parenting

• ADHD (4)
• adoption (3)
• baby (6)
• careers (1)
• families (1)
• fatherhood (5)
• human rights (6)
• manage (8)
• motherhood (8)
• mourning loss (1)
• playing (2)
• pregnancy (3)
• romance (3)
• schooling (9)
• single parents (10)
• technology (2)
• teens (6)
  • teen pageants (2)
• toddler (4)
• values (7)

articles

• Spring is here…
• Public-sector workers strike, explaining it to children.
• Please help premature babies, helpless victims of the strike
• What does the strike teach our kids… that adults can act like children?
• What they don’t teach you at antenatal classes
• Food and ADHD
• Feeding tricky toddlers
• The Smartphone Monster
• Photographing your newborn baby
• Baby stimulation DVDs for parents reviewed
• Dumping the dummy
• ADHD and holiday medication
• My rising little star
• Remembering the elderly
• A guide to baby showers and other weird rites of passage ceremonies
• Shelve the guilt and ignore the doubt
• Someone to call me mommy
• With love to my Xhosa African Queen Mother
• Mrs Johnson’s daughter
• Being a mom is not about being a martyr
• The rainbow child and her paper mom
• Mother’s Day, it’s not all chocolates and teddy bears!
• Taking the fat back
• My son smokes!
• What is family?
• Growing kids with character by Hettie Britz – a book review
• Seeing red, and how to deal with it.
• Mommy’s boy
• Single mom searches for support
• Taking credit for being a supermom
• Mommy, why are the whites cross with the blacks?
• My child’s public tantrum, exhausting!
• A meaty issue
• The family that plays together stays together!
• My daughter, my heart
• A time to mourn
• Rights and responsibilities – an unbreakable union.
• Children innately grasp what their “Rights” are
• How do I teach my kids about Human Rights?
• However imperfect, for most, life is better.
• Rice grains in the salt cellar
• Separation anxiety
• Creation of culture through parenting
• Preparing for a calm and happy birth
• Who’s raising your children?
• Teachers are not all-knowing when it comes to ADHDers
• Every parent is in marketing (even if they don’t realise it)
• School’s out forever and a new phase begins in my son’s life
• Stress and children: seeing red
• Hitting the ground running
• How do single parents find romance?
• After the storm
• Making time for 2 when you are 3
• Job sharing: a new way to balance a career and kids?
• Talking to our kids about Haiti
• Public vs private schooling
• Wet kisses, pinched cheeks, other mistakes adults make
• Racist toddler
• Moms and teens, the agony and the errrrr….agony.
• Child management 101
• A mother’s guilt
• Playschool and big boy beds
• Christmas without my kids
• Christmas – Money, Mystery and Imagination
• What can we teach our children at Christmas?
• To Wii or not to Wii, that is the question…
• ADHD and the holidays
• Pre-school teachers needed
• Preparing for Xmas: mom’s red hooded helper
• Moms need holidays too!!
• The wonderful world of books – one child’s journey
• Funerals and children
• When can kids miss school?
• How do I leave my child behind?
• Giving at Christmas
• T-A-N-T-R-U-M
• What’s in a name?
• Is there support for single moms?
• My child, my religion
• You scream, I wilt
• Are we educating kids for the future?
• Is your child a genius?
• Kisses
• A survival guide for parents on the go
• School projects
• What do teen pageants say?
• Some freaky stuff at schools… drugs, etc challenge a deeper look
• Help us find the winner of our competition.
• Help me find a school for my son
• Caster Semenya – a little girl lost
• Being a father
• I am sick!
• Tommy Thumb, Tommy Thumb where are you?
• Talking to Miss SA Teen
• Are you the mom or the dad?
• Being the modern mom
• Deciding to refuse access
• Waterbirth
• Things I didn’t think would happen..
• Easy Answers to Awkward Questions : New Parenting Book

by Barbara Lombard – wife, mother to 2, co-owner of Earth Babies , occasional doula.

What does spring mean to you? For some it is all philosophical and filled with the 3R’s – rebirth, renewal and regrowth.

Being a mom I don’t really have time or energy for philosophical so it is all so much simpler.

Spring means the end of winter. It is the scent of jasmine in the air, the smell of coming rain to settle the dust and wash away the grime. The glimpse of bright green new leaves and tiny tight closed flower buds. It is waking the kids up for school and opening the curtains to light outside – being able to tell them it is time to get up without arguing why the sun still gets to sleep.

Even more exciting is being able to pack away jerseys that caused fights about whether they were needed. To no longer worry about them looking like orphans in tracksuits that were long enough when winter began (children look less neglected in shorts than pants that no longer meet their ankles). It is little arms and legs without goosebumps and best of all acceptable grubby little bare feet – no more well meaning people moaning in shops because my kids – who don’t want shoes on – are going to get sick from cold feet.

Spring is more time outdoors.

We do a lift club in with another family and on the mornings they fetch my 2 we finish up and go out into the garden to wait where they jump on the trampoline or we play eye spy – spring gives us so many more options and colours to practice our ‘word sounds’ with – being in preschool we are still on the ‘something beginning with guh instead of g’ approach, there is only so many times guh-rey can be chosen before it becomes monotonous.

Currently at school for season awareness, they are doing the very exciting process of growing a bean. The little sprout is being very lovingly tended and over watered – which made me remember it is spring and as such time to take part again in Planting Season – there are 21 days to go!

It is once more a perfect time to plant some veggie seeds, watch them grow and if we look after them nicely we will be able to pick the leaves and vegetables and eat them which is always very exciting for the kids and a great way to get them to eat those veggies they would normally turn their noses up at. I am not a big lover of gardening but I do love to see the new growth, greenness and most of all the colours that spring brings.

by Lihle Z Mtshali, the mother of an awesome daughter and columnist for the Sunday Times.   Find her on twitter @lihle_z

I would tell them that people who work for the government, which includes teachers, are on strike because they want to be paid more than they’re being paid now, so they can live a better life. But unfortunately when they strike other people suffer because nurses are on strike, too, and so there is no-one taking care of patients at hospitals. What is fortunate is that there are ordinary people who are willing to go to hospital to help take care of the sick people.

by Joy Dembo, married, with an 18 yr old son and a 25 yr old daughter.  Recruitment Response Handling Consultant and Freelance Copywriter, vegetarian and animal lover.  Here’s her blog.

I would make it clear to a child that if there was no exploitation, there would never have been a need for unions, collective bargaining and strikes, in the first place.  By the same token, I would explain that sometimes workers make unreasonable demands and then try and bring companies, Governments etc to their knees by striking and causing chaos and loss of production. I would make it clear that you cant just down tools to get what you want! You must have a valid gripe before you can consider striking.  I would also impress upon them the need for compromise on both sides, during negotiations, much like negotiating a bed time, or how much TV they are allowed to watch. In short, I would explain that “downing tools” has a place in the labour market, but only if  it’s organised and legal, AND only if the strikers are not providing an essential service. If the police and medical sectors strike en masse, lives will be lost and that’s not ok!

by Sue Maher,  a high school maths teacher, married for 11yrs and  mother to two delightful little girls, Leanne in grade 2 and Allison in grade 0.

I tell my kids that the teachers would like to get paid more and they are allowed to strike. This means they can stop working because they are having a disagreement with the government.  They are not, however, allowed to hurt anyone or break anything. Those teachers who are behaving very badly are not doing what one is supposed to do when one strikes. As a teacher, I feel that the  strikers who are behaving very badly  are losing credibility with their students.  How do you behave like thugs and when the strike is over walk into your classroom and expect your students respect you?

by Jeanine Ozrechowesky, PR consultant and passionate mother to 2 16 yr old twins, Gabyu and Nina. Find her on twitter @JeannineOrz

I tell them that there are many sides to the story. That the civil servants do deserve more money but that their behaviour is unacceptable. That the government should get its priorities right and pay the people whose services we need the most, the salaries they deserve.

By Jacqui Janse van Rensburg who has lived in Johannesburg all her life. In her 42 years she has been a daughter, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, an employee and is a CFO, but at last she can celebrate being a MOMMY! You can find her on twitter @JaxJvR

I am doing a collection of premmie baby stuff to drop off at the Netcare Hospital that has taken in the 60 premmie babies because of the strike. They need clothes, nappies, bum cream, dummies etc. email me at Premature60@gmail.com and we can arrange drop off/collection times, then I am taking it through on Sunday.

What motivated me to do this, my story:

Matthew was born 5 weeks premature. The night before the caesarean, the nurses took me on a tour of the Neo Natal ward, so that when I saw Matthew in the ward, I would be more used to the idea, and fore warn is … How ever the saying goes.

I was horrified, and clutched my bulging tummy as I walked around and saw all those tiny little bodies, looking like little plucked chickens, with tubes, drips, breathing apparatus, their desperate parents sitting next to them, exhausted, but full of love and hope.

I thank God daily that Matthew came out strong and healthy, and didn’t spend any time in the Neo Natal ward, much to the surprise and delight of all in the maternity ward.

So this morning, when I heard on 702 that 60 (SIXTY!!!!!) premmie babies had to be moved from the Helen Joseph hospital because of the strike, my heart broke all over again, and I have been in full drive mode!

The NetCare hospital that has taken in the babies (and their mommies) are not asking for a cent, but would appreciate any donations such as nappies, caps, premmie baby grows, gowns, etc.

So … I am volunteering to be the collection point for anyone that want to donate, and I will deliver to them on Sunday.

Send me an email to Premature60@gmail.com and I will let you know where you can drop off your goodies.

With a heavy heart, I ask you to please help me to help these little souls.

Jacqui

by Laura Allmayer,   co-founder of Journey2Joy, mom to two little people, compulsive blogger and twitter addict. When she’s not blogging  she’s planning baby showers and helping moms prepare for their new babies.

Earlier on today I heard a government spokesman say that schools are urged to sacrifice the September holidays to catch up!

I nearly crashed my car I was so outraged at the audacity of this!

Our children are being intimidated, abused and hauled out of their classrooms and the good old government seems to be doing the bare minimum to protect these children!  But they want the CHILDREN to sacrifice their holidays to make up time lost due to decisions made by UNIONS!

Seriously I have a good mind to open water hoses on dear  JZ and his gang of merry men!

What lesson are our children being taught by this strike? That when things don’t go their own way they can throw a tantrum, hurt people and it’s ok! That they do not need to consider the big picture and look at how things affect the world at large?

Aren’t these the things we, as parents, try and teach them NOT to do? Don’t we teach them that it is unacceptable to throw a tantrum or punch their sister when they don’t get their own way? Don’t we try and teach them about consequence and how their actions affect others?

I don’t doubt there are government employees who should earn more but then I know of private sector employees who are paid barely minimum wage. We all could do with more but we all don’t fight, destroy and spread destruction.

Something that also fascinates me is that all these people hell bent on fighting the government, all voted for the very self same government and will do so again when next we vote.

by Tanya Kovarsky mother of baby Max, a magazine editor, and 8-time Comrades Marathon runner. Aside from her family and friends, she considers chai tea, her Blackberry, running shoes, baby jogger, Grey’s Anatomy, Glee and Twitter among the great loves of her life. Follow Tanya on Twitter @TanyaKovarsky

What to shop for, how to sterilize bottles and what to pack for the hospital are important lessons for feeling like you’re organised and leading you to believe you’ve got the whole motherhood thing sorted even before you give birth. But there are so many things that are unwritten and unsaid before you have a baby that when the ghastly does come around, you either think you’re a freak because the book never said so, or curse at the world for not having told you (though if I had a rand for every time someone said “You’ll never sleep well again”, I’d have been able to employ a fulltime night nurse!).

So if I could tell new moms-to-be or new moms what they really need to know so they don’t feel completely freaked out and alone (compactum lists and birth videos aside), the list would look something like this:

-         You might battle with your new identity. You have a new job description, and it’s okay if it’s a challenging transition. No one goes from being a regular employer to a manager with huge responsibilities without difficulty.

-         You might not love motherhood at first. Bear in mind that loving your child and loving motherhood are two different things. You will probably get to love it, but it’s tough, and it’s okay not to want to shout about the joys of motherhood from the rooftops.

-         Your marriage might be challenged. With the hormones, added responsibility, fear, less time together and different ways of doing things, things could be a little tougher. I remember sobbing many times if my husband came home two minutes after he said he would, and shouting every swear word I knew. In hindsight, this was irrational (read: childish), but at the time, it felt like things were falling apart.

-         You might not hang up those maternity pants (or anything elasticised) after you give birth. While you might have dreams of leaving the hospital ala Brooke Shields in designer jeans, your reality is more likely to involve big-waisted pants, along with a large T-shirt to go over your sore, melon-like boobs. Many months later, and I’m still not sure how that extra flap of stomach skin that one develops during pregnancy is supposed to disappear, ever, without the help of a nip or tuck.

-         You’ll probably feel kak for a long time. Between the dark undereye rings, your untouched hair roots, and the still-to-be-shed pregnancy weight, you might feel more D-list than A-list and more slummy mummy than yummy mummy.

-         You’ll be afraid. Very afraid. A lifetime of responsibility? Yikes! It’s very scary.

I wish I could say I had a matching list of how to get over the post-birth woes, but I don’t. What I do know is that it helps to know some stuff is normal, and that other new moms everywhere are wearing their baggies, losing sleep and fighting with their hubbies about whose turn it is to change the poo nappy. But just like a baby’s stubborn wind, it does eventually pass. Seriously.

provided by Matthew Ballenden, dad to Isabella & owner of the Fresh Earth Food Store, an organic health store and vegetarian restaurant with a  great online store.  Visit their website to find out more.

Good nutrition can play a complementary role in a child’s treatment. When a child’s diet is balanced and healthy, his (or her) ADHD symptoms may be a little better controlled. Studies show that children with healthier diets tend to behave and perform better at school. Chances are that these desired effects extend to the home as well.

We suggest parents offer their children a variety of foods from as many food groups as possible at each meal or snack. By doing this, your child is more likely to get a better balance of protein, carbohydrates and fats—all of which the body burns at different rates.

Hunger surges can also create problems. A child who is hungry is apt to have more difficulty maintaining his concentration, frustrate more easily, and can become more irritable. Eating at regular intervals throughout the day helps keep tummies from growling and feeling empty.

Skipping meals and snacks may also produce low blood sugar levels. As a result, children are more likely to be cranky and moody. Foods that are especially high in processed sugars may spike blood sugar levels. Spikes in blood sugar may result in energy bursts and more active behaviors. Soon after the spike, blood sugar levels often fall resulting in sleepy, cranky, moodiness. This is sometimes referred to as the “spike and crash syndrome.”

A small percentage of children with ADHD have sensitivities to certain foods or food additives, such as colourings or preservatives. Eliminating these substances from the diet may improve the ADHD behaviours; however, before indiscriminately eliminating multiple foods, be sure to discuss any dietary changes with a physician and/or nutritionist. If your child eats a fairly good diet but could use some improvement, ask your homeopath about using a multi-vitamin supplement while you work on his/her nutrition.

Whilst it is usually thought of as a condition that affects children, there are also a significant number of adults who continue to show symptoms of ADHD. Diagnosis is usually by a doctor or educational psychologist. Teachers and parents are often the first people to notice symptoms.

ADHD is generally characterized by an inability to pay attention, being hyperactive and acting on impulse without thought for danger or consequences. Other symptoms may include:

Leaving projects or work unfinished

Fidgeting

Inability to sit still

Unable to follow instructions

Being clumsy or accident prone

Not responding to discipline or rules or behaviour

Irritability

Reckless and unpredictable behaviour

The causes are uncertain, but there are likely to be chemical imbalances in the brain. Other contributory factors include diets high in sugar, food additives or stimulants, nutrient deficiencies, cigarette and alcohol exposure, maternal smoking during pregnancy, low birth weight, food intolerances and lack of Essential fats. The following dietary measures may help:

Avoid sugar – cakes, biscuits, sweets, fizzy drinks etc.

Avoid refined carbohydrates – white bread, white rice, white pasta, white flour etc.

Avoid artificial additives – sweeteners, colourings, flavourings, preservatives.

Eat small regular meals and snacks – to keep blood sugar levels stable.

Avoid foods to which you may be intolerant – wheat, dairy, chocolate and additives are common culprits in children. MSG, oranges, soya, peanuts, corn, yeast and eggs are also worth considering.

Include sources of Essential fats in the diet – oily fish, hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, walnuts and avocadoes.

Read other article on the Fresh Earth website

by Sally Shuttleworth , mother of Emily (6yrs) and Elliot (4yrs) highly values the support and advice of other mothers, since her mom died when Emily was 7 months old.  Sally co-owns  a company which manufactures and imports high quality baby/toddler products called Dizzy Dots. Visit their website here

You are not alone if you dread dinner time in your household. This is in addition to the general mayhem of trying to prevent the dog from getting the best bits (he knows just where to sit!), to trying to keep the bowl upright on the table.

Toddlers are meant to be picky eaters! Developmentally, they need less food in year 2 as their growth slows down. Sitting down for a meal requires focused attention that even some adults struggle with. They have woken up to the fact that they can make decisions, and have learned the word “no”.

Use creative tactics, and if you have a child that doesn’t eat very much, then every bite counts. Eating a bag of chips will affect how much he eats of the good stuff. Secondly, giving in to your child when you would rather he had eaten an apple, gives him the message that he can push you each time. So, he just says “no” to every healthy alternative until he finally gets what he wants.

Some ideas:

Dipping: Toddlers love to feed themselves. Put a selection of sauces into little colourful containers and dipping foods (chicken fingers, sausages, roasted butternut, halved tomatoes, eggs etc) and play a dipping game.

2. Drawing pictures: Use a plastic table cloth and allow your toddler to use his yogurt as paint whilst you spoon food into his mouth.

3. Change the environment : Avoid the high chair by taking a toy truck into the garden and get your toddler to drive it to each depot, loading a meatball at each point.

4. Reduce the juice : If you are giving your child juice with his or her meal, then cut it back. In fact, get rid of the sippy, non-spill cups with teats at mealtimes and stick to an open cup. The motion of drinking properly will also help strengthen your child’s jaw for chewing and speech development.

5 Your child won’t starve himself : If you say “no” to the one thing he wants to eat (like ice-cream) & move on to bath time, it won’t take him long to work out that if he doesn’t eat it, he doesn’t get fed.

6. Expect the unexpected : Toddlers need between 1,000 and 1,300 (good) calories a day, but they won’t eat this in evenly spread chunks. Aim for a nutritionally-balanced week, not a balanced day.

7. Offer a nibble tray: Put bit-sized portions of colourful food, such as thinly sliced apple or halved grapes, avocado pieces, carrot swords, cheese building blocks, egg canoes etc. so he can snack regularly. When a toddler doesn’t eat for long periods, it messes up his sugar levels and makes him grumpy, resulting in bad behaviour.

8. Loading: Putting nutritious, familiar favourites on top of new and less-desirable foods like building blocks is a way to broaden what he will eat.

9. Drink it: Blend a smoothie so he gets the nutrients without realizing it.

10 Respect tiny tummies : A young child’s stomach is the the size of his fist. So dole out small portions at first and refill on request.

11. Child-sized tables: Children are likely to sit and eat longer at a child-size table and chair where their feet touch the ground.

12. Let them cook: Children are more likely to eat their own creations, so, when appropriate, let your child help prepare the food.

The most important thing is to RELAX. A healthy and happy attitude towards mealtimes is so important. Take the stress away, and you may be surprised at how easy and fun it all becomes.

By Jayshree Sita, mom to 2 gorgeous, lively kids, Amishka 9yrs and Vishen  5yrs.  She traded the glamorous life of a chartered accountant to become a teacher. She’s also an aspiring writer and artist who is passionate about self-development and keeping her family happy.

I am a stay at home mom with many interests and passions, but my primary focus is to keep my family balanced, happy and healthy. I have a Smartphone which I use all the time, and find very helpful but also very distracting.  I love my calendar (since my husband’s and kid’s diaries are super complicated) and I love the camera – great for taking spontaneous pics  all the time. My kids seem to love the games on it and I can actually get a quick response from my busy corporate husband on the Smartphone messenger when I need it.  I can even update my Facebook whenever I like. So it is a very cool, fun and useful tool for me to have.

So at the beginning, I enjoyed the efficiency and diversity of applications that I had at my disposal 24/7. But then I realised that I was getting hooked into a world that always seemed in a hurry and always took my attention away from the present moment. I may have been watching my daughter’s netball match when an sms popped up. It really could wait, but the beep and the light caught my attention and before I knew it I was frantically typing my reply and missed a netball goal.

Between the e-mail and the sms’s, the actual phone and the Facebook alerts….I kept jumping between scenarios, which was draining my energy and certainly not allowing me to feel the reward of spending time focusing and concentrating on one goal/activity with a single mindedness that leads to excellence and peace and calm.

My kids complain when they want my attention and I’m absorbed in my Smartphone.

I told them it was a monster who had captured me in its long tentacles and they had to wrench me free…they laughed, enjoying the picture in their minds and imagining themselves real heroes who would save their Mummy.

So, are you a target of the Monster?

Read it and decide for yourself….that’s if you can put your Smartphone down for 5 minutes.

The Smartphone Monster

She’s smooth and she’s sleek
Robed in an elegant black dress
And jewelled in dazzling diamonds
She waits, she watches, she sings, she smiles

With hypnotic powers
That dazzle and delight
She draws you into her world
Be it daytime or night
She lures you, tempts you
catches you, grabs you
traps you & squeezes you,

You’re running in her world
your e-mails are climbing
Your messages ‘pinging’
Your calender’s buzzing
Your camera’s rolling
Your music’s pumping
Your facebook’s flashing
Your virtual world is rushing by
Alive and Exciting
But a little bit cold
And a little bit shallow

When she beckons your fingers get curled
Your back gets hunched
And like a lovesick fool
You’re unable to avert your eyes from her gaze

She plays the loyal servant
Who never leaves your side

Yet, bit by byte , she enslaves you
Till the ones you love, the ‘Real’ people
Need to ask her permission to access you

Sad, but true
The Smartphone Monster is out to get you
Can you Escape?

She clings to to your ear
Like a super sucky glue
Is that a new age earring?
Or are you tagged by the Smartphone Goddess
Who sits high up in the Universe
And controls little unsuspecting e-humans
With digital sounds and semi-words
Which have conquered and destroyed  the beauty of the English language
And the simple pleasure of long deep conversations

Of course she’s fun, she’s fabulous, she’s smart, she’s sexy
And you think she’s a super helpful efficient friend
But is she waiting at your fingertips,
Or are you waiting at hers?

by Janine Giannini, mom to two beautiful daughters Michela and Gabriella  and owner of Moments and Memories Photographic Studio. She’s passionate about newborn baby shoots

I remember when both my little girls were born I constantly had a camera out capturing all the moments I could even when they were fast asleep, those beautiful angelic little faces. Even now my camera isn’t far away. They just grow up and change so fast it is scary; I can never have too many photographs to look back on.

I have so many clients and friends asking me for tips on how to take better photographs. Although professional photos can be great, I know as a busy mom it’s not always possible or practical to organize these shoots, besides the spontaneous shots at home and on holiday are special moments you can’t afford to not have pictures of.

Here are some tips so that you can record some of your own beautiful newborn photos in the comfort of your own home.

Find a room with good natural sun light that shines through a large window.

Generally mid morning light would be the best time, offering a soft and rounded light.

Mid afternoon light tends to be too harsh which can also create harsh shadows. Mid morning is usually a good time for mom and baby as well, as  in the late afternoons mom and baby can tend to be tired and a little “niggly” after the days activities.

The room needs to be at an optimal temperature, especially when doing shots without clothes on. Newborns can get cold very easily very quickly, so it is advisable to heat the room before the shoot if necessary. I would suggest the room needs to be at least 25 degrees if not a little more for baby to be comfortable without clothes.

Work around the routine and needs of baby. Feed and settle baby before taking photos.

Have all that you need ready before taking photos, spare wipes, nappy, that special teddy.

Placing baby on his or her special blanket or pretty cushion always makes for a lovely picture.

Make sure the background is uncluttered.

When taking photographs of baby don’t be afraid to try different angles, outfits, or baby lying in different positions. To vary your images try a few of the following:  lay baby in a softly padded basket, on some cushions covered with a soft fluffy blanket, white always works well however soft pink for girls or blue for boys is a nice way to add a little colour. You can also photograph baby on their back and on their tummy. Don’t forget to take close up pics of your little ones hands and feet, they are only this tiny and wrinkled for a short while.

Sometimes I love to get my girls all dressed up and clean to take some pictures, much to their dismay, but I always keep a little camera in my bag…. often the perfect camera moments are when you least expect it.

Happy snapping!

by Tanya Kovarsky mother of baby Max, a magazine editor, and 8-time Comrades Marathon runner. Aside from her family and friends, she considers chai tea, her Blackberry, running shoes, baby jogger, Grey’s Anatomy, Glee and Twitter among the great loves of her life. Follow Tanya on Twitter @TanyaKovarsky

EXPLORE  PLAY – Year One

I have long stopped reading about where my baby “should be” with his milestone developments, so I was a little nervous about watching Explore Play, frightened that the experts would be telling me that my baby would be ruined for life since he wasn’t crawling or feeding himself with a spoon. I needn’t have worried, for on Explore Play, it felt like I had found friends, who encourage humour rather than strict rules when playing with babies, and who give extremely useful advice that any mom, new or experienced, can benefit from.

Explore Play sets out to encourage play and support milestone development, and features the producer Tanya Haffern, along with Ann Richardson (of Baby Sense fame), and Shannon Eggers, a play therapist. The DVD is divided into four sections (0-3 months, 4-6 months, 7-9 months and 10-12 months) and features discussions and play ideas relating to each baby stage. The play section is divided in outdoor, kitchen, water and general, plus there are safety tips, and a helpful ingredients list (ie what you need for each game). Before each game, we are also told which skills are developed (eg physical, intellectual, language).

One of the first bits of expert advice is that your baby is an individual with his own strengths, that no two babies develop the same way, and that milestones happen along a natural path of progression. My favourite advice though was that we should relax, take pleasure in our babies, enjoy playtime, and never make it a mission or chore.

There are great discussions and advice around stimulation and overstimulation (echoing Ann’s BabySense philosophy), and how to understand your baby and read their cues. I felt it would have been useful to cross-reference to pictures or real babies while the experts were talking so that the viewer could have visually “got” what they were talking about.

I liked many of the games, and appreciated that most of the materials can probably be found at home. The games are age-appropriate, though I’ve already tried some of the younger games with my baby, and he loved them, while two or three of the games in his category are a little bit too tricky. But as the experts in Explore Play say, if babies aren’t ready or enjoying a game, move on, and try again the following week. Our favourites have been water balloons and syringe squirting in the bath, a play drawer in the kitchen, and flowers in floating water.

I will definitely follow Explore Play Year Two when we’re ready for more fabulous advice, reassurance and play ideas that come with no guilt or big expense!

Click here for  information about Explore Play

BABYNASTICS (3-6 months, 6-9 months, 9-12 months)

With so many baby stimulation classes out there, I often worry that as a working mom, I don’t have the op portunity to participate with my 10-month-old son in them, plus I’m sometimes concerned that maybe he is not reaching his development potential. So I was ecstatic (and relieved of the guilt) when I came across a DVD that offers easy and accessible stimulation exercises at home.

The exercises, formulated in conjunction with a paediatric occupational therapist, are aimed at encouraging brain and body development, and can be followed straight from the TV (think Jane Fonda aerobics for parents and babes!). The three DVDs have exercises and advice for each respective age group (eg learning when to stimulate for 3-6 months, developing skills for sitting, rolling and crawling for 6-9 months, developing gross and fine motor skills for 9-12 months). The DVDs don’t assume that your baby will definitely be at a certain stage, and so exercises are adapted, for example in cases where babies are crawling, and when they’re not.

What I loved is that the exercises are easy to watch and do – they’re gentle and fun, and often done while singing songs or using basic equipment such as different textures, boxes, paper or a stability ball. What’s more, you’ll probably find that you do some of the exercises already, without realising it. The exercises aren’t too overwhelming, but when my baby did get tired or lose interest, I simply stopped and started when he was ready again, as per the suggestion.

Another reason why I liked this DVD series is that there’s “real talk” from mom to baby – no baby talk or cootchie coos. My baby’s childminder has also watched the series and enjoyed it, and it feels like we’re effortlessly adding more stimulation exercises daily. Now if only there was an adult version of the DVD that could help one shed those last few post-preggo kilos!

Click here for more information on Babynastics or to order accessories