Archive for August, 2011

by Joy Dembo, married, with an 18 year old son and a 25 year old daughter.  Addicted to the www, particularly Twitter. Recruitment Response Handling Consultant and Freelance Copywriter, vegetarian and animal lover. Visit her blog.

This movie is such a clever collaboration of the ever popular western and science fiction genres, so if you want to see something that’s the same, yet vastly different, this movie is the one to pick!

Starring the yummy Daniel Craig and the even yummier Harrison Ford (for the moms), the gorgeous Olivia Wilde (for the dads) and the cute Noah Ringer (for the teens), this movie will keep the whole family entertained.

Combining puppets, and Computer Generated animation,  the visual effects are awesome and the kidswill definitely be glued to the screen when the Aliens finally make their spectacular 3-D appearance!

The action takes place in late 1800’s Arizona, and starts when a stranger (Daniel Craig), wakes up in the dessert, with a strange shackle around his wrist, and severe amnesia, which leaves him with nomemory of who or where he is. Confused and injured, he stumbles into the “skiet, skop and donner” town of Absolution and quickly discovers that  townsfolk don’t take kindly to strangers and that the town is ruled by the all-powerful Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) and his delinquent son.

At least this WAS the case, until the town is caught in the grip of fear, as a strange and eerie force attacks the town, and picks the residents off the street, one by one, and spirits them away in a strange alien craft.

In true hero style, the stranger slowly regains his memory and becomes the town’s only hope of salvation!  The crack shot cowboy comes to the realisation that the mysterious shackle around his wrist holds the key to fighting off the alien force, rescuing the abducted townspeople and saving the town.

Cowboys and Aliens is Universal and Dreamworks latest 3-D offering and is directed by Jon Favreau and based on the 2006 graphic novel of the same name,  created by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg.

The film was released on Friday, 19 August, so if you haven’t already seen it, make a point of doing so this weekend.

The movie is classified 13 L V and runs for 117 minutes.

Spring is definitely in the air and a great time to get out with your kids.   We have a couple of outdoor family events you may want to take your kids to next weekend.

Spring Festival with Coaching Concepts, Florida park, Sept 3 , from 9-11am for 3-13yrs, free activity. A morning of fun and games for the kids at the Florida Albion Football club to celebrate the beginning of Spring. All kids must wear a football shirt (if they have one)

Body Mind Soul - Holistic Fayre, Benoni, 10am-3pm, R10pp, kids under 10yrs free.  Sept 3,4. A day of holistic fun and entertainment for people interested in Complementary Health, Alternative Healing, Holistic Lifestyle and Physical Wellbeing. Various free talks and demonstrations lined up on the day, including a Live Crossing-Over Session.

5th Birthday Party Rocky Ridge Estate, Kameeldrift, Sept 4, 10am-4pm, R10 pp or free for all Facebook friends. You and your kids are hereby invited to join us for our BIG 5th birthday party! Bring all your own eats & treats, camp chairs and come and enjoy our special day with us. Children will be allowed to play in our famous Fantasy Mini-Town, play parks and join in all the other activities organised for this special day! We promise there will be lots & lots of FUN-activities for the kiddies!

Spring Rose Care & Finger Pruning Demo, Ludwigs Rose Farm, Pretoria North, Sept 3, & 11 from 10am. You’ll find something for the whole family; fresh flowers, scrumptious breakfasts, premium coffee and cappuccinos, and for the kids, a huge playground and our Fairy Tale Garden. Don’t miss out on a fun-filled educational morning,

Then we have some fun stuff for moms both expectant and new.

Baby Boot Camp Stroller-based Fitness Classes for moms and expectant moms. Classes on offer in Fourways, Sandton, Kyalami plus a free water bottle at your first class. Prices range from R90 for a single class to R600.

LENGTH: 55 minutes
What you need: Water bottle, mat or towel
What your child needs: Stroller, snacks, toys, sun block, diapers, hat, blanket

Memory Moulds Belly casting kits for expectant mums to create lasting memories of your pregnancy. Kits cost R399 – store in Bryanston – next day delivery = R100

So all those new and expectant moms, happy running with strollers and belly casting.

If you haven’t discovered it yet, Jozikids.co.za is the most up to date and detailed resource for parents in the Gauteng region to find what you need including events, activities, venues and lessons. You’ll also find our mobi site if you search for Jozikids on your cell phone.

We want to look at  support services for parents with special needs kids – whether its autism, reading difficulties, ADD or any other learning difficulty there is so much help out there.  Here are a couple of support services that may interest you.

Healing through interaction with horses.
Children and adolescents with emotional and behavioural challenges respond extremely well to the unconditional and non-judgemental mirror that the horses provides. Several stables provide this therapeutic approach.
EduRide Therapy in Ruimsig on the West Rand
Johannesburg Equestrian Centre, The Hill, Johannesburg
Shumbashaba Equine Assisted Therapy Centre, Diepsloot,

Craft therapy
Craft related work is also therapeutic. A studio that is sensitive to special needs children is
Vincenzia Pottery Studio Greenside Johannesburg

Reading difficulties
The Workshop Reading Centre Fourways, Bedfordview, Randburg, Pretoria The Workshop is a remedial reading centre offering solutions for children with reading difficulties.

Left handed learners
Left-Hand Learning Educational resources and programmes for parents and teachers of left-handed children

Individual support
Independent Learning, greater Johannesburg area
Remedial therapist that works from your home to assist and support children with a variety of Special needs including Autism.

You will find loads more information about schools, support groups and other resources for special needs children on  Jozikids under education » special needs

by Penguin Mother, who has asked that her name not be published to protect herself and her child from the stigmatisation she describes in her story.

This week memorial services will be held in Pretoria and Johannesburg for a wonderful young man. After a three-week search, his body was found in his car in the veld  near Pretoria.

Stunned friends cannot believe that he would have taken his own life and his tragic death has affected all of those who knew him.

His story has brought my own deep and painful memories to the surface and I would like to share the story of my own daughter, in the hope that this may be of help to parents and young people who have been affected by depression.

My daughter began her matric year with the world at her feet. She had been elected as deputy head girl, captained 3 school teams and represented her province in 2 disciplines. She was beautiful, bright, popular and caring and she had so much to give the world.

Her year was very tough and the responsibilities loaded on her were enormous. Yet she was adamant that she could do it all. She was an achiever. She never knew how to say “No” , or “ I need help with that” She pulled away and became more distant from our closely knit family.  I began to worry about her behaviour, and suspected that she was using drugs.

Although these new and scary behaviour patterns weren’t entirely consistent with drug use – at least not from what I had read  – I knew her well enough to know that she was in some kind of awful trouble.  I agonized over whether I was being too interfering, or too controlling, or too suspicious, until my gut instinct told me that my mother’s intuition had to be acted upon.

Our wonderful family doctor made a preliminary diagnosis of severe chronic depression and advised me to remove her from school and get her help urgently as she had been planning her own suicide.

With the intervention of an amazing psychiatrist we were on the road to healing her dreadful, deep and destructive depression. She stayed out of school for much of the second half of the year and we wrapped her in as much love and care as we could. I was terrified to leave her on her own in case she was overcome with “the sadness” again, but we slowly built up our trusting relationship and we began to understand this disease and its awful effects.

She wrote her final exams and went on to medical school. Her battle with depression will never be over, but she has the power and the ability to recognize the warning signs.

My wish is that more people could be educated about depression and that the stigma of mental illness could be removed. If my daughter had been diagnosed with cancer, we would have been overwhelmed with support and sympathy and bombarded with information on modalities. Instead, we were constantly faced with negativity, denial and some frightening psychological diagnosis.

I pray that our story can help just one person reach out for help.

by Katherine Farrell,  Idea generator, Creative Director, interface designer, mother to 2 boys, wife to a 3rd boy haha  … Find her on twitter

Once upon a time I had the perfect life. Mom to two gorgeous healthy little boys – Ronan (5) and Darcy (3), happy marriage to a good man, nice house in the suburbs and a successful corporate job. One morning I woke up and discovered my husband was an addict and that I had been living a lie.

I had been living in denial, a fantasy reality. Now my husbands’ strange behavior and our multitude of maxed out credit cards started to make sense.

The first solution that I came up with was to divorce my husband and start looking for someone new to cast into the role of Perfect Husband (George Clooney perhaps?). And then someone asked me what kind of wife that made me. Did I not take the vows for better for worse, in sickness and in health?  Worst of all, I had been so addicted to perfection that my husband could not come to me for help.

Then I realized, I really and truly love my husband and life without him was unimaginable. I had to find another way and so began my own recovery. It has been just over six months and now I see my husband’s addiction as a gift.

I heard a statistic recently that for every addict something like 22 people are affected. If you consider the immediate family, the friends, the employer and employees – that’s a lot of people! So even if you are not an addict you can be severely affected by this disease. Therefore treating the system of people around the addict greatly improves the chances of recovery.

Addicts survive because people rescue them, prevent them from suffering the consequences of their actions, lie for them, give them money and enable them to be dysfunctional. I found myself being SuperMom, twice the breadwinner and when the crisis hit I was so burned out from my everyday life I had nothing left.

The main reason I am taking my own recovery so seriously is for my two little boys. I believe our children are born with unlimited potential but sometimes they have to shut down parts of themselves in order to survive in the family or society. I recently attended a co-dependency workshop (at Changes) and learned about the 4 roles that children create in a family – the Hero who overachieves and is super responsible, admired for their successes, takes over the role of parent. The scape goat who is always in trouble, a rebel who gets attention by behaving badly. The lost child who withdraws, isolates and keeps to themselves. And the mascot, the happy-go-lucky class clown that refuses to be serious.

Addiction is often handed down generation to generation. I have met many Mothers with children in rehab – a pain I cannot begin to imagine and I often wonder if I will be in their shoes in 20 years time.

I wrote this story for my children and my husband while he was in rehab:

As High as a Kite
Once upon a time there was a woman who met a man.
She didn’t notice but he was hiding something behind his back. It was a kite.
Together they made a home and started a family.
The man went outside to fly his kite.

One day the family needed the man and they called to him
but the kite had lifted him off the ground and up into the sky and he couldn’t hear them.
And as the kite pulled him closer to the sun he knew he had one last chance to let go
but he was too afraid it would hurt to fall.
So the kite fell back down to the ground alone.
And when their child grew into a man he found the kite, picked it up
and hid it behind his back.
___________________________

In recovery I have learned that I need to have spirituality in my life in order to find balance. I need to believe there is something bigger than me so I don’t have to have all the answers. I have learned that progress is more important than perfection – I try to make things a little better one day at a time. I have learned that my emotions are warning signs that I need to observe and I have learned to express them more appropriately or just contain them until they pass.

I attend 12 Step meetings and I am working the 12 Steps of AA, a free, anonymous and confidential recovery programme that welcomes everyone who needs it. The AA literature is not available in self-help sections of your local bookstore, but the books are the most incredible insightful tools.

My life coach (David Collins) said to me this week that all children want are parents who are relaxed, happy and loving. I am working as hard as I can to be able to give that to my children. I have let go of perfection, control and denial (although they try sneak back all the time). In place I have faith, serenity, responsibility for my actions and I am learning to stop taking life so seriously.

I am grateful to JoziKids for covering the topic of addiction. It is a sensitive subject that a lot of people would rather not talk about. Children are taught to keep family secrets – we behave one way at home and another way when we go out. The only way out of this insanity is through open mindedness, honesty and a willingness to change.

I still have the family, the house, the job – for which I am eternally grateful – but never again will I  pretend to myself or anyone else that  I am perfect.

Reading and links:

The disease called Perfection
12 Step programmes:
Alcoholics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
AlAnon Family Groups
NarAnon Family Groups
Codependancy Anonymous (read the 12 promises)

Spring is around the corner and we often take the little things for granted when coming to the safety of our children. Choking on LEGO or even picking up just a little piece of paper,  playing around the pool or close to the burning pots. Woman have a lot of responsibility and domestics are there to assist us but how sure are you that they are in good hands.

FIRST AID AND CPR COURSES
Lets start with making sure the people looking after your kids know what to do in the event of an accident. 

We have several companies on Jozikids that offer First Aid and CPR training for domestic workers  or parents- that run courses throughout the Gauteng region with names such as Critical Medical Training or Domestic Angels or CC Med Care

Nannies in Training has  First Aid & CPR course running every month this year. Their next course for parents takes place in Benmore Gardens, Sandton Aug 27th , Sept 10th, they also run courses for nannies.

SAFETY PRODUCTS
There are so many great products on the market that help with safety around pools, playgrounds and to help you keep track of your little or older ones movements in general whether its in a supermarket or the disco. Here we go:

If you have a pool PowerPlastics Pool Covers sell Solid safety pool covers to prevent drownings.

Protect-A-Child sells a strong safe removable, kiddie proof, maintenance free pool fencing to keep your kiddies safe.

Safety Angel sells anti-drowning alarm your child can wear as a wristband

A company called 4 A Kid sells a range of safety products including:

1. Something called Secure a Kid – a safety  replacement for a booster and toddler seat, which makes  the car safety belt fit the child better Suitable from the age of 3yrs

2. Fun harnesses, with a leash. These have cute designs in the shape of asoccer balls or flowers only cost R100.

3. A Mommy I’m Here child locator- these are teddy bears you can attach to a child so that when they disappear or wander off,  you press a button and the teddy bear makes a noise.  It operates in a 50 metre range.

Feet Track Personal GPS Trackers that is easy to wear on the body or put in a bag. It operates very much like a car tracking system.  It has as an SOS button, if they are in trouble  the child just presses the button and an sms is transmitted to 5 cell phones. Its linked to your cell phone and Google maps so you can see exactly where your child is at that point or even the speed the child is moving at  – If your husband or wife is driving too fast – watch out!

There’s a product called Active Play Mats which has an  anti-slippery surface and cushioning which protects children from the hard impact of  falling. Great for any play area at school or home for children.

Karen Oliver, a single mom of 3 with a great sense of humour , takes her role as mother to heart and makes every day in her chaotic tribe purposeful. Follow her on twitter or facebook for quirks on her tell-it-all life.

I am writing this article through the reflection of my own tears as I am urged to share my last few weeks of absolute chaos and turmoil. Through this article I want to make parents aware of the drug war which is in our midst, attacking our children, the next generation, those we love so dearly.  Only a mother of an addict can understand the real grief I am currently experiencing….

On 26 July 2011 I did the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, I had my beautiful son admitted to a drug recovery centre.  I have aged a million years, cried a million tears, &still they have not stopped. I’m tired to the core of my being, yet for the first time in weeks there is a flicker of peace. I know I have done the right thing…

The process of realising there is a serious problem took only a short while, as I know my children very well.  I noticed a change in his behaviour towards the middle of term 1 (yes he was in matric this year).  A sudden change in increasing frustration, fights with his siblings and moodiness.  At first I put it down to the fact that his teenage hormones has kicked in.  The only mistake I made was to think that this will not happen to my son.  He was my perfect child from the day he was born, and close to a straight A student at the end of Grade 11.  He never disrespected anyone and was so well mannered.

The wheels came off during the June holidays; he never came home when he was meant to, crashed my car, and started disrespecting me with the most horrid language and insults.  This was not my son! It was then that I knew we are dealing with unwanted substances because my child, the one I was closest to, became a stranger overnight.  When I started with a Tough Love regime in my home, he ran away and went missing for four days. I went through the valley of the deepest darkness in those four days, and all I could do was pray for his safe return.  He returned, broken to the core, sobbing and asking me to please help him…. I flew him down to the recovery centre the very next morning, and he is now on the road to recovery with our full support.  His younger siblings have been affected hugely by this trauma, and we are all on the road to recovery.

I recently wrote an article on male role models in a single mother family, and I feel that I have somehow failed my boys in this regard, as I traced the use of drugs back to a huge fall out my son had with his father in December 2010, when he refused to see his father again.  My son has never been a rebel, and I see his addiction to be directly linked to finding refuge for the hurt and inner conflict he is experiencing in stepping into adult male hood and not trusting men…

This mom however will allow NO MORE COMPROMISE: Not only do you have a right, but it is your duty as a parent to question your child’s change in behaviour, to check their phones and pc’s regularly when you have concerns, to check with other parents when your child is going out, and to go through their rooms when things don’t make sense … Do not be manipulated by your child, it will enable the behaviour and ultimately lead to their destruction!

Read up on the various forms of drugs, and have a good all round understanding and knowledge on the use, the effects, and the availability.  A couple of years ago I read an article that statistics show that at least 85% of all teenagers will try a drug at least once.  Where these statistics are right now, I would not dare to give my opinion.  Some of these kids cannot control the use after the first taste… Take Real Action and Do It Fast! We must save the next generation. Addiction does not discriminate against gender, race, culture, religion, location, class…

I am no longer afraid to take a stand.  If you thought I was a mover, groover and shaker until now, you ain’t seen nothing yet… This warrior woman is only just emerging from her shell!  In our darkest moments come our richest blessings, if you open your eyes and really see!

I will continue to write and speak on my journey to healing with ongoing information on substance abuse and addiction.  Please feel free to contact me in this regard.

Some reliable reference sites:

www.toughlove.org.za

www.scrc.co.za

www.rael.co.za

www.mightywings.co.za

If you haven’t discovered it yet, Jozikids.co.za is the most up to date and detailed resource for parents in entire Gauteng region to find what you need including events, activities, venues and lessons.  You’ll also find it on your cell phone when you search for Jozikids.

Its women’s month and we have 2 interesting women’s activities to tell you about:

The first is taking place at Melrose Arch on August 13th next to Moyos restaurant. There will  be a huge big Pink  truck offering Free Breast Cancer Screenings plus valuable information this disease that affects as many as 1 in 29 South African women.

Also on Saturday the 13th Your Parenting is running a workshop, called Pregnancy & Breastfeeding at the Southern Sun hotel in Hyde Park. It’s about how the first 9 months (pregnancy) shape your baby’s life and Getting breastfeeding off to a good start. It only costs R150 pp.

A bit of pampering

Come and be pampered with your daughter at the Mom & Daughter Pamper Spa organised by Glittagals at Planet Fitness the Wanderers in Illovo. Sessions costs from R50 for kids and R100 for adults- booking is essential. Sessions take place on Aug 9,12,16,23.

Then how about going out and leaving all your worries at home on August 9th? Put your sneakers on and lets go. As usual the Jozikids calendar is filled with loads to do. Heres a sampling of some family friendly restuarants offering Women’s Day Specials for the whole family

Family Friendly Restaurants offering Women’s Day Specials

Ludwigs Rose Farm in Pretoria North has a talk by  Anja Taschner about roses – pollen, seeds and new colours. Enjoy a meal or tea at the restaurant and take in the tranquil farm atmosphere. Visit thecrawly room filled with insects and bearded dragons. Large playground for the kids to enjoy and tractor rides

Primi Piatti has created primi pods at certain branches which now offer kids pizza making & baking,in Pta  you’ll find primi pods in Menlyn and Irene. In Joburg  at  Bedfordview, Cresta, Eastgate, Fourways,Randpark Ridge, Stoneridge / Edenvale and Sunninghill

Tres Jolie in Ruimsig on the West Rand is a restaurant with pony rides, jungle gyms and a farmyard