Posts Tagged ‘family christmas’

by Barrie Bramley , a father, a husband and an eager student in the art of loving life. His passion is to create and see the world differently. From time to time he writes for ‘‘Jozikids’. Visit Barrie on his  web or twitter page.

I can feel it coming in the air,
decorations everywhere,
little children start to smile,
it wont be long, just a little while.

Let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter who you are, or what your philosophies might be, when Christmas starts making it’s entrance, all of us, every last one, begins to feel a flutter somewhere deep down in our tummies. And yes, Christmas is over-the-top commercial, and we probably don’t really understand it’s origins, and it is all make believe. But those are exactly the three elements needed to create tummy fluttering stuff. Money, Mystery and a monster dose of Imagination.

In our home we have 2 believers and 2 non-believers. Let me explain. Last Christmas, Jordan (our 9 year old daughter), worked it all out. I don’t know exactly what it was, but when a 9 year old corners you with the ‘is it all really true?’ you have to come clean. Fudging it is simply not an option. I’ve watched too many other parents crash and burn, spectacularly, in an attempt to keep it all alive for ‘just one more year’. Cognitively everything is starting to fall into place when you turn 9 years old, and the mystery and imagination are being challenged. Of course nobody ever challenges the money. I’ve never heard anyone, no matter how cynical, say anything like, ‘I don’t believe in this gumpf, so please don’t give me a present this year.’ Not gonna happen. Ever!

My wife, Leisha, is also over the mystery and imagination, and she’s almost as convinced as Jordan that Father Christmas is not the real deal.

And then there’s Carli (our 6 year old) and me. We’re the believers. Since these two beautiful little girls joined our family, I’ve found myself slipping back into the mystery and imagination. Last year I think I might have even seen Santa, Rudolph, Prancer and the gang fly over the Drakensberg. I can’t say for sure, and I don’t have any photographic evidence, but somewhere deep down inside I just knew. Like Wendy knew Peter Pan. That kind of knowing.

My life has been richer for letting go of my ‘smartness’ and embracing some ‘make believe’. If you’re a parent you know there’s nothing more satisfying in the world than escaping with one of your kids into ‘their world’. It’s exciting, because you’ve never been there, and they know it intimately. It’s welcoming, because the king or queen of the land you’re visiting also happens to be the creator of it. It’s satisfying, because you get to do the most amazing things. Things you’d probably never attempt in your world.

Christmas for Carli and I is one massive adventure. Carli begins to enter Christmas-land when the shops kick into tinsel and decoration over-drive. The earlier they start, the earlier Carli enters in. And I can’t help myself. Her energy for a Christmas adventure is infectious.

So where am I going in this short little Christmas meander? It’s this. I often think we’ve missed what Christmas is all about. It’s become one of those happenings in which the fringe and the crazies use it to take pot-shots at each other. Because when you strip it all away and get down to what’s common…..it’s this: Money, Mystery and Imagination.

Christmas is a wonderful opportunity to enter into Christmas-land and to discover all the wonder that exists within. I’ve learned that the young and the old are the true believers. Everyone in between plays along, but they’re still too proud of their discovery that it probably wasn’t all true. But as they get older, if there is still some warm blood flowing through their veins, perhaps it’s a law of life that we begin to re-challenge our thinking and let a little make-believe sneak in?

A wonderful Christmas to you. Make sure you surround yourself with the young and the old. Without them Christmas degenerates into academic debate about who’s smarter than you. But the real magic sits in the imagination and the mystery. Jump in. Boots and all. Get lost. Don’t worry if you do, because if there are any children around, they know Christmas-land intimately. They’ll guide you through. They always do. They always do.

By Sholain Govender-Bateman - an experienced news reporter, magazine editor,  freelancer,  loving wife to Barry,  mum of one beautiful girl, Isobel and someone with a passion for life and everything fun.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year but when Barry, my husband, and I celebrated together for the first time four years ago it took quite a lot of convincing to get him into the Christmas spirit. He’s English South African who had spent his childhood exchanging gifts on Christmas Day and having a casual lunch of cold meats and salads with extended family.

“Is that it?” I remember thinking that first year. It would be my first Christmas ever away from my family(formerly Hindu now Baptist) with all of our traditions – a Christmas Eve braai and swimming, then awoken at the crack of dawn and sitting around the decorated Christmas tree adorned with flashing lights, glittering decorations and overflowing with Christmas gifts lovingly chosen and wrapped. After the flurry of gifts, hugs, thanks, oohs and aahs – everyone sits around the dining room table – still dressed in pjs, and has tea and minced fruit pies. All the church-goers get ready for the morning service and in between, my mum prepares all the traditional side dishes as the turkey roasts. This must include the potato salad, three bean salad, beetroot, gherkins, steamed broccoli, baby carrots, green beans and corn with garlic butter, fresh rolls, honey glazed gammon, roast potatoes, roasted chicken for the non turkey eaters, baby onions covered in bacon(my personal favourite) and of course the turkey roast to perfection and stuffing. Lunch is followed by an afternoon of dozing or admiring gifts, and just old-fashioned family bonding. Boxing Day is usually a seafood feast with curried prawns, crab, savoury rice and salads. Yummy.

So it was with sadness that I contemplated a Christmas that was not too Christmassy with my husband’s family until I realised that I didnt have to miss out on all my favourite traditions! That year I organised a Christmas Eve dinner with all the Govender family Christmas lunch menu items.

Now hubby, who was very against decorations and Christmas trees, helps untangle the Christmas tree lights on December 1st and this year I may try to convince him to play Santa to our one-year daughter, Isobel ! We alternate between in-laws so we get the best of both family traditions and we’ve got our very own Christmas traditions for the three of us – a Christmas Eve turkey dinner complete with crackers and silly paper hats and champagne, early morning gift opening, then visiting family and of course dozing the rest of the day whilst snacking on left over turkey for the rest of the month!

One thing that I do know is that regardless of the food or gifts at Christmas-time, the most special part is seeing your family (even if you have to put up with a few annoying relatives – yes, everyone has at least one), having a good laugh with them and just caring for those close to you.

Contact Sholain Govender-Bateman on +27 72 867 3474 if you have freelance writing, editing or sub-editing that you want done.