be so scary for all of us.

by Karen Dyke who works in advertising in Johannesburg, is married to a Clinical Psychologist and has 2 remarkably well-adjusted children. She has survived mothering teenagers. This may or may not be due to said Clinical Psychologist’s fabulous skills.  Visit her blog

I remember the first time I saw the video “Shift happens” and the enormous impact it had on me and how I thought about my children’s future. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favour – the line about China having more honors kids than America has kids, puts things into perspective.

So what does this have to do with the latest MXit scare, or Facebook suicide?  How concerned should we be about our kids’ access to social media?

When my kids were little the debate was around how bad television would be for their development. They would become psychopathic overweight hermits, lacking in basic social skills if I allowed them to watch more than x supervised minutes a day. The scare-mongers who spoke about satanic music when I was a teenager now had their narrow minds firmly fixed on the evil box.

Before that it was about the dangers of letting your kids read comics instead of pre-approved literary masterpieces. Or listen to the evil radio under the covers at night. Or play pop music. Or educating your daughters.

The point is that the world changes. We grow up in a certain way and then look back in fondness at the freedom we enjoyed. We forget about the downside – like institutionalized corporal punishment masquerading as discipline in schools. With change comes fear and a desire to control our children’s lives as much as possible. Protect them from what we ourselves don’t understand.

Because I grew up in Zambia I had access to television. I watched cartoons, but I also watched the moon landing. So TV was not a new-fangled concept capable of damaging their fragile little minds. In the beginning I watched with them, explaining things that I thought needed explanation. As they grew they needed less supervision. Much like going to friends’ birthday parties or playing on the jungle gym.

The bottom line is always going to be how you manage their access and how you empower them to deal with potentially harmful situations. The key is age-appropriate access and yes, it is a pain in the neck to supervise and manage, just like car seats and seatbelts.

As they grow older they learn about the dangers (from you, hopefully) but also the fun. I “friended” my children on Facebook early on – I didn’t understand it, but wanted to see what it was about.  I contacted Mxit and spoke to them – they had really good tips for parents and answered numerous questions. I’m still friends with them on Facebook; I’m friends with some of their friends too. Sometimes I chat to them about their online profiles and the potential harm they could do themselves with inappropriate comments, photos or postings. But mostly I feel privileged to be part of their lives. I try to keep an open mind about what they post – the times they are indeed a-changing.

There be dragons out there and they will use new channels. The raincoated-paedophile with the sweets in the park hasn’t gone away. Best we teach our children well.

by Lindsay Grubb, wife & mom to a nearly 3 yr old daughter and owner of L Communications where she helps you get the right message across to the right audience. Follow her on Twitter and LinkedIn

A few weeks ago I had a major deadline. It was 10pm and I still had to write a 2800 word article that night. Ciara didn’t want to go to sleep. I pulled out my laptop and sat on my bed, trying to work while she entertained herself, waiting for her to fall asleep. My plan failed. She became excited and rushed off to fetch her laptop and her “homework” book. She then proceeded to work next to mommy, but it’s hard to write when you have “Mary had a Little Lamb”, playing over and over through her laptop and your head.

At almost three, she knows what a cell phone is and comes running with it when it rings so I can answer it.

Yesterday she told me to put down my phone and play with her. It made me realise how addicted I have become to technology, even outside working hours.

What are we teaching our children? It is true, that in this age of information, it has become critical to teach our young ones computer literacy. They need to know how to use MS Office, email and the internet, but are our children losing out on the carefree childhood we experienced?  As a child I spent all my time outside, playing with my friends, riding my bike, climbing trees and jungle gyms, scraping my knees more than once.  Isn’t that something we should be encouraging in our children?

In a world where technology is progressing rapidly, and the majority of children know more than we do about computers, cell phones, iPods, Nintendo’s and Playstation’s, how do we know when it’s the right time to introduce technology to our children?

There really is no right or wrong answer here. I think it’s a case of balance. It’s necessary to have our children prepared, but we need to help them to embrace their spirit of adventure and encourage a vivid imagination.

In South Africa our children are scoring a C- on their “Healthy Kids Report Card”. One in three children watches more than three hours of TV per day. Our children are at risk to predators on their cell phones on programmes MXit, and they’re putting out too much personal information on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

I think a good time to introduce technology to our children, is when they have a clear understanding of the responsibility and consequences linked to its usage. Online consensus through a number of different articles on the topic seems to be that eight years old is a safe time, but this means they’re not computer literate when they go to school, which seems necessary these days, so I’m not entirely sure.

What do you think is the best age for introducing your children to technology and should we be leading by example and limiting our usage or is it more of a “do as I say and not as I do” situation?

Copyright © Lindsay Grubb 2011 – All rights reserved

by Erin Ismay, art lover and creative enthusiast, venturing into the world of business running art and craft parties for kids,  loves travel, photography and spending time with her hubby! She’s also the owner of  pop art parties

I know this is something the little fashionistas out there will just LOVE! This is also a great idea for a fashion themed birthday party! You can really let your creativity and individuality go wild with this one and it’s just so cute! You could start your own fashion diary or file.

You will need:

A few A4 print outs of this template (insert link to picture template)
Any scraps of wrapping paper, material, paper, glitter, embellishments etc
Glue
Scissors
Pencil
Glitter glue (optional but great for some added bling)

Step 1:

Cut out one figure that you can use as your template when designing clothes to get the right shapes.

To print – right click on template, select save image, save and print

Step 2:

Use the template to trace out the shape of the outfit you want onto the paper/material that you are using and then you can easily cut it out.

Step 3:

Glue down your clothes and add whatever you want such as glitter glue, beads and sequins. You can go as wild as you like with your outfits and colour in features of the figure. The options are endless.

For a party you could get the girls to do 3 categories of design such as casual wear, party wear and formal wear as shown above. Then they can have a competition to see who did the best design of each category! How fun!

by Fiona Ingram, a  South African writer who loves books, travel, animals, antiques, and adventures of all kinds! Read Fiona’s author site and find out about her recently published children’s adventure novel

Bieber fever is about to hit the big screen in South Africa with “Never Say Never” the biopic of teen singing sensation Justin Bieber. Never Say Never is the inspiring true story and rare inside look at Justin’s rise from street performer in the small town of Stratford, Ontario to internet phenomenon to global super star culminating with a dream sold out show at the famed Madison Square Garden in 3-D.

But as the movie unfolds, viewers will be surprised to see how hard Justin worked to get where he is. The movie opens with interviews of Justin’s family and friends, interspersed with snippets of his roadshow and various gigs. All this is intermingled with pieces leading up to the amazing sell-out performance in Madison Square Gardens. To indicate how popular he is, Justin’s show sold out in a record twenty minutes!

What makes Justin so popular? Young fans interviewed in the movie say it all: his looks, his smile, his hair (oh, sadly he now has a new haircut), his laugh, his songs, his … well, what’s not to like? He is a talented likeable performer who works hard and who projects a wholesome image. It’s not just about looks and a winning smile though. Viewers get to see footage of Justin performing on the drums when he was only two bricks high and – wow – that kid is good! Justin sings and plays drums, guitar and piano. He is one talented boy! Justin’s appeal cuts across all ages and genders: from little ones to tweens, to teens, to adults. Everyone loves his lyrics and music. Oh, one important note – lots of girls who want to marry him as well!!!!

The background to Justin’s success is fascinating and it’s nice to see he has retained a down-to-earth attitude, possibly the result of good basic grounding and a supportive family. Fame has its downside though, as Justin finds out when he asks when he can have a ‘normal’ life. “Welcome to the new normal,” says his voice coach. On the upside, Justin has a lot of fun because he loves performing and being surrounded by people who love him makes it even better.

The highlight of the movie is, of course, the Madison Square Garden show. It’s simply fantastic, and the 3-D element will give young fans a show to remember. Justin performs with another popular young rising star, Jaden Smith. Justin and Jaden rap their hearts out to the screaming applause of what looks like zillions of fans! Miley Cyrus also appears in a duet with Justin. The title of the film links to Justin’s seemingly impossible dream: to sing at Madison Square Garden. He never said never to his dream and achieved it. His message to young fans is the same – go for your dream and “never say never!”

by Joy Robyn Dembo, married, with an 18 year old son and a 25 year old daughter.  Addicted to the www, particularly Twitter. Recruitment Response Handling Consultant and Freelance Copywriter, vegetarian and animal lover. Visit her blog.

There are no words to describe how much I didn’t want to see this movie and there aren’t enough words to describe how much I actually enjoyed it!

Directed by John Chu,  this 3D movie,  documenting Justin Bieber’s  “rags to riches” story is fun,  inspiring and entertaining.

Chu “jumped at the opportunity to tell this story with honesty and heart”, and in my opinion, he has succeed admirably.

The first time I heard the name Justin Bieber was when he was featured as a guest performer on the finale of American Idol, in 2010.  I asked my kids who Justin was and why he was considered such a phenomenon and they replied that he was discovered on YouTube. I shrugged and mentally dismissed him until his name, annoyingly, became an on-going global trending topic on Twitter.

Thus, it was with reluctance that I consented to reviewing this movie.

Now, knowing the full story of the 17 year old’ s meteoric rise to fame, I am proud (or embarrassed) to say that I am a mother of a 27 year old daughter and a 19 year old son who think it is hysterically funny that mom has a terminal dose of “Bieber Fever”.

The documentary traces the young Canadian’s life from birth up to his sell out concert at Madison Square Gardens, sharing a stage with legends such as Usher, Boyz II Men and Sean Kingston.

The movie introduces single mom, Patti, who as a teenager, raised him, with the help of her parents. Justin showed musical talent from an early age and some of the old home video footage of Justin singing and playing drums are adorable! Justin is very believable when he says he never wanted to be famous, and only put the videos on YouTube for friends and family because he liked doing it.  Fame wasn’t a dream of his because he really didn’t think it would happen.

But it did, and the rest is history! The YouTube videos were viewed millions of times, and when American, Scooter Braun, saw them,  he was truly “wowed”! Braun introduced Justin to Usher, which led to a recording contract with Island Def Jam Music Group, under three-times Grammy-winning recording executive,  L.A. Reid.

The film includes clips of his “tweenie” fans professing undying love for Justin, fan hysteria, reminiscent of the “Beatle Mania” of the 60’s, preparation for his concert tour, real time banter with his stylist, managers, voice coach etc, and culminates in the concert of concerts at MSG. Following in the footsteps of  the world’s greatest entertainers, including Michael Jackson, The Police, John Lennon, The Rolling Stones and U2  Justin sold out the Garden in 22 minutes!

His battle with vocal fatigue, hectic rehearsals, meetings with other performers and leisure time with friends and family were all filmed for this movie, making it a real “behind the scenes” experience.

The music is mind blowing and I still have the “Never Say Never” lyrics going around in my head like a broken recording!

Obviously the Tweenies will go “ape” for this movie, but moms and dads, I defy you not to enjoy it!

Great family fun and proof positive that miracles can happen. Remember,  NEVER SAY NEVER!

by Lindsay Grubb, wife & mom to a nearly 3 yr old daughter and owner of L Communications where she helps you get the right message across to the right audience. Follow her on Twitter and LinkedIn

My daughter will eat anything you put in front of her with no arguments. She adores vegetables, happily munches away on broccoli, cauliflower, snap peas and carrots. My friends,(who sneakily try to blend vegetables and hide them in bolognaise sauces and stews), sit dumbstruck as she polishes off a big plate of salad at our weekend braais.

She is happiest when she’s running round the garden, treating us to a game drive, pointing out the animals in her imaginary zoo. At nearly three, she understands the importance of sunscreen and wearing hats, and why she has to stay out of the fenced pool area unless she’s with mom and dad. She is delighted when I carry her candy-pink plastic table and chairs outside, and layout the recycled purity bottle lids and fill them with paint so she can get her fingers and paint brushes busy on our recycled office paper.

None of these things have been particularly conscious steps we’ve taken in her upbringing, they just evolved naturally. I suppose we draw on our own personal memories of growing up as a guide for how we should be raising our children.

I was saddened to hear that as a nation we received a C- on the Healthy Active Kids Report Card for 2010.

The study showed that:

While the study focused on children of school going age, and discussed the steps being taken at government and private sector level to improve on the situation, it failed to address the most important time in a child’s life, those important formative years where impressions and habits are formed. As parents we should all be asking ourselves how we can make sure our children receive an A+ on their healthy kids’ report cards instead of a C-.

Perhaps if we all start working on this earlier, during those early formative years, it will help to improve the nation’s overall rating too.

Copyright © Lindsay Grubb 2011 – All rights reserved

By Sholain Govender-Bateman , Pretoria based journalism lecturer who worked for The Star, Pretoria & other  publications. She is mum to two gorgeous girls, Isobel and Aishwari, and wife to Barry. Follow her on Twitter @sholain

I am often confused when a parent complains about the poor eating habits of their child but doesn’t realise that the problem is usually their own eating habits.

Be honest now, how many times have you placed a plate of veggies and all things wholesome in front of your toddler for supper and then you’ve sat down with a meal that has the complete opposite amount of nutrition?

We have a profound influence on our children’s personalities and habits and even though their menus differ from ours for the large part of the first year of their lives, it is important to soon meld the kiddies and adult menu to provide a meal that will suit the tastebuds, development and health of all family members.

In our household, we managed to introduce our toddler(almost 3 years old), Isobel, to just about every food there is from sushi to salads, beetroot to braaivleis. I’m a huge fan of the ‘Baby Sense’ and ‘What to expect’ series of books so I used those as guidelines when introducing her to solids but we also realised that the only way we could really get her to eat something was if we ate it ourselves.

We let her play with her food and encouraged her to eat without stressing if she refused a meal from time to time or threw her food-tray on the floor. It was a wonderful and hugely rewarding experience as we now can sit at the dinner table with her and enjoy a meal together most evenings – being flexible to allow for the mid-meal wanderings of a toddler.

Isobel’s fond of veggies but not at all keen on raw tomatoes – and guess what… neither am I. She loves tinned tuna and pilchards but steers clear of prawns when daddy is around – could it be because dad never touches them because of his shellfish allergy?  She has a penchant for raw onions and can handle spicy food – is it just a coincidence that I love onion and dad orders ‘extra hot’? I don’t think so.

It may seem obvious but sometimes we try so hard to make our kids eat the ‘right’ things with no luck and just don’t see that they are just copying us most of the time…

Many ‘lazy’ parents will simply say, “I grew up drinking Coke/ eating junk food every day/ I’ve always hated vegetables…” etc… “…and I’m still alive.” And some of these families may have excellent genes that carry no risk for heart disease, obesity, high cholesterol and the numerous other silent diseases that plague millions of people. But isn’t a change in your attitude to food worth it if it’s going to help you mould your child into a healthy eater and an overall happy being?

By Christine Phillips, mother of 3. Loves spending time with her family and enjoys the fulfilment of running her own business. She is the owner of Little Cooks Club.

I don’t know about you but I find that as my children get older, their days have become filled with more activities, responsibilities and homework.

I can definitely see my kids begin to flag around 2pm if they haven’t eaten well up until that point in the day. I know a lot of children who, at the age of 10 are already doing sports activities that run until 6 or 7 at night during the week.

We, as parents, need to be sure that we are providing our children’s bodies with enough fuel to sustain this kind of energy output.

How to begin?

A good breakfast

Remember to start slowly with any changes to children’s food routines as they can be resistant  if the change is too drastic.

Next, let’s tackle the packed  school lunches.

Now that you have your perfect lunchbox, what to pack?

With a bit of planning, you could save yourself the cost of expensive shop bought sandwiches and snacks and avoid the temptation of packing chips, sweets and other high calorie, no good food into your children’s lunchboxes.

Little Cooks Club runs classes for moms that include ideas for simple, healthy weeknight suppers and more ideas and recipes for snacks and lunchboxes.