Tweeting parents beware!
by Tanya Kovarsky, the editor of Living & Loving magazine, mom to Max, and a fan of running, baking, reading and iPads. Find her on Twitter (@TanyaKovarsky) or her blog.
For every word, comment, tweet, blog post and Facebook status I put out there, I consider that my son, who is only 20 months old and cannot say internet let alone type the word, could and might one day read what I’ve written. I’ve been tempted to swear a lot and slag people off, and complain and be rude on the internet. But then I ask myself if I’d be proud for my child to one day read what I’ve written, and that is the ultimate deciding factor before I hit the “send” button. And I don’t always get it right. A certain tweet of mine once got me in the bird poo, and it was a lesson that came with some tears but a resolution that I’d try not to do it again.
I sometimes watch bemused and shocked how moms slag off their partners, their kids, their teachers and their lives. I appreciate and love the fact that the web gives us freedom and a voice, but I think as parents we need to be cautious and set a fairly decent example. I don’t want my child to think it’s okay to be malicious, impatient, intolerant and unable to confront people face to face, which is why I’ll do my best not to act like that not only in front of him, but through what I put out on the web. And you might argue that by the time my son can read, the tweets and Facebook comments will be long deleted into cyberspace, but I believe we leave big imprints on the way, and I’d rather err on the side of cyber caution (or neurosis, if you will). Either way, it’s a good exercise in guarding my tongue (or my finger), and remembering that good manners do start at home and from my work laptop, Macbook, iPad and iPhone.
Cybermoms thrive
by Tanya Kovarsky, the editor of Living & Loving magazine, mom to Max, and a fan of running, baking, reading and iPads. Find her on Twitter (@TanyaKovarsky) or her blog.
Last week, I had brunch with a group of moms I met through a website forum. Tomorrow, I have playdate with a mom I met on Twitter and through our blogs, and I’m trying to arrange – via email on Smartphones – drinks with another mom I connected with through my magazine’s website forum. I considered these moms “friends” before even meeting them, and with them, there are dozens more, connecting, consoling and chatting with me digitally, whether it’s through blogging, Facebooking, Tweeting or posting on forums.
My digital connections with other moms have helped me through sleepless nights, have enabled me to find great costume shops in Joburg, and have made me feel “normal” with my imperfections as a mother. For example, the other night, after a trying wake-up at 2am with a crying teething baby, I Tweeted that I was awake and had a miserable baby. Five minutes later, I had not only received Tweets of compassion, but had found another mom whose baby was going through the same thing. In that moment, my “problem” was halved, my heart warmed, and I’d found a new “friend”.
From my online friends and reading their blogs, Tweets and posts, I’ve learnt that I’m not the only one who wants to go to the loo alone, and I’m not the sole mom who occasionally gives her kid cereal and yoghurt for supper because it’s easiest, or wishes that she could go back to the pre-children days for a few hours just for that Sunday-afternoon nap.
Digital connections are making motherhood easier and less lonely. It’s allowing us to vent about our challenges, to ask for a the best tried-and-tested nappy rash remedies, to moan about loss of sleep, and to find comfort from those who just “get it”, without judgement most of the time. No one said motherhood was easy, but my iPad, Blackberry and laptop are facilitating my journey, thanks to the friends, listeners and supporters “inside.
