Posts Tagged ‘schooling’

By Sholain Govender-Bateman , Pretoria based journalism lecturer who worked at The Star, Pretoria and other news publications. She also edited MyWeek magazine and loveLife magazine. She is mum to two gorgeous girls, Isobel and Aishwari, and wife to Barry.

Isobel will be turning 3 in May. She’s speaking in full sentences, fully potty trained, can hold a pencil and almost paint within the lines of a picture. She can kick a ball, count to ten bar a few missing numbers when she is in a hurry to get to ten, do a forward roll and is a social butterfly. Yet, I’m still in two minds about sending her to pre-school.

My mum says I’m being overprotective, even paranoid, and whilst she may be right, I also believe that my fears are valid. Like most parents, I will do anything to keep my child from harm and ensure that she is happy – is that so wrong?

I’m afraid of Isobel picking up bad habits from other toddlers(is she still a toddler?), being bullied, getting bullied or getting abused in some way. I don’t want her to feel like we’re taking her away from her second mum, her nanny Kate who also looks after my younger daughter, Aishwari(3 months old). What if she is influenced by other adults in a way that I don’t like? Maybe I’m even jealous that other people would then be included in the task of raising my child? What if she feels rejected and regresses with her speech and potty training or becomes introverted?

There are pros, of course – she will make new friends and pick up new skills and words – but she is already exposed to different skills and words everyday through constructive and free play. She has a play gym, trampoline and soccer nets and balls so that she develops her motor skills. And she sings nursery rhymes with actions and dances to almost any music.

So do I send her to school or not? What do you think?

By Angel Swemmer, a  mom to a teenage-almost-adult ADHDer who says that what she writes is purely her opinion on things she feels strongly about, based on my experience as an ADHDer parent. Author of the blog Angelsmind

Make no mistake- I think most teachers are superheroes- but they can make bad calls when it comes to treating ADHDers!  Here’s an example of a mistake a lot of teachers make.

At the end of the last school year, one of the ADHDer moms I “mentor” (lets call her Jane) gave me a call. Jane’s son’s teacher had asked her if she could please return the unused Ritalin that Jane had sent to school.

Jane’s son (lets call him John) takes a Ritalin tablet in the morning and then another one later in the morning, which the teacher had agreed to give to him. All through the year Jane had been asking the teacher if she was giving John his second dose, because there were days when he came home more hyper than usual, and would then battle to get his homework done or get ready for bed and so on. The teacher swore that she was giving him his meds, even though John told his mom that some days she didn’t.  The poor ADHDer almost always gets the short end of the stick  because they have a tendency to tell stories the teacher is usually the one believed!

In this case, come year end, the teacher sent home almost  5 weeks’ worth of Ritalin tablets!

Jane was furious. When she confronted the teacher about all the extra medication, the teacher admitted that there had been days she felt he didn’t need it “that much” and decided not to give it to him.

Jane made an appointment with the school principal to discuss it with him and to ask him to follow up with John’s teachers in future, but it was the end of the school year so not much was going to come of Jane’s measures.

The implications of an ADHDer not having his correct medication dosage is huge- and it doesn’t only affect the school day. John’s teacher had no idea.

In the new school year, Jane was sure to give the teacher more information and explain why John needed his correct and complete dose every day- but the fact remains that South African schools do not have advanced ADHD “care” programs like the IEPs in the USA, and we have to rely on our children’s teachers’ willingness and good will to help in our ADHDers care, rather than be assured that their schools will follow up on a properly formalised plan.

Follow up with your ADHDers’ teachers and with the headmaster and division heads on a regular basis. Provide them with reading material and books as and when you can.

Talk to her every time you take new meds to school and remind her why your ADHDer has meds.

With a class full of children, she will forget!

And good luck to you.

By Laura-kim single mom, recently divorced with 2 kids and the author of the blog Harrased mom.

My children have been attending a small private school in my area. It is no where near the level of a Crawford or St Stithians so while I got excellent education I wasn’t paying exorbitant fees.

We were all happy.

But then Kiara headed for Gr 1 and the jump in fees simply was not manageable for me. It would mean that I would be spending a huge portion of my salary on school fees leaving nothing left for anything else.

So I moved them to a public school, with the intention of then saving money, enabling us to start moving forward on our journey to financial independence. HA! Well it has not worked out like that at all.

Last year November I registered them at the said public school and had to pay R5000 to guarantee them a place (I paid R1600 for registration at the private school per child). Then I received the list of stationery and headed off to the shops! HA! What a mission. The lists state clearly that we must buy the names specified, which is great – if only you can find the names specified. So 6 shops later I decided to throw caution to the wind and I bought the products I could find. In total all the stationery and toiletries I had to buy cost me around R1800.

Then came the best part- the school uniforms of this public school. The girls wear dresses, very pretty little dresses that cost R235 a pop! I couldn’t only buy one and even two is stretching things. I work. I don’t have time to wash and dry uniforms every day. Her shoes were R179 (shoes which I think are already too small, two weeks into the term). The tracksuit was over R500. The golf shirt for her sports activities is R117 for one. she has a sport on 4 days of the week – so again, one is not enough. Her costume cost R170 plus she needed a navy blue towel (Are you adding this all up?)

Cameron fortunately still fitted into his gray shorts and shoes from last year, but I will need to buy new ones next term. But his plain blue school shirt was R75 (it’s PLAIN BLUE). He also needs a sport shirt – at R119 (prices increase as the sizes do) and soccer socks (for cricket also) at R45 for one pair (clearly it costs huge money to put a blue stripe on a sock). His tracksuit was also R500 but I ran out of money so he has the bottom (R300) and a jersey (R39.99 at Pep) – I will get the top for winter. His costume was R100 plus the blue towel.

Let’s not forget the school bags, the lunch boxes, juice bottles – totally R300.

In case all those numbers confused you let me tell you – since November last year I have spent R11 000 on school stuff for my children at a public school. And it is a happy day for me when they come home and don’t ask for something more – these days have been few and far between since school opened two weeks ago.

Now I don’t earn a huge salary but I earn a lot more than most people who are sending there kids to this school – HOW do they manage? How do they find R11 000? I used all my savings, asked their dad for money and borrowed from my mom to be able to afford it.

I am all for uniforms – really I am. But do we need R235 dresses? I don’t buy dresses that cost that much. Do we really need golf shirts for R117? Do the gray socks really need that blue line through them? I honestly don’t think so. The school has major issues with children wearing the correct uniform and I can now see why. Change the uniform and I guarantee everyone will be uniform tomorrow. To me its better having everyone in plain colours than having half the school wearing one thing and the other half another!

My kids have now had to get used to eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because I cant afford more than that right now – I am busy repaying my mom and trying to save for next year!

By Gina Jacobson, a mom, a leo.  She works for a  non-profit organisation, is a procrastinator, loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and scrabble.Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.

Aaron is finally going to play school, he starts on Monday 25th January.  I am nervous and excited for him.

We keep mentioning that he is going to school and what a big boy he is.  We tell him that he is going to draw and paint and play on the jungle gym and read stories and play with the other children and make things for mommy and daddy.

I think he is excited to do these things even though he doesn’t really know what we are talking about.

The other big change we are going to have this year is moving into a big boy bed.  Aaron is literally, a big boy, he is very tall and he is rapidly out growing the cot.  My question is, how do we transition him to the bed?

Again, we mention to him that he is going to have a big bed like mommy and daddy.  But does he really understand?  Also, Im worried about him not staying in his bed.  How do we get him to stay there, even if he wakes up?  I would rather he calls us and we go to him than he come to us.

The other question is, should we wait until he is settled at play school or make the move at the same time?  I don’t want to overwhelm the poor kid.

How did you handle these amazing milestones in your child’s life?

by Barbara Lombard – wife, mother to 2, co-owner of Earth Babies , occasional doula

In deciding when they get to stay home I think each parent differs. I am relatively relaxed about it in that I do let them miss an occasional day of school. When would I let them skip? The obvious is if they feel ill,  less obvious would be when something fun or interesting is happening or on those days when they really, really don’t want to go (which is not often) – they are after all only in preschool at this stage and I see no reason to already make school going a forced chore rather than a fun choice.  I will admit that some days I insist they go to school as I know once they are there they have fun. It  is just the drop and release that is an issue (I hate days like that).  We will re-evaluate this approach when formal schooling starts but I think I will still be occasionally flexible on this.  I have never regarded a perfect attendance record as being the ultimate. I see little value in it as I don’t think it shapes the child as a more responsible individual and children can also learn valuable lessons out of the school setting.

 I am a stay at home mom so that I can be there for them when they need me, and they come home every afternoon. I would however never (unless I had no other option) home school. The idea gets me all panicky. My children and I need a little time apart in order to keep on loving each other haha. I need the space to get my things done in the mornings and they need time with friends, activity, running, playing, imagination games  things that I as an adult can’t (and yes no longer want to) provide.

 There is always discussion about when to keep a child home when they are sick, what qualifies as being sick etc. For me if they appear sick, are in pain, their normal nature is affected, they are running a temperature I keep them home for as long as I feel is required. If they have a runny nose or an irritating cough I don’t as both of these could last weeks on end.

 This week past I had 2 extra children, they are homeschooled, so when we originally organized for them to stay with me while their mom is away, I thought I will just keep my own 2 home to play with them (both sets and 2.5 and 5 years). 

When the time came though I decided to rather only let mine stay home occasionally. They get on better when they have some time apart, I need to maintain sanity. It  is the week before my son’s school concert for which they are practicing and my daughter’s little school going routine, which is usually very looked forward to, can at times get upset, and then trying to get her to go to school is like pulling teeth without aneasthetic. She loves it once she is there but if she has missed 2 or 3 successive days when sick, the drop and release can be difficult – a full week away from school and she might think she has graduated and never has to return.

The first day they arrived it was early before school started so my kids stayed home – worked well they played nicely had fun and no issues all day long (Mom 1 / Kids).

Day 2 mine went to school and afterwards they all played, lovely (Mom 2 / Kids).

Day 3 Mine stayed home to play … bad decision I can’t take back, they were horrors together lol – the bigger ones fought all day about the most trifling things, and the smaller ones caused chaos wherever they could – they threw all the washing (piles) waiting for ironing on the floor, threw everything out of cupboards in the rooms, unpacked the product shelves in my work area (Earth Babies), painted themselves blue – or at least mine did (Mom clinging on to her rocker and back to 0 / Kids counter broke trying to keep track).

Day 4 as you guessed they went to school – it was a good day (Mom 1 / Kids).

Week end Day 5&6 went relatively well some fighting but not bad. (Mom 2 / Kids 2)

Day 7 mine are going to school, then get to play together for the afternoon before their friends go home as their mom gets back today.

 In summary for me personally there is a balance, it is sometimes about what is best for them and sometimes about what is best for me

By Jana Kotze, mom or Luke & Sienna,  digital marketer, entrepeneur-at-heart

As the mom of 4 year old Luke, I find myself having to make one of the most important decisions yet.  As a mom, I want to find the right school for my son.  This is where he will make friends, learn about life, have fun and interact with kids from all walks of life. Now that I have to start the journey, where do I begin?  I have done research about a lot of schools online, but none of them give a clear indication of what it is really like.

Not many of our friends have kids older than 5 and every parent you talk to has a different opinion.  I find it funny that even friends without kids have strong opinions about the different schools.

Do you choose a private school or are government schools ok?  My concern with government schools are the class sizes.

Can anyone offer some advice?  We are based in Northcliff.