Archive for May, 2011

William Bird is director of Media Monitoring Africa an Ashoka and Linc fellow.  He has been monitoring the media for 16 years working on children and media issues for 12.  He recently presented at the 12th South African Professional Society on the Abuse of Children (SAPSAC) Conference on Online Victimisation of Children. William is also the father of two young boys.

We live in a world that is radically different to the world we grew up in, more so if you’re over the age of 30.  I’m not talking about all the changes in technology, or how our country has changed, I’m talking about the explosion of information we are exposed to and overloaded with.  One of the most disturbing effects of this overload is the likelihood that your child will be exposed to pornography and because most of us haven’t prepared them for it, they won’t know how to deal with it.

Why is your child likely to see pornography?

Extremely widespread access to social media chat rooms and to the internet via cell phones means that as parents it becomes increasingly difficult to regulate what our children access and when. Often they are exposed to sexual content accidentally via an MMS from a friend, an email, a link or on any of the social media sites.  Often such content is sent from other children.

When sex is forbidden and never discussed, but at the same time the messages conveyed via popular songs, music videos etc say its fun and stimulating, children’s curiosity can lead them to search for answers via a cell phone without anyone ever knowing. At some schools, we are aware that students often exchange addresses of porn sites with each other or in more extreme cases use their phones to film each other and then distribute these clips.

What can you do as a parent?

For younger children filters, passwords and adult supervision are highly recommended but with older kids  it ‘s much more complicated

Most children, 12yrs and older will know a nerd, who with a few instructive clicks can bypass any nanny security.  And on cell phones there is close to no protection at all. This age group needs to know how to distinguish what is appropriate and what isn’t.  They need critical media literacy skills, and to self regulate.   They also need parents who talk to them about sex and love and how pornography distorts what is real.

We need to explain that:

Parents who pretend it isn’t there or think children will never be exposed are just creating distance between their child’s reality and themselves.  The moment that distance gets bigger, children keep bigger secrets, the less communication the more remains unsaid and unknown and that is when children become more vulnerable to sexual exploitation.

One last thing you can do, is learn how to use a cell phone – beyond dial and sms, ask your child or have a tech party with your friends and invite a nerd.

Before I end off, I need to make three key points.  Exposing a child to porn is a criminal offence under the Film and Publications Act.  Also any porn that has any kind of portrayal of children engaged in sex is also a criminal offence.  So any of you who get your kicks watching children in porn – know that you are actively participating in child abuse.  Don’t do it.  If you know someone who is or has- report them to the police.  Thirdly, I think we are hopelessly behind in our policy and child protection in those instances where children are exposed to sexual content that they have not sought out but that is the subject of another article.

by Mandi  Holtshausen, entrepreneur, passionate homeschooling mom to 2 precious girls, visit her blog for a personal insight into their homeschooling  journey.  Follow her on twitter@HomeschoolingSA.   Click here for more information about homeschooling.

The internet is a wonderful source of education and entertainment for our children.  Learning can be fun with interactive games and puzzles covering mathematics, science, spelling and topics on the fascinating world around us.  Although, just like we need to protect our children from bad elements on TV, we need to be cautious and protect our children from the bad side of the Internet.  This can be achieved by installing a good family friendly filter like K9 Web Protection , which is free, on our computers.

Furthermore, we need to educate our children about how to use the internet in a safe manner; explaining the dangers that exist.   I heard of a situation where a young boy wanted to check his new email account and typed in the wrong address.  He typed “male” instead of “mail” and the images that popped up on the screen were of a pornographic nature. Now these images are embedded in his mind forever, there is no erasing it and what has been done is irreversible.  Children are naturally curious about the world around them and we need to focus that curiosity in the right direction.

Here is a brief list of websites that my children and I have found to be fun and educational at the same time:

www.kids.discovery.com Fun games, puzzles and activities about animals, myths, space etc.  Follow the link on this site called YUCKY and play whack-a-roach and find out gross and amazing info about your body.

www.worldmathsday.com A fantastic site where your child can play math related games.  On World Mathematics Day they can compete against children around the world. At the end of the event they receive a certificate for all their hard work of each year trying to break the world record.

www.worldspellingday.com This works on the same concept but with spelling games.  Speakers or headphones are needed.

www.kidshealth.com This site is friendly to kids, teens and parents.  It has information about how the body works with helpful advice.  A great homework helper.  They also have a newsletter to subscribe to.

www.nationalgeographic.com Fun facts and interactive games like “African Adventures” and “Plan it Green”.  They also have a section for much younger kids, puzzles, coloring book and interactive “Plant a Garden” and “Learn to Share”.

www.dltk-kids.com Fun printable children’s crafts, coloring pages and holiday projects.

Too much time on the Internet is not recommended. I believe that only an hour of television or computer time should be allowed every day. Children should play and the development of gross motor skills are just as important.

Please share fun educational sites you have found for your kids with us.

by Tanya Kovarsky, the editor of Living & Loving magazine, mom to Max, and a fan of running, baking, reading and iPads. Find her on Twitter (@TanyaKovarsky) or her blog.

For every word, comment, tweet, blog post and Facebook status I put out there, I consider that my son, who is only 20 months old and cannot say internet let alone type the word, could and might one day read what I’ve written. I’ve been tempted to swear a lot and slag people off, and complain and be rude on the internet. But then I ask myself if I’d be proud for my child to one day read what I’ve written, and that is the ultimate deciding factor before I hit the “send” button. And I don’t always get it right. A certain tweet of mine once got me in the bird poo, and it was a lesson that came with some tears but a resolution that I’d try not to do it again.

I sometimes watch bemused and shocked how moms slag off their partners, their kids, their teachers and their lives. I appreciate and love the fact that the web gives us freedom and a voice, but I think as parents we need to be cautious and set a fairly decent example. I don’t want my child to think it’s okay to  be malicious, impatient, intolerant and unable to confront people face to face, which is why I’ll do my best not to act like that not only in front of him, but through what I put out on the web. And you might argue that by the time my son can read, the tweets and Facebook comments will be long deleted into cyberspace, but I believe we leave big imprints on the way, and I’d rather err on the side of cyber caution (or neurosis, if you will). Either way, it’s a good exercise in guarding my tongue (or my finger), and remembering that good manners do start at home and from my work laptop, Macbook, iPad and iPhone.

Catch Merle from Jozikids.co.za on Amor Vittone’s show, every Sunday morning on Jacaranda FM to find out what to do with your kids and families.

We have some music concerts and child friendly museums to tell you about this week.

Internationally acclaimed female vocalist, Lira is performing at the Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens in Roodepoort  on Sunday from 12-6pm. kids under 13 are free and tickets  are R100pp.

Some museums that are open on Sundays and worth remembering if you don’t get there today.

The James Hall Museum of Transport in Rosettenville Johannesburg is a great family outing where children can look inside a fire engine, tram, trolley or bus. Once you’ve had enough inside the museum the kids can play on the jungle gym outside.  Entrance is free.

Then there’s Sci-Bono Discovery Centre is the most amazing interactive science and technology museum with a miniature Murray and Roberts construction site for the kids with builders hats, wheelbarrows and foam bricks. A conveyor built, crane.Once they get going its very hard to leave. There are also loads of fabulous experiments throughout this museum.  Its situated in Newtown and entry is R20 for adults and R10 for kids

The Transvaal museum is a  natural history museum in  Pretoria open 7 days a week from 9- 4pm, for kids from about 7 years. They currently have the bones of  2.5 million year old Mrs Ples on show. There’s quite a bit of  interaction in some of the exhibits. According to our reviewer The kids get to press buttons and lights shine up or noises are made. For her family,  the winner was the spitting cobra that spits out water – like a huge snake shaped water gun. Entrance fee also very reasonable at R20 adults and R10 for kids.

Then there’s the South African Ballet Theatre’s production of Romeo and Juliet on at the Johannesburg Civic’s Mandela Theatre. It started this week and will be on until June 19th. From Tuesday to Sunday . There’s a show today at 3pm today if you can still make it.

And finally for music enthusiasts who want their children to hear and see other kids playing classical music, the Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestras Junior Festival  with girls between the ages of 10 and 14yrs old  will take place at the Linder Auditorium on Wits Campus. The program includes a trumpet concerto, a recorder concerto, two violin concertos, four Piano concertos and a 12-year old Soprano!  3pm next Sunday and tickets cost R30 and R60.  I hope to be there with my kids.

Remember you can find more ideas of what to do with your family in the Gauteng region on Jozikids.co.za

Catch Merle from Jozikids.co.za on Jacaranda, every Sunday morning, to find out what to do with your kids and families.

This week we want to tell you about places you can take your family to see animals or go horse riding.

First up is Mystic Monkeys and Feathers Wildlife Park, near Warmbaths, Pretoria North. They claim to  host one of South Africa’s largest private Primate collections featuring 38 species, in addition to a large number of beautiful, exotic birds and predators such as White Lions, Bengal Tigers and Cheetahs. They are open until 4pm- adults R100, kids u/13yrs R50 , u/3yrs free. They offer guided tours, have a restaurant, sell picnic baskets plus 4 star luxurious accommodation if you want to spend the night.

Then there’s Ukutula Game Lodge and Lion Education Center conveniently situated within an hours drive from Johannesburg and Pretoria in the Brits area.  The game farm comprises 260 hectares of unspoilt bushveld boasting a variety of antelope species, giraffe and zebra. Tour Times: 8am & 4pm (for our lion walks) 10am & 2pm (for Lion Interaction Program)

Another fabulous family outing is visiting the Mapatiza Underground Gemstone Mine in Kyalami– you’ll see a a huge variety of African gemstones being cobbed, sorted and polished. Witness the outside mine-run, view colourful underground chambers and passages. There’s also a huge kiddies scratch patch  they’re open until 2pm daily and very reasonable at R30 for adults and R20 for kids including a free bag of gemstones for the kids to take home.

If its horse riding you want to do, whether it’s going on an outride or letting your kids ride a pony there’s Egoli Rangers in Craighall Park and near Muldersdrift, there’s Croc River Horse Trails where you can choose from a variety of horse trails , one of which takes you game viewing on horseback in the beautiful Glen Bourne Lodge game reserve .

Information about everything we have mentioned is available on www.jozikids.co.za

Angel Conradie loves her cellphone, camera and notebook; has 8 tattoos, 5 cats, 2 dogs and an ADHD son. She believes she is married to the most wonderful man, bakes for a living as The Cupcake Lady and blogs as Angel’s Mind.

Finding a school where your ADHD child will be successful depends largely on your child. Many ADHDers are capable of coping in a mainstream school if their treatment is successfully managed. Some ADHDers though, manage far better in a small, specialised school. If you are looking for a school like this, check that they are registered with the department of education and don’t assume that small classes and individual attention automatically mean they are equipped to help a child with ADHD and LD.

Once you find a school, the first thing to do is tell your child’s teacher he or she has been officially diagnosed with ADHD. So often we as parents don’t tell our ADHDers teacher about his or her diagnosis and treatment because we want to “see if she notices anything” first. Not telling your child’s teacher to try and prove a point, or to avoid the school “labelling” your child means that your ADHDer doesn’t benefit from concessions they are entitled to- like extra time in tests and exams- from day one!! And it’s unfair to the child and the teacher to expect them to fumble through several weeks of drama before telling the school what’s up. If your child was diabetic or asthmatic, not telling the school would not even occur to you! And it has been proven that children with ADHD have a worse quality of life than asthmatic children!

If the school knows early on that your child- who is most likely just one of several special needs children in his class- is neurologically-atypical, his teachers will be able to focus on him from day one. When it comes to special needs children, teachers need the parents’ help. They are a part of your treatment team and are often the first people to pick up that something is wrong.

The important thing to remember is that you want the teachers on your side, and you want them to know that when you enter their classroom you are respectful of their training AND you are your child’s advocate. It’s a tricky line to walk but if you prepare for meetings it is possible. Make notes before you go to the school, and take a notebook with you to meetings. Give the teacher a copy of your notes afterwards so you have something to follow up on when next you meet. And taking minutes in your parent-teacher meetings is immensely (and surprisingly) empowering! Give out your email address and contact numbers and stress that you are open to communication from the teacher.

And of course, speaking to the school from early on means you can ask for things like:

Be open to communication from the school and keep calm!

by Mandi  Holtshausen, entrepreneur, passionate homeschooling mom to 2 precious girls, visit her blog for a personal insight into their homeschooling  journey.  Follow her on twitter@HomeschoolingSA.   Click here for more information about homeschooling.

Here is an account of what homeschooling has done for our family.

Gone are the rushed mornings, the shouting in the early hours of “get dressed”, “eat your breakfast” and “have you got everything in your bag?”  I do still make sure that the girls are in bed on time, but they get to wake up when they are finished sleeping, which is early enough.  No grumpy tired faces, only smiles.  On a typical morning we all sit together around the breakfast table and talk to each other over breakfast – something that there was never time for in the past.  Quality time has brought each one of us closer together.  Then after washing and dressing we go upstairs and begin school.  The start of school is usually with a Bible reading and prayer – precious moments are when you hear the concerns, needs and love that come from your children’s heartfelt prayers.  Many of our lessons we do, in summer are under a tree outside.  The beauty of homeschooling is that you can do school pretty much anywhere, including a doctor’s waiting room, in the car, at Grannies dining room table and the botanical gardens.

Being more involved in my children’s education has me seeing learning opportunities wherever we go.  We stop on a wooden bridge to study the chrysalis of a butterfly and wonder what it will look like when it leaves.  We also do a lot of written work; English, Afrikaans, Mathematics and each hold their own challenges.  I must say that I have many “light bulb” moments as I “get it” the second time round!

I remember the days of fetching 2 exhausted children from school, getting into the car and listening to them take the days frustrations out on each other.  It is very seldom now that they have a disagreement, but never a fight.

We, as parents, have had our share of doubt aimed at us as a result of our choice to homeschool our children, even my ability to teach them.  Loving my children and wanting them to be the best they were created to be, gives me the drive and discipline it takes to making their education a success.  The change in my girls, the confidence they now show has been pleasantly surprising to many and their doubts are slipping away rapidly.

My children are no longer self-absorbed; they think of others and are compassionate and kind, always ready to lend a helping hand and really pleasant to be around.  I feel blessed as a mother and feel privileged to be able to spend this time of growth with my girls and not look back with regret at time that has gone by.

I realize that this decision is not for every family, but in the two and a half years that we have been homeschooling, the benefits have been immense and I encourage you to explore this option.

Catch Merle from Jozikids.co.za on Jacaranda FM with Amor Vittone, every Sunday morning, to find out what to do with your kids and families today and in the week ahead.

Here are a list of family friendly restaurants that are open today and will also be open on Election Day – a day you can still turn into a great family adventure.

In Johannesburg ,  there are 2 great child friendly Italian restaurants where kids can make their own pizzas Picolino’s in Fourways and Angelo’s Kitchen in Bryanston where you can also order healthy pizzas, even gluten free ones if you want.  In Melville, there’s Bambanani’s with great covered jungle gym and supervised activities for kids. You can sit by the fire if it’s cold outside, even work on your computer if you need to while your kids play outside under the watchful eyes of childminders.

In Heathway near Cresta Shopping Centre there’s a Mike’s Kitchen with a jungle gym in sand so your little one’s don’t hurt themselves and there are playstations for the older ones.

On the West Rand there’s Lemon Thyme with several wooden jungle gyms and if you want to head towards the Magaliesberg, near Hekpoort there’s Goblin’s Cove Fantasy Restaurant situated in a forest setting with goblins and gnomes, a kids sandpit and a painting corner.

In Pretoria,there’s the Cornish Kettle Teagarden in Irene and in Moreleta Park and Jingle Jangle Tea Garden  in Moreleta Park.

On the East Rand there’s Fahrenheit Seafood and Grill in Edenvale with a fantasy playground and wonderful food. They also have a branch in Benoni.

If you want to spend the day on the Vaal River – catch a barge, buffet, a restaurant that prides itself on being the biggest garden restaurant in the region you can visit Stonehaven on the Vaal

Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful family day tomorrow and I’ll be back with Merle from Jozikids next Sunday with ideas of what you can do with your kids next week.

by Merle Dieterich, passionate mom and businesswoman whose 2 beautiful children, Lerato and Marvin never cease to amaze and teach her about what counts. You’ll find her at  jozikids.co.za

My daughter recently turned 9 years old  and loves food, so the most obvious choice for a party was something we’d never tried before,  a pizza making party.  After checking out the extensive list of  companies which offer food related parties on Jozikids, we settled for A-Z Creative Entertainment and we were not disappointed.

An hour before the young guests arrived, Zelda arrived with her beautiful clay pizza oven plus tables, aprons, hats, boxes and fresh pizza dough!   By the time the friends arrived, everything was ready.

First, everyone stood in line to receive their chef’s hats and aprons.

Our garden was transformed into a sea of white hatted chefs rolling out dough.

Fresh tomato sauce and a variety of fillings were added.

My proud daughter was the first to pop her pizza in the oven

Each child received their own pizza box and the eating began

As if this wasn’t enough, and believe you me it was, Zelda had brought a long a Slush Puppy machine  to top it all off with.  Thank you Zelda for a fabulous,  memorable party.

by Angel Conradie ,  loves her  cellphone,  camera and  notebook. Has 8 tattoos, 5 cats and 2 dogs and an ADHD son,  believes she is married to the most wonderful man, bakes for a living  as The Cupcake Lady and blogs as Angel’s Mind

Up until my son was about 13 years old, I absolutely dreaded receiving invitations for him to attend a classmate’s birthday party.

Let’s face it, kids parties can be a veritable minefield of pseudo-politics and who-is-cooler-than-who. I was not much into mingling with people I didn’t already know though, so none of that worried me. What I worried about was leaving my ADHD son at a party, not so much as unsupervised as unprotected!

At one point after my son’s ADHD diagnosis and before we started medication we were trying a form of an exclusionary diet- no sugar, caffeine, colourants, trans-fats or preservatives, lots of green vegetables, lots of added vitamins and fish oils… Apart from the fact that my son was never a big eater and this diet made our lives miserable, it also meant that there was nothing he was “allowed” to eat if he went to a party. I eventually adopted the “everything in moderation” approach to food, but in that time often turned down invitations rather than have to lecture my son on what he could or couldn’t eat.

The thing is though, whilst the myth prevails that sugar makes kids hyperactive, countless studies have been done to show that this is in fact not the case. If there’s anything that can and does affect some children’s level of hyperactivity and attention it’s the artificial colourants and sweeteners! And the setting of a party with entertainment and noise laid on is going to give any child the impression is that- for the time being- excitement is not only okay but expected. Can you imagine little Johnny’s mom’s disappointment if the kids at her son’s party behaved the way they are expected to do in a classroom situation?!?

That aside, my son was painted with the naughty brush very early in his school career and I found- to my dismay- that he was being watched like a hawk, by parents and children alike, for the slightest sign of aberrant behaviour! Never mind the fact that he was at a kids party and surrounded by colour, noise, other excited children and all kinds of entertainment, he was not allowed to get excited or run or shout. If he did so, then he was hopped up on sugar and “obviously” hyperactive and out of control. It broke my heart that my son was the one expected to be calm and compliant no matter the surroundings.

I implore you and I challenge you as adults- whether you have children or not- that when you are next hosting or attending parties for children, you keep the setting in mind before you brand any child with the hyperactive label. When they’re at a party, you want them to be happy. You want them squealing with excitement at the petting zoo. You want them gasping at a magic act and volunteering to be disappeared. You want them laughing on a jumping castle.

A party just wouldn’t be the same without all the giggling and excitement now would it!?