With almost 8 years between my two children, it was beginning to feel as though I had been at school forever, so you can imagine my elation when my son passed Matric last year and I left school forever!!

My son had decided many years ago that he wanted to be a chef when he left school.  So, not withstanding the fact that he had never cooked anything other than 2-minute noodles and scrambled eggs, hated washing dishes and didn’t know the meaning of hard work, I filled in the 10 page application form for the Hotel School, signed the 21 page contract, paid the obscene fees, bought the R7000-00 worth of books (I always thought you could buy an entire library for R7000!),  paid for the hideously expensive uniforms (1 x suit and 2 times chef uniforms plus accessories),  bought the set of knives that look as though they came out of a serial killer’s boot (I watch the Crime & Investigation Channel a lot!), and paid for all the other incidentals!  You will notice that the words “bought” and “paid for” feature quite prominently in this paragraph.

Day one eventually arrived!

The first two days were taken up by a Wine Course (At an additional cost of R1200-00), and I am proud to say that I am now very knowledgeable when it comes to useless wine, port, sherry, brandy and sparkling wine facts. (If all else fails, I think I am fully equipped to apply for a job as a Sommelier)”

The second two days were dedicated to a Level 1 First Aid Course.  Apparently, by law, you have to do at least Level 1 before you are permitted to work in a hotel kitchen. My son is not a light boy and after spending two days on his knees practicing CPR on a dummy, he was almost crippled.  After taking truckloads of Voltaren and Myprodol, he was finally able to walk again (but only just!!).

Ryan is doing the 3 yr Diploma in Professional Cookery and Kitchen Management, which is divided into academic and practical sections, on a block release basis.  Ryan has been allocated to do part of the practical section first, and has been assigned to a 5-Star Rosebank Hotel.

Horror of horrors!  He is currently doing the 6:00 am (as in getting up in the middle of the night) – 2:00 pm shift.  As you can imagine, after doing this for almost 3 weeks, we are all floating around like Zombies!  But, despite the fact that Ryan has almost cut his finger off twice, and he finally knows the meaning of HARD work, after being on his feet for 8 hours straight, on a daily basis he is learning what it means to take your place in the “working world” and he is actually enjoying his course and savouring the experience of learning something new every day!

Me?  I am spending hours boiling, bleaching, soaking, washing and scrubbing an entire gourmet menu out of his WHITE chef uniform, on a daily basis, rushing to fetch him at 2-00pm, helping my hubby out with the morning lifts (I didn’t know it was possible to “sleep drive”) and fervently hoping that he will get his driver’s license soon and I will, at the very least, be served a Cordon Bleu meal, in the very near future!

By Laura-kim

My children have been attending a small private school in my area. It is no where near the level of a Crawford or St Stithians so while I got excellent education I wasn’t paying exorbitant fees.

We were all happy.

But then Kiara headed for Gr 1 and the jump in fees simply was not manageable for me. It would mean that I would be spending a huge portion of my salary on school fees leaving nothing left for anything else.

So I moved them to a public school, with the intention of then saving money, enabling us to start moving forward on our journey to financial independence. HA! Well it has not worked out like that at all.

Last year November I registered them at the said public school and had to pay R5000 to guarantee them a place (I paid R1600 for registration at the private school per child). Then I received the list of stationery and headed off to the shops! HA! What a mission. The lists state clearly that we must buy the names specified, which is great – if only you can find the names specified. So 6 shops later I decided to throw caution to the wind and I bought the products I could find. In total all the stationery and toiletries I had to buy cost me around R1800.

Then came the best part- the school uniforms of this public school. The girls wear dresses, very pretty little dresses that cost R235 a pop! I couldn’t only buy one and even two is stretching things. I work. I don’t have time to wash and dry uniforms every day. Her shoes were R179 (shoes which I think are already too small, two weeks into the term). The tracksuit was over R500. The golf shirt for her sports activities is R117 for one. she has a sport on 4 days of the week – so again, one is not enough. Her costume cost R170 plus she needed a navy blue towel (Are you adding this all up?)

Cameron fortunately still fitted into his gray shorts and shoes from last year, but I will need to buy new ones next term. But his plain blue school shirt was R75 (it’s PLAIN BLUE). He also needs a sport shirt – at R119 (prices increase as the sizes do) and soccer socks (for cricket also) at R45 for one pair (clearly it costs huge money to put a blue stripe on a sock). His tracksuit was also R500 but I ran out of money so he has the bottom (R300) and a jersey (R39.99 at Pep) – I will get the top for winter. His costume was R100 plus the blue towel.

Let’s not forget the school bags, the lunch boxes, juice bottles – totally R300.

In case all those numbers confused you let me tell you – since November last year I have spent R11 000 on school stuff for my children at a public school. And it is a happy day for me when they come home and don’t ask for something more – these days have been few and far between since school opened two weeks ago.

Now I don’t earn a huge salary but I earn a lot more than most people who are sending there kids to this school – HOW do they manage? How do they find R11 000? I used all my savings, asked their dad for money and borrowed from my mom to be able to afford it.

I am all for uniforms – really I am. But do we need R235 dresses? I don’t buy dresses that cost that much. Do we really need golf shirts for R117? Do the gray socks really need that blue line through them? I honestly don’t think so. The school has major issues with children wearing the correct uniform and I can now see why. Change the uniform and I guarantee everyone will be uniform tomorrow. To me its better having everyone in plain colours than having half the school wearing one thing and the other half another!

My kids have now had to get used to eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because I cant afford more than that right now – I am busy repaying my mom and trying to save for next year!

By Gina Jacobson,

Aaron is finally going to play school, he starts on Monday 25th January.  I am nervous and excited for him.

We keep mentioning that he is going to school and what a big boy he is.  We tell him that he is going to draw and paint and play on the jungle gym and read stories and play with the other children and make things for mommy and daddy.

I think he is excited to do these things even though he doesn’t really know what we are talking about.

The other big change we are going to have this year is moving into a big boy bed.  Aaron is literally, a big boy, he is very tall and he is rapidly out growing the cot.  My question is, how do we transition him to the bed?

Again, we mention to him that he is going to have a big bed like mommy and daddy.  But does he really understand?  Also, Im worried about him not staying in his bed.  How do we get him to stay there, even if he wakes up?  I would rather he calls us and we go to him than he come to us.

The other question is, should we wait until he is settled at play school or make the move at the same time?  I don’t want to overwhelm the poor kid.

How did you handle these amazing milestones in your child’s life?

By Nomathemba Nkomo , is mother to 2 well behaved,beautiful children.She is passionate about raising loving,happy,intelligent and well behaved children in our country. She is also the principal of Kiddies Cave Pre- School in Kew.

 At Kiddies Cave Pre-school for toddlers and kids up to the age 6 yrs, we pride ourselves on giving  children an excellent foundation for private and public schools. All our teachers and caregivers are experienced and qualified. We also offer activities  such as  ballet, karate and computer lessons.

We currently have vacancies for 2 qualified nursery school teachers who can work 3 hours daily, to start in the new year.

 The love of kids plus a good command of English are essential requirements.

Applicants must please supply us with your name, email address, contact numbers – landline and cell phone and we will be in touch.

In deciding when they get to stay home I think each parent differs. I am relatively relaxed about it in that I do let them miss an occasional day of school. When would I let them skip? The obvious is if they feel ill,  less obvious would be when something fun or interesting is happening or on those days when they really, really don’t want to go (which is not often) – they are after all only in preschool at this stage and I see no reason to already make school going a forced chore rather than a fun choice.  I will admit that some days I insist they go to school as I know once they are there they have fun. It  is just the drop and release that is an issue (I hate days like that).  We will re-evaluate this approach when formal schooling starts but I think I will still be occasionally flexible on this.  I have never regarded a perfect attendance record as being the ultimate. I see little value in it as I don’t think it shapes the child as a more responsible individual and children can also learn valuable lessons out of the school setting.

 I am a stay at home mom so that I can be there for them when they need me, and they come home every afternoon. I would however never (unless I had no other option) home school. The idea gets me all panicky. My children and I need a little time apart in order to keep on loving each other haha. I need the space to get my things done in the mornings and they need time with friends, activity, running, playing, imagination games  things that I as an adult can’t (and yes no longer want to) provide.

 There is always discussion about when to keep a child home when they are sick, what qualifies as being sick etc. For me if they appear sick, are in pain, their normal nature is affected, they are running a temperature I keep them home for as long as I feel is required. If they have a runny nose or an irritating cough I don’t as both of these could last weeks on end.

 This week past I had 2 extra children, they are homeschooled, so when we originally organized for them to stay with me while their mom is away, I thought I will just keep my own 2 home to play with them (both sets and 2.5 and 5 years). 

When the time came though I decided to rather only let mine stay home occasionally. They get on better when they have some time apart, I need to maintain sanity. It  is the week before my son’s school concert for which they are practicing and my daughter’s little school going routine, which is usually very looked forward to, can at times get upset, and then trying to get her to go to school is like pulling teeth without aneasthetic. She loves it once she is there but if she has missed 2 or 3 successive days when sick, the drop and release can be difficult – a full week away from school and she might think she has graduated and never has to return.

The first day they arrived it was early before school started so my kids stayed home – worked well they played nicely had fun and no issues all day long (Mom 1 / Kids).

Day 2 mine went to school and afterwards they all played, lovely (Mom 2 / Kids).

Day 3 Mine stayed home to play … bad decision I can’t take back, they were horrors together lol – the bigger ones fought all day about the most trifling things, and the smaller ones caused chaos wherever they could – they threw all the washing (piles) waiting for ironing on the floor, threw everything out of cupboards in the rooms, unpacked the product shelves in my work area (Earth Babies), painted themselves blue – or at least mine did (Mom clinging on to her rocker and back to 0 / Kids counter broke trying to keep track).

Day 4 as you guessed they went to school – it was a good day (Mom 1 / Kids).

Week end Day 5&6 went relatively well some fighting but not bad. (Mom 2 / Kids 2)

Day 7 mine are going to school, then get to play together for the afternoon before their friends go home as their mom gets back today.

 In summary for me personally there is a balance, it is sometimes about what is best for them and sometimes about what is best for me

Barrie Bramley is a father, a husband and an eager student in the art of loving life. He  spends most of his working moments involved in exploring a changing workplace and a changing worker with TomorrowToday. You can contact him by visiting his family blog at www.bramley.co.za

Children born today will retire in around 2070. We don’t know what the world will look like in 5 years time. What future are we educating our children for?

A paraphrase of the introduction to Sir Ken Robinson’s TED talk, ‘Do schools kill creativity?’. If you haven’t watched it, and you’re interested in education (who isn’t) then take the 20 minutes to watch it, and the bandwidth to download it. You can find it at http://bit.ly/MgdFM (or go to www.ted.com and search for it).

The world is changing so quickly, driven largely by technology and we  don’t have a clear view yet of what we’re heading for?

The shift needed in education is massive. The responsibility for this shift  lies with educators and parents alike. As parents we often look backwards for solutions . So often I am involved in conversations with fellow parents where they start their thoughts off with, “When I was at school we….”. In business we know that the solutions don’t come from our past. They will be found by looking forward and thinking sidewards. It’s no different for schools and education. As parents we need to let go of ‘the good old days’ and join educators in finding relevant ways to prepare our children for THEIR future.

Let me offer up a very simple, even silly, example to make my point. RESPECT.

Respect is one of those generational issues that plays itself out in all forms of society daily. For older generations respect is positional. If you’re a doctor, minister, teacher, bank manager, etc, older generations will give you 100% respect based on your title alone. They don’t know you, don’t know how you got there, but based on title they’ll start you off on 100%. Of course over time, this number will correct and get lower (nobody is perfect)

Today’s younger people take a very different view of respect. It’s relational. No matter your title, when they meet you they start you off on 0% respect, based on the fact that they don’t know you, and they don’t know how you got that title. Over time this number increases (nobody is undeserving of respect). This number ends up in the same place as the older generations view of you.

One can easily understand why younger people have this value around respect. They’ve grown up in a world where they’ve been exposed to many people who have held important positions (and titles) and have exploited and abused those positions. In every sector. Government, medicine, religion, education, family, etc, etc. In their world, position and title cannot be trusted from the start. So in order to respect you, they must get to know you.

This is one of the explanations for the rise of informality in the work place. There are very few business environments you find yourself in where the traditional titles that denoted respect are still used. Gone are the ‘Mr and Mrs’, the ‘Mam and Sir’ and even the ‘Dr and Reverend’ as a way of greeting and in turn showing respect. We’re on a first name basis largely, and even nicknames in places they were never tolerated before. Formality is out, and informality is in.

Why do schools insist on this archaic and irrelevant style of communication? Surely they can’t still believe that it somehow assists with respect? My children speak to all my friends using their first names (and even nicknames) and I don’t see any sign of disrespect? They use the first name of our doctor and our minister, and I’ve not seen any sign of disrespect. They’re certainly not assisting my children to adapt to the business world of the future. In that world they will go from ‘Mr and Mrs’ to a first name basis immediately. Surely teachers understand that today’s young people view respect in a completely different way, and that simply standing in front of the class and announcing that you have the title ‘teacher’ and they will therefore address them as ‘Mr or Mrs’ isn’t going to mean anything in terms of respect? In nursery school all the teachers (in 4 different schools my children have attended) were on a first name basis and again I saw no sign of disrespect. Could it be a ‘big school’ paradigm that’s at play?

This possibly is a small and silly area for me to highlight. But take this thinking and apply it to other areas of our schools. Have a look at the curriculum our education system has designed. Examine the rules by which our children spend most of each day. Watch Sir Ken Robinson. Identify the areas where we as parents are obstacles to frustrated educators who’s hands are tied because we pay the bills. Challenge the educators in spaces they’re stuck in. Do a little thinking and imagine the next 70 years, then get involved in some long term planning and conversation.

It is not our future. It belongs to our children. They will inhabit it and need to survive and thrive in it. We should be doing everything we can to prepare them for it.

, single mom, recently divorced with 2 kids and the author of the blog Harrased mom

When your child starts Gr 1 it’s a big deal. Actually it’s a huge deal.

It’s the end of an era. Your child is starting their 12 year school career. It’s the start of homework and school camps and tuck shop and projects.

I don’t remember projects in Gr 1. In fact I don’t remember them until like Gr 6 actually. So it was with great shock and horror that I opened my son’s homework book and saw the letter saying “PROJECT”! My mind immediately thought of something simple like “bake a cake” or find a nest! OH NO!

The project was BUILD A SHOE!

WHAT? The child is 7 and been in school for like 6 months. How the hell was he supposed to build a shoe? I am 31 and I have no idea how to build a shoe!

But what do you do? Your child needs to make a shoe, so make a shoe we must! And we did. With a little help from our friends. We made the shoe.

He was dead chuffed with it which really is all that matters. I will admit, I did at times, lots of times, have to stop myself from taking over. I forgot that he is only 7 and isn’t going to get it like I think it should be. While painting I kept taking the brush to make it “neater” but then realized it’s HIS project. HIS shoe. HE has to do it.

I have to say though; I am filled with fear for what the next project is going to be. Where do you go from building a shoe? I have no doubt that I will be letting you all know!

As the mom of 4 year old Luke, I find myself having to make one of the most important decisions yet.  As a mom, I want to find the right school for my son.  This is where he will make friends, learn about life, have fun and interact with kids from all walks of life. Now that I have to start the journey, where do I begin?  I have done research about a lot of schools online, but none of them give a clear indication of what it is really like.

Not many of our friends have kids older than 5 and every parent you talk to has a different opinion.  I find it funny that even friends without kids have strong opinions about the different schools.

Do you choose a private school or are government schools ok?  My concern with government schools are the class sizes.

Can anyone offer some advice?  We are based in Northcliff.

by Laura-kim from Harrassed Mom

When my kids were in pre-school – life was pretty simple! They did their extra activities during school hours.There were no weekend activities except for the occasional party.

Then we hit Grade one and all that changed!

Most of my son’s activities are done during after care. But the weekend sports have now started. And he is adamant he wants to do Bulletjies rugby now too which is on a Monday at 16h30 – which falls outside of aftercare and is at a different venue.

We have spent four hours at chess and have a 4 hour stint at soccer coming up.

Now the challenge lies in the fact that I am one parent and have two children.

I had no idea what to expect at the chess so took Kiara along but it was unfair to expect her to sit there for that long. But what do you do? I can’t leave Cameron there – he is still too small and it was the first one so we didn’t really know how it all worked! Same thing with the soccer. I can’t just leave him there but have no one to watch Kiara. So she has to come with.

Fortunately, this year she is still in pre-school so I am not juggling 2 kids schedules but next year is going to be fun when they are both doing different activities. I have support in my friends and family but I can’t be palming kids off every weekend – it’s not fair on anyone!

So what do I do? Hope that they manage to clone people in the next 6 months? It’s a constant juggling act. Trying to get it all done and keep everyone happy and get everyone where they are supposed to be on time. And some days it is not easy doing it all on my own.

Then there are the school activities that never coincide. This Friday is dress up for Cameron, next Thursday is baking day for Kiara. Cameron needs money on Wednesday for cake and candy. Kiara needs tuck money on Friday. Parents evening for Cameron at 16h15 on Tues and 17h00 for Kiara on Wednesday.

It never ends. Someone asked me the other day how organised am I. I smiled and thought “dude you have no idea just how organised I am”.