parenting

• ADHD (6)
• adoption (4)
• baby (7)
• careers (3)
• families (1)
• fatherhood (12)
• holidays (3)
• human rights (7)
• manage (9)
• motherhood (19)
• mourning loss (2)
• playing (2)
• pregnancy (5)
• romance (3)
• schooling (13)
• single parents (13)
• social networking (2)
• technology (9)
• teens (10)
  • addiction and depression (2)
  • teen pageants (2)
• television (2)
• toddler (4)
• values (11)

articles

• Parenting workshops, cooking and markets in Pretoria
• Shows, childcare, pregnancy and kids extra murals
• Back to school checklist and parent-baby/toddler groups
• Parenting workshops & shows this week
• School holiday camps and day programs
• Support for special needs kids
• The demon of depression
• A family’s struggle with addiction
• Drug Addiction does not discriminate – a mother’s story
• Teaching kids to manage their time
• Music and little children
• Finding a new man – tips for single moms
• Mothers without fathers, a single mom’s story.
• Hey dada, be a man!
• Being a Dad: making it up along the way
• Thank you for being such a crazy dad
• Porn, children and the internet – a case of hide and seek?
• Fun educational internet sites for kids
• Tweeting parents beware!
• Your child’s ADHD, schools and teachers
• Our homeschooling journey
• Hyperactivity and kids parties
• Kids parties – whats enough?
• Strong mothers, strong sons
• Cybermoms thrive
• The love of a mother
• 5 ways to let go this Mother’s Day
• Helping children sleep
• On the first night with new baby
• A mother’s instinct is never wrong
• Working mum – the ‘decision’ and the guilt
• Working mom’s plea for all day holiday care
• Talking to kids about war & natural disasters
• Proud to be a dad
• De-coding the cry
• When is your child ready for a cell phone?
• Kids and technology – good or bad?
• Are you raising a technological wizard or a creative, imaginative thinker?
• Would you accept a C- when it came to your child’s health?
• YOU are what your child eats…
• Finding fulfillment as a stay-at-home mom
• The challenges facing working moms
• Party stress
• Why I homeschool my child
• Limit TV Time with a Token System
• Whether or not to send my child to school?
• Heel skates for cool kids
• Pregnancy- take 3
• The story of Hope- part 2
• Planning Christmas holidays
• Christmas and nowhere to hide
• December holidays, a 3 year old and maternity leave…
• The little things in life
• Career women can also be career moms
• Child trafficking scare at Zoo Lake
• Parenting in a climate of fear
• Eliminate the effects of exam stress before they eliminate your kids
• The lighter side of potty training
• A single mom’s story and search for a local support group
• Caught between a rock and a spooky place
• Using values to raise my kids
• Shower wars with my teenage son
• Words to my daughter
• Who rules the roost?
• Coping with loss, from the mouths of babes
• Have I been a good mother?
• Spring is here, what does it mean to you?
• Public-sector workers strike, explaining it to children.
• Please help premature babies, helpless victims of the strike
• What does the strike teach our kids… that adults can act like children?
• What they don’t teach you at antenatal classes
• Food and ADHD
• Feeding tricky toddlers
• The Smartphone Monster
• Photographing your newborn baby
• Baby stimulation DVDs for parents reviewed
• Dumping the dummy
• ADHD and holiday medication
• My rising little star
• Remembering the elderly
• A guide to baby showers and other weird rites of passage ceremonies
• Shelve the guilt and ignore the doubt
• Someone to call me mommy
• With love to my Xhosa African Queen Mother
• Mrs Johnson’s daughter
• Being a mom is not about being a martyr
• The rainbow child and her paper mom
• Mother’s Day, it’s not all chocolates and teddy bears!
• Taking the fat back
• My son smokes!
• What is family?
• Growing kids with character by Hettie Britz – a book review
• Seeing red, and how to deal with it.
• Mommy’s boy
• Single mom searches for support
• Taking credit for being a supermom
• Mommy, why are the whites cross with the blacks?
• My child’s public tantrum, exhausting!
• A meaty issue
• The family that plays together stays together!

If you haven’t discovered it yet, www.Jozikids.co.za is the most up to date and detailed resource for parents in the Gauteng region to find what you need including events, activities, venues, parties and lessons. You’ll also find us on your cell phone

COOKING

Mango Magic Tots and Pots, Fourways, Feb 10-Mar 9.

We will be cooking and baking with seasonal fruit and herbs. Each week the kids get to explore new tastes and learn interesting facts about the ingredients used. We will also be making a special Valentine’s treat.

Tots n Pots – Pretoria West- Valentines  Creations -make pink watermelon muffins and almond heart fondants and gift bags Feb 11, 9am R120 per child – 2-10

Praline Truffles lesson, Lindas Bake, Westdene, Feb 11.

MARKETS

Hazel Food Market Menlo Park, every Sat.
and join us for breakfast, brunch or lunch whilst the little ones make use of the jumping castle and jungle gym. More than 80 dedicated food stalls to choose from.

Organic Food Market Kyalami at Mapatiza Gemstone Mine
Plenty of stalls: fruit & vegetables, farmers market, baked goodies, cheeses,Indian & German foods, arts & crafts. There are fun activities for kids such as Camel rides, Gemstone Scratch Patch and the gemstone mine

PARENTING WORKSHOPS

Equal Zeal Pretoria East –Parenting workshop ( 4 weeks)

319 Acornhoek Street , Faerie Glen Pretoria East

Equips parents with the skills for dealing with a new-age technological era that in many cases causes difficulty in transferring morals and values to their children. This program assists parents in re-assessing their values and looks at the effects of the modern day world on their children’s outlook and how to channel these influences appropriately, Feb 9,16,23,Mar 1.

THEATRE

Shakespeare Week for Schools, Brooklyn Theatre, Feb 7-10, from 9am, R50 per learner. Various Shakespeare Acts: Much Ado About Nothing, Julius Ceasar, Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, Henry V, Hamlet, Othello.

If you haven’t discovered it yet, Jozikids.co.za is the most up to date and detailed resource for parents in the Gauteng region to find what you need including events, activities, venues, parties and lessons. You’ll also find us on your cell phone.

SHOWS

Chinese Marvels Celebration, Emperors Palace, Jan 27-29
For the first time in South Africa, the China National Acrobatic Troupe which will bring to the Palace of Dreams its brilliant Acrobatic and Chinese Gong Fu show entitled Chinese Marvels on the occasion of the Chinesse New Year.

The Phantom of the Opera Montecasino, Fourways, Jan 31

The Parlotones live Barnyard, Cresta, Jan 25

PARENTING COURSES

Child Care & First Aid,( 2dys) Nannies in Training, Jan 28
Childcare course covering Hygiene, Safety, Security, HIV Awareness, Nutrition, Playtime and our “How To” practical baby and child section from bathing and feeding to routine and how to handle a crying baby. Practical and Hands On. Zulu Co-trainer

Pregnancy Wkshps, Bright Start Early Intervention Centre in, Saxonworld runs workshops on Thursday and Saturdays in
Jan 26 – infant Massage -  3rd trimester
Jan  28 – B-Day – 3rd trimester

EXTRA MURALS

Nows the time to register your child for extra murals whether its dancing ( modern, ballet, hip hop, freestyle, latin, Spanish, irish), a musical instrument, swimming, tennis, martial arts, even archery and chess. Click on extra murals to find whats on offer in your area.

Its frantic preparing for school time for most of you whose kids return to school this coming week. Here’s a checklist of services you will find on Jozikids that will help you in your preparations.

SCHOOL PREPARATIONS:

PARENT- BABY TODDLER  CLASSES

Weekly classes offered by Toptots, Moms & Tots/Babes, Kindermusik, Clamber Club, The Wendyhouse, Mothers & Miracles and more.

HOLIDAY CARE

Holiday care for last 2 days – most schools reopen on the 18th January. These are places you can also visit with your kids over weekends that are running holiday programs  on Monday and Tuesday.

Purple Cow Centurion, until Jan 17
A restaurant with a playground for kids and supervised activities this week,
Ages 4-10yrs .Time: 7am-6pm

Kinderland Pretoria, until Jan 18
Sandart, bake apple tart, Jan 17
Paint fridge magnets, make chocolate,or Rock Art, Jan 18
Ages: 3-10yrs, special care unit for 1-3yrs
Time: 7am-5pm

Parenting is not for “sissies” and we shouldn’t be shy to ask for help. We have a growing list of companies offering regular parenting workshops. Here’s a list of parenting workshops coming up. Click here to find the list of companies that organise them.

On October 11th t that’s Wednesday here’s a free support group for moms organized by the Family Centre in Bedfordview. They meet once or twice a month. The next meeting is Oct 11th. Its called Mom’s Circle of Support , Bella Vida in Bryanston organizes something similar, so check them out on Jozikids to find out more.

Next Thursday October 13th, there’s a talk called  Bridging the Digital Divide Its about helping parents who do not understand the internet and all the new technologies kids are into understand how to embrace and deal with these.  The speaker and organizer here is Nikki Bush of the Bright Ideas Outfit based in Douglasdale , Sandton.

Finally we have 2 more parenting courses taking place on October 19th.

The first one is run by  Practical Parenting called the Power of Play teaching parents and child minders about age appropriate  stimulation and play for children.  The venue is the Field and Study Centre in Parkmore and takes place on Oct 19th.

Raising Readers is a 2 hour course, designed to help parents to nurture reading at home, equip parents with techniques to develop their children’s reading skills and empower parents with information about reading. Organised by Cherise’s Little Music Studio in Sundowner on Oct 19.

SHOWS & EXPOS THIS WEEK

2 great  family events for you today , an outdoor picnic and a toy expo.

11th Annual Teddy Bear Picnic –on Sunday 9th from 1-4pm at Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens in Roodepoort. Picnic in the Garden and enjoy entertainment for the whole family by the Marimba Band, the Endangered Animal Character show, children’s magic show, train rides, face painting, sand art and also attend a Teddy Bear Workshop. Remember to bring along a ‘spare’ teddy bear to leave behind for donation to The Teddy Bear Clinic for abused children, our principal beneficiary,

There’s  fabulous toy expo at the Sci-bono Discovery Centre in Newtown this weekend. Its called the  Gizmos & Gadgets remote control & techno toy expo, There’ll be model plane, train and automobile demonstrations, interactive science shows, obstacle challenges, and family workshops. Remote controlled planes demonstrations are scheduled to take place in the Newtown Park and model car raceshappening in  Miriam Makeba Street. Cost is only R10 for kids and R20 for adults.

Also next Sunday

Midrand used to be abundant with the mighty bullfrogs, but their numbers are decreasing at an alarming rate. Pyxi Conservation Day at Lory Park Zoo  is to create awareness about this wonderful animal. There will be loads of fun activities for kids to enter, like the hopping on one leg race, leap froging and lilly pad dance competition, so come dressed in green on October 16th

Remember you can find more ideas of what to do with your family in the Gauteng region on www.Jozikids.co.za on your computer or your cell phone

Schools holidays start for most schools on Friday. If you want to send your child to a sleepover camp or a day program, nows the time to book. For We have a list of at least 10 different  sleepover camps on offer – many start on October 2, 3, or 4th. Here’s a sampling of what you will find.

CAMPS
Camps- Sleepover
Mazz Riding Club pony sleepover camp, Centurion- 5 days.
Jod’s Riding school- 6 days
In the forest  in Eikenhof- 5 days
Kids Fishing sleepover camp, Vaal- 3 days
Flip Flop Basecamp SA, Harbeespoort- 4 days
Sugar Bay, Zinkwazi beach, KZN- 7 days
Esperanza, horse riding Mooiplaats Pta- 5 days
Immaculate Equestrian, Vaal- 4 days
Adventure n Beyond, Krugersdorp- 5 days
Kambi Kids Bush Camp, Muldersdrift- 7 days
Shepherds Fold, Elandsdrift – 3days

Then there are holiday programs which take place during the day that focus on certain disciplines like:

DAY PROGRAMS
Drama
musical theatre workshops – one in Heidelberg and another where the venue is still to be confirmed.

Science/Tech
Technolab holiday club :Learn about some of the inventions and inventors that changed the world for grade 3-6, robotics for grade 7-12 in Auckland Park.

Sports
You’ll find tennis, horse riding, soccer programs in Joburg and the East rand.

Tuition services
Finally this is a crucial time for anyone writing matric and we have loads of tuition services on our site that are offering holiday matric revision :
Master Maths in Randpark Ridge and Pretoria,
Study Doctor Tutoring has a day workshop on October 1 in Randburg,
KipMcGrath in Rosebank offers a 4 day course.

You’ll find a long list on Jozikids – just visit the tuition section on our holiday activities page.

Remember you can find more ideas of what to do with your family in the Gauteng region on www.Jozikids.co.za on your computer or your cell phone.

If you haven’t discovered it yet, Jozikids.co.za is the most up to date and detailed resource for parents in the Gauteng region to find what you need including events, activities, venues and lessons. You’ll also find our mobi site if you search for Jozikids on your cell phone.

We want to look at  support services for parents with special needs kids – whether its autism, reading difficulties, ADD or any other learning difficulty there is so much help out there.  Here are a couple of support services that may interest you.

Healing through interaction with horses.
Children and adolescents with emotional and behavioural challenges respond extremely well to the unconditional and non-judgemental mirror that the horses provides. Several stables provide this therapeutic approach.
EduRide Therapy in Ruimsig on the West Rand
Johannesburg Equestrian Centre, The Hill, Johannesburg
Shumbashaba Equine Assisted Therapy Centre, Diepsloot,

Craft therapy
Craft related work is also therapeutic. A studio that is sensitive to special needs children is
Vincenzia Pottery Studio Greenside Johannesburg

Reading difficulties
The Workshop Reading Centre Fourways, Bedfordview, Randburg, Pretoria The Workshop is a remedial reading centre offering solutions for children with reading difficulties.

Left handed learners
Left-Hand Learning Educational resources and programmes for parents and teachers of left-handed children

Individual support
Independent Learning, greater Johannesburg area
Remedial therapist that works from your home to assist and support children with a variety of Special needs including Autism.

You will find loads more information about schools, support groups and other resources for special needs children on  Jozikids under education » special needs

by Penguin Mother, who has asked that her name not be published to protect herself and her child from the stigmatisation she describes in her story.

This week memorial services will be held in Pretoria and Johannesburg for a wonderful young man. After a three-week search, his body was found in his car in the veld  near Pretoria.

Stunned friends cannot believe that he would have taken his own life and his tragic death has affected all of those who knew him.

His story has brought my own deep and painful memories to the surface and I would like to share the story of my own daughter, in the hope that this may be of help to parents and young people who have been affected by depression.

My daughter began her matric year with the world at her feet. She had been elected as deputy head girl, captained 3 school teams and represented her province in 2 disciplines. She was beautiful, bright, popular and caring and she had so much to give the world.

Her year was very tough and the responsibilities loaded on her were enormous. Yet she was adamant that she could do it all. She was an achiever. She never knew how to say “No” , or “ I need help with that” She pulled away and became more distant from our closely knit family.  I began to worry about her behaviour, and suspected that she was using drugs.

Although these new and scary behaviour patterns weren’t entirely consistent with drug use – at least not from what I had read  – I knew her well enough to know that she was in some kind of awful trouble.  I agonized over whether I was being too interfering, or too controlling, or too suspicious, until my gut instinct told me that my mother’s intuition had to be acted upon.

Our wonderful family doctor made a preliminary diagnosis of severe chronic depression and advised me to remove her from school and get her help urgently as she had been planning her own suicide.

With the intervention of an amazing psychiatrist we were on the road to healing her dreadful, deep and destructive depression. She stayed out of school for much of the second half of the year and we wrapped her in as much love and care as we could. I was terrified to leave her on her own in case she was overcome with “the sadness” again, but we slowly built up our trusting relationship and we began to understand this disease and its awful effects.

She wrote her final exams and went on to medical school. Her battle with depression will never be over, but she has the power and the ability to recognize the warning signs.

My wish is that more people could be educated about depression and that the stigma of mental illness could be removed. If my daughter had been diagnosed with cancer, we would have been overwhelmed with support and sympathy and bombarded with information on modalities. Instead, we were constantly faced with negativity, denial and some frightening psychological diagnosis.

I pray that our story can help just one person reach out for help.

by Katherine Farrell,  Idea generator, Creative Director, interface designer, mother to 2 boys, wife to a 3rd boy haha  … Find her on twitter

Once upon a time I had the perfect life. Mom to two gorgeous healthy little boys – Ronan (5) and Darcy (3), happy marriage to a good man, nice house in the suburbs and a successful corporate job. One morning I woke up and discovered my husband was an addict and that I had been living a lie.

I had been living in denial, a fantasy reality. Now my husbands’ strange behavior and our multitude of maxed out credit cards started to make sense.

The first solution that I came up with was to divorce my husband and start looking for someone new to cast into the role of Perfect Husband (George Clooney perhaps?). And then someone asked me what kind of wife that made me. Did I not take the vows for better for worse, in sickness and in health?  Worst of all, I had been so addicted to perfection that my husband could not come to me for help.

Then I realized, I really and truly love my husband and life without him was unimaginable. I had to find another way and so began my own recovery. It has been just over six months and now I see my husband’s addiction as a gift.

I heard a statistic recently that for every addict something like 22 people are affected. If you consider the immediate family, the friends, the employer and employees – that’s a lot of people! So even if you are not an addict you can be severely affected by this disease. Therefore treating the system of people around the addict greatly improves the chances of recovery.

Addicts survive because people rescue them, prevent them from suffering the consequences of their actions, lie for them, give them money and enable them to be dysfunctional. I found myself being SuperMom, twice the breadwinner and when the crisis hit I was so burned out from my everyday life I had nothing left.

The main reason I am taking my own recovery so seriously is for my two little boys. I believe our children are born with unlimited potential but sometimes they have to shut down parts of themselves in order to survive in the family or society. I recently attended a co-dependency workshop (at Changes) and learned about the 4 roles that children create in a family – the Hero who overachieves and is super responsible, admired for their successes, takes over the role of parent. The scape goat who is always in trouble, a rebel who gets attention by behaving badly. The lost child who withdraws, isolates and keeps to themselves. And the mascot, the happy-go-lucky class clown that refuses to be serious.

Addiction is often handed down generation to generation. I have met many Mothers with children in rehab – a pain I cannot begin to imagine and I often wonder if I will be in their shoes in 20 years time.

I wrote this story for my children and my husband while he was in rehab:

As High as a Kite
Once upon a time there was a woman who met a man.
She didn’t notice but he was hiding something behind his back. It was a kite.
Together they made a home and started a family.
The man went outside to fly his kite.

One day the family needed the man and they called to him
but the kite had lifted him off the ground and up into the sky and he couldn’t hear them.
And as the kite pulled him closer to the sun he knew he had one last chance to let go
but he was too afraid it would hurt to fall.
So the kite fell back down to the ground alone.
And when their child grew into a man he found the kite, picked it up
and hid it behind his back.
___________________________

In recovery I have learned that I need to have spirituality in my life in order to find balance. I need to believe there is something bigger than me so I don’t have to have all the answers. I have learned that progress is more important than perfection – I try to make things a little better one day at a time. I have learned that my emotions are warning signs that I need to observe and I have learned to express them more appropriately or just contain them until they pass.

I attend 12 Step meetings and I am working the 12 Steps of AA, a free, anonymous and confidential recovery programme that welcomes everyone who needs it. The AA literature is not available in self-help sections of your local bookstore, but the books are the most incredible insightful tools.

My life coach (David Collins) said to me this week that all children want are parents who are relaxed, happy and loving. I am working as hard as I can to be able to give that to my children. I have let go of perfection, control and denial (although they try sneak back all the time). In place I have faith, serenity, responsibility for my actions and I am learning to stop taking life so seriously.

I am grateful to JoziKids for covering the topic of addiction. It is a sensitive subject that a lot of people would rather not talk about. Children are taught to keep family secrets – we behave one way at home and another way when we go out. The only way out of this insanity is through open mindedness, honesty and a willingness to change.

I still have the family, the house, the job – for which I am eternally grateful – but never again will I  pretend to myself or anyone else that  I am perfect.

Reading and links:

The disease called Perfection
12 Step programmes:
Alcoholics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
AlAnon Family Groups
NarAnon Family Groups
Codependancy Anonymous (read the 12 promises)

Karen Oliver, a single mom of 3 with a great sense of humour , takes her role as mother to heart and makes every day in her chaotic tribe purposeful. Follow her on twitter or facebook for quirks on her tell-it-all life.

I am writing this article through the reflection of my own tears as I am urged to share my last few weeks of absolute chaos and turmoil. Through this article I want to make parents aware of the drug war which is in our midst, attacking our children, the next generation, those we love so dearly.  Only a mother of an addict can understand the real grief I am currently experiencing….

On 26 July 2011 I did the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, I had my beautiful son admitted to a drug recovery centre.  I have aged a million years, cried a million tears, &still they have not stopped. I’m tired to the core of my being, yet for the first time in weeks there is a flicker of peace. I know I have done the right thing…

The process of realising there is a serious problem took only a short while, as I know my children very well.  I noticed a change in his behaviour towards the middle of term 1 (yes he was in matric this year).  A sudden change in increasing frustration, fights with his siblings and moodiness.  At first I put it down to the fact that his teenage hormones has kicked in.  The only mistake I made was to think that this will not happen to my son.  He was my perfect child from the day he was born, and close to a straight A student at the end of Grade 11.  He never disrespected anyone and was so well mannered.

The wheels came off during the June holidays; he never came home when he was meant to, crashed my car, and started disrespecting me with the most horrid language and insults.  This was not my son! It was then that I knew we are dealing with unwanted substances because my child, the one I was closest to, became a stranger overnight.  When I started with a Tough Love regime in my home, he ran away and went missing for four days. I went through the valley of the deepest darkness in those four days, and all I could do was pray for his safe return.  He returned, broken to the core, sobbing and asking me to please help him…. I flew him down to the recovery centre the very next morning, and he is now on the road to recovery with our full support.  His younger siblings have been affected hugely by this trauma, and we are all on the road to recovery.

I recently wrote an article on male role models in a single mother family, and I feel that I have somehow failed my boys in this regard, as I traced the use of drugs back to a huge fall out my son had with his father in December 2010, when he refused to see his father again.  My son has never been a rebel, and I see his addiction to be directly linked to finding refuge for the hurt and inner conflict he is experiencing in stepping into adult male hood and not trusting men…

This mom however will allow NO MORE COMPROMISE: Not only do you have a right, but it is your duty as a parent to question your child’s change in behaviour, to check their phones and pc’s regularly when you have concerns, to check with other parents when your child is going out, and to go through their rooms when things don’t make sense … Do not be manipulated by your child, it will enable the behaviour and ultimately lead to their destruction!

Read up on the various forms of drugs, and have a good all round understanding and knowledge on the use, the effects, and the availability.  A couple of years ago I read an article that statistics show that at least 85% of all teenagers will try a drug at least once.  Where these statistics are right now, I would not dare to give my opinion.  Some of these kids cannot control the use after the first taste… Take Real Action and Do It Fast! We must save the next generation. Addiction does not discriminate against gender, race, culture, religion, location, class…

I am no longer afraid to take a stand.  If you thought I was a mover, groover and shaker until now, you ain’t seen nothing yet… This warrior woman is only just emerging from her shell!  In our darkest moments come our richest blessings, if you open your eyes and really see!

I will continue to write and speak on my journey to healing with ongoing information on substance abuse and addiction.  Please feel free to contact me in this regard.

Some reliable reference sites:

www.toughlove.org.za

www.scrc.co.za

www.rael.co.za

www.mightywings.co.za

by Kerry Esterhuizen, tutor for Penguin Tutoring, avid reader. She has a BA in Psychology, English &Honours in English Literature. Her special skills involve essay and exam writing techniques.

We live in a world of instantaneous communication – and instant demands. The report you were told to write today was due yesterday, your boss has scheduled seven meetings for the same hour, and you still have to find time to pick up the kids from school, help them with their homework and make a dinner everyone will eat and which is still nutritious.

Pause for a moment. Have I made your heart race? Yes, your life is, probably, fuller than that of your kids, but believe me when I say that they’re as panic-stricken regarding what in their lives goes where. There’s school, sport, homework, test preparation, the school play, extra-curricular activities and nagging mums, shouting dads and difficult teachers to placate. And, on top of all this, there are friends to fight and make up with, parties to go to and the right outfit to find.

In order to get around to everything, without allowing anything to fall by the wayside, children, and definitely teenagers, have to learn organisation.  It is a very necessary skill – one that they will need throughout their lives. So why not prepare your child to be organised now?

First and foremost, let your children organise themselves. I firmly believe that we learn by doing. Buy them a homework diary. Insist they write in it. Check that they’re doing so, if necessary. Ultimately, however, if you’re running your child’s life for them, what reason do they have to learn how to do it themselves?

Assist them in learning how to plan. If working on a large project, they can break it up into manageable bits, and complete each task they’ve assigned themselves. Don’t make them use it purely for homework – let them write down what events they have when, so that they can see that leaving studying until the Thursday before a Friday Maths test is probably not a good idea if they have rehearsals for Hamlet until late on Thursday evening.

If they are inclined to forget about what’s over the page,  a desk calendar can be a good idea – with a monthly planner they can see what’s due when at a glance. Remind them to fill in *everything*. This includes Suzi’s party on Saturday.

Don’t fall for the “planning fallacy”. People have a tendency to underestimate the amount of time it will take them to complete a task.  Encourage them to allow for triple the time they think a project will take them. If they finish with time to spare, that extra time should be theirs – this way, good planning is rewarded.

Flexibility should be promoted: starting early on any given task will allow for Eskom to cut the power – or give them the time to counsel their best friend through a crisis.

Lastly, warn them not to spend so much time organising their lives that no time is left in which to do the actual work. What good is a beautiful schedule that can’t be followed due to time constraints?