Posts Tagged ‘mothers day’

by Genevieve Young, a Life Coach for teens and a Sri Sri Yoga teacher who also runs practical workshops on achieving wellness and centredness in these busy times. Visit her website to find out more.

Us women are truly wonderful creatures.

We are always ready to give to others, whether it be our friends, family, job, parents… Loving and nurturing others is our second nature, and it brings us a lot of joy and happiness.

But what women are not so good at is RECEIVING love, care and help. We say, “Don’t worry I’ll do it” when in actual fact we are exhausted and would love for someone else to do it.

Sound familiar?

For whatever reason, we find it hard to just say, “I need help” or “I can’t today”. Unfortunately the result of always giving out to others and not taking back is that we get more and more drained. We then tend to become angry and resentful towards those we love the most. Doesn’t really seem fair right?

The truth is that the people in your life would love to help and care for you, but just don’t how (because you’ve never told them!)

This Mother’s Day is a great opportunity to allow your loved ones to spoil you and learn a little more about how they can support you more often.

Here are some ideas:
1. Allow your husband or partner to do all the arrangements, shopping and planning for the Mother’s Day weekend. You will be tempted to jump in and help or give advice, but RESIST. Just trust your partner to do it and relax. Does it really matter if you don’t have the exact brand of bread you normally have? The rest and peace of mind you get from being looked after will be worth it, I promise.

2. Inform your family that you will be sleeping in on Mother’s Day. Let them know that you would really like some quiet time on that morning please. Tell then who to callthey urgently need something that morning, so they don’t bother you.

3. Call up your girlfriends and watch your favourite tearjerker. If your friends can’t come to you for the movie, plan the event at one of their houses. Just being yourself with your friends is food for the soul.

4. Let someone else cook and clean up. I know they are probably not going to cook what you had in mind, and perhaps not as well as you would have, but it’s ok. Your family is not going to starve and who knows, maybe you’ll discover a fabulous cook in your midst? Again, just relax and let it happen, no back-seat cooking please. That just defeats the whole relaxing part of it. If you still can’t let go, then get out of the house until the food is cooked.

5. Engage in your favourite creative activity or hobby. You’ve probably been putting this off, so get out your painting, sewing, scrapbooking, mosaic etc. Whichever activity that gets your creative juices flowing.

Here’s to you letting go this Mother’s Day and being spoilt!

Enjoy it, you deserve it !

by Sally Cameron, midwife, mother of 2 and co-owner of earthbabies . I am passionate, creative, trying to be Green unschooling single mom. It’s a journey

Being a mother is a life changing role that nothing can prepare you for, no matter how much you read, or plan, or try to get mentally ready for.

Perhaps the biggest part that we are ill prepared for, more than the sleepless nights and the change in routine, is two emotions that no one really talks about; guilt and doubt.

It does not matter how competent you were at any job, or the high powered position you may have held, or how confident you were, parenting is a job where the stakes are higher than anything you will ever have done before, or will do again, and the worst part, is that there is no manual. Sure  there are plenty of how to books, with all sorts of ideas, but the small people we get, are each individual, unique and different to any other child, so any manual is at best a guess, and may not suit you or your child’s temperament.

The best option you have, is to find what seems to work for you and your child or what you believe is right. Then you land up defending this method to all others because the outcome is so important. You can’t be wrong because then your child’s future is at stake. And while you will defend what you do, to the death, the doubt will gnaw at you in the quiet moments –“ have I really got it right?” If you are right then they should turn out okay, and if not then others will look at you and shake their heads and say; you were too strict or too lenient, too permissive or too dominant, you crushed their spirits or you let them run wild, you worked or you stayed at home.

I do not think we all need to parent in the same way but we need to acknowledge  that at best we are all guessing and trying to get it right. Maybe if we defend less and share our insecurities more we may be able to learn more from each other and grow as parents, rather than tear each other apart by defending what we do, tooth and nail.

This Mothers Day, add a healthy dose of ‘cutting-yourself-some-slack’ and go out and enjoy the things that make this job, no matter the difficulties, one of the best and most rewarding things you will ever do. Shelve the guilt, ignore the doubt and revel in the joy, those pesky emotions will be there waiting for you again on Monday…

Happy Mother’s Day.

by  Siyabulela Sekeleni, born and bred in the Eastern Cape, rural boy through and through. Well adjusted, very adaptable, loves music and animals. Radiohead groupie. Find him on twitter @siyabulelas

My mother, born on Christmas eve 1953. Parents: Robert and Persis Cakata. Superwoman some might call her. I know that I certainly would. She’s a woman I love and respect deeply. Here’s a long overdue letter with love from a regular ‘dude’, to my Xhosa African Queen Mother:

Dear Mama (Zalisa Sekeleni),
“Can’t” – a word that I have never heard you say. “You live and learn”? Yes, those are also your words.

I know a lot of wonderful mothers, none that could manage two jobs, day and night the way you have and continue to do, as a radiographer by day and a doctor’s assistant after hours.

Among your awesome feats is giving birth to and raising 6 strong grown-up young individuals, Bongani, Thandile, Siyabulela (myself), Bukiwe, Banele, and Loyiso Sekeleni;

I know I was really unruly, breaking stuff, losing house keys, that you nearly had a heart attack the day I stuck a live electric wire in my mouth when I was 5 years old.

Then when I was about 10 years old, we lived in a small village (your home) in Centane on the Transkei coast where you worked at a hospital close by. We had to fetch water from the river and wood from the forest to make a fire.

When I had a child out of wedlock you weren’t pleased, I know this  because all you said was “uqale ngeyokugqibela” (meaning:  you jumped to last step).  You still supported me all the way even though you had hoped I would know better, as my sister was already an example. That’s the only time I felt I disappointed you.

When my daughter was born you travelled all the way to Johannesburg to make amends with their family. Since then you’ve visited my daughter a couple of times and are always a call away if I need you. You’re even prepared to take time off work to help me..

When we disagree, you know just how to let me know that you think I am talking drivel. The rules are clear. You listen, you consider, and you make a decision. No two ways about it

I live alone now, and I’m proud to say that my place reflects the lessons you have taught me: cleanliness, warmth, a spirit of content. I’ve also learnt compassion and compromise (though of course some might not agree. LOL!).

Happy Mother’s Day Mamtipha!

One more thing before I’m out: If it’s true what they say about every man looking for the reflection of his mother in a partner, then I must say, jokingly of course (don’t run away now ladies the women out there might not stand a chance.

P.S. Am sure my mama wonders when I am getting married though!!

by Rachel Edelstein who is  9 years old  in Grade 4 at King David Victory Park. She loves drama and dancing and plays the violin and piano.

I think My Mom is probably the coolest Mom on earth!

She is funny, cuddly, caring, the ultimate businesswomen, strange and a million things more.  Whether you’re happy, laughing, feeling blue or any other emotion my Mom is the best.

She’s not just my mom but my best friend too. No matter where we are in the world we’ll always end up canning ourselves laughing.So much of my life is laughing with my Mom.

My Mom teaches me valuable life lessons and how to be a successful businesswoman too. I always say to her it’s so weird seeing you doing conferences for lots of people and then looking at you another time and seeing just my Mommy.  Then again it makes me feel so proud! I hope when I am her age I will be just like her! 

She has taught me how to do public speaking without being shy, how to make lots of little creative things and how to have a love of music and writing. Once my Mom even took me with her to the SABC and I ended up having my own radio interview.

When I was younger I always used to think: how adults have so many more days to celebrate eg.( birthdays, anniversaries, Mothers day and Fathers day.) while we (kids) only get birthdays! But then I think again and say to myself  it’s because they work so hard cooking for us, taking us to friends, extra murals and more. So G-d decided to give Moms a break and to me that’s why we celebrate Mothers’ day. I love you Mommy and Happy Mothers day or as I like to call it Mommy’s Day

<3 <3 <3

I <3 U!

Before Kerry Haggard was a mom or a wife, she was a daughter. In honour of Mother’s Day, and her awesome mom, Kerry is blogging as a JoziKid this time round, rather than as a Jozi mom. You can find Kerry on Twitter or on her blog, Energy (In)Efficient.

My mom was a teacher, and she was one of those teachers that EVERYONE remembers. Some of them remembered her because she was determined to stay in control of her class, but most of them I suspect remembered her because she was a damn good teacher. I used to sit in her class after nursery school, and then I joined her school in Grade 1, for the rest of my primary school career. That combination stuck me with the label of ‘Mrs Johnson’s daughter’ for much longer than I would realise.

When I went to high school, and was dealing with the inelegance of Standard Six initiation, I had matrics asking me if I was Mrs Johnson’s daughter. It happened at university too – and when I moved to London for 18 months, it happened on tube station platforms, at a concert, and even at a braai at the neighbour’s house.

THAT’s how far my mother’s influence as a teacher reached. And I used to hate it, that I wasn’t Kerry, rather, I was Mrs Johnson’s daughter.

But you know what? Now that I have a little more wisdom and a lot more appreciation for what it takes to be a mother and a teacher, I couldn’t be more proud to be Mrs Johnson’s daughter.

There were times when I really was a horrible teenager, and even into my 20s, I made some really stupid mistakes and I spent too much time with some really wrong people. But she supported me through all that, confident that she had given me the tools to figure stuff out for myself. She stood her ground when I was being completely unreasonable, standing strong through my tears and one memorable (or forgettable!) night when I think she and my dad locked me in the house to stop me tearing out to visit my prove-my-point boyfriend. And when I felt that I had to persist in something really silly, she stood by and let me figure stuff out for myself. And I’ve never once heard her say “I told you so” when she turned out to be right. Which was most of the time. Well, all the time.

My mom is in her late 60s now, and lives in a lovely cottage in a retirement village, 10 minutes away from us. She has the most beautiful garden that I suspect would win a gardening competition hands-down. She adores my sons, and I know that they adore her. She plays the organ in her church every Sunday, and is very active in the church community. She supports my family and me in so many ways that I couldn’t possibly list them all here, and is available at the drop of a hat whenever we need her. She is strong and independent, and is never afraid to try new things. She has a wicked sense of humour, and a vibrant group of friends.

I love my mom, so much, and I must tell you, I am PROUD to be Mrs Johnson’s daughter.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

by Laura Allmayer,   co-founder of Journey2Joy, mom to two little people, compulsive blogger and twitter addict. When she’s not blogging  she’s planning baby showers and helping moms prepare for their new babies.

“Being a mother is NOT about being a martyr and giving up everything that makes you happy. It is NOT about sacrificing your own identity to that of your children. It is NOT about being oppressed and unhappy”
from Sleepless Night by  Veronica Foale

This statement, for me, is one of the most profound statements I have read on motherhood. It is also one that few mothers understand.

I recently joined a group of moms mainly to try and build up a new network of people. But within a week of trying to participate I actually couldn’t do it anymore. It is also the same reason I left a parenting forum I was part of.

I am a mother and as a mother my children do come first but not at the expense of who I am as a person.

I personally do not see the value in the breastfeeding vs. bottle and Caesar vs. natural debates that ultimately end in harsh words and unfair judgment! I had two Caesars and did not enjoy breastfeeding at all so did it for a very short time and not exclusively! SO WHAT? How does that affect anyone else’s child? I made the decision and I will deal with any consequences of it! If and when a new mom asks for my opinion I will give them just that – my opinion of what worked well for me and my children.

My opinion is not gospel. It’s not necessarily right nor is it what I expect you to do. I rarely justify my decisions but I do find that when I am around other mothers I often feel I should justify why my kids eat cake for breakfast and both still have a sports bottle at night! It annoys me no end.

Parenting is scary and even if you follow the crowd there is a strong chance you will still get it wrong. There is nothing like a screaming newborn or a tantruming toddler to bring a grown person to their knees in a ball of insecure misery! If you have a child you have been there! So why not trust yourself and follow your instinct and to hell with everyone else.

When 2 or more mothers find themselves in a space together its like they loose all sense of self and turn into competitive freaks who think by giving up their happiness they are ensuring their kids happiness. This is in fact the exact opposite.

A friend of mine tells me often that the only way kids learn is through what they see. If a child sees its parents functioning as whole people, having interests and hobbies and activities outside of them – they will learn to balance their lives. When a child sees their parents devoting time to each other – they will learn to do the same with their partner.

You can not teach a child to be happy – you have to be happy!

So this mothers day be happy! Enjoy your child as they are. Leave the house as it is. Put away your boobs, bottles, flash cards and Baby Whisperer and just laugh a little bit!