Posts Tagged ‘single mom needs support’

by Emma Levine, mother to the two most amazing and beautiful kids in the world.  Everyday with them is  special. You can email her at levine@leonora.co.za.

My husband walked out on me and our 2 year old son, Luca, on the day that our 2nd son, Tiano was born.

I thought that the hardest part about being  divorced was being a single parent. Then after my husband moved to Cape Town to live with his ‘girlfriend’ I realized that not having a father around was far worse. The last time that he saw his two kids was on 21 September (today is 28 October). Even when he was in JHB for 1 and ½ weeks at the beginning of October he did not attempt to see them. He promised to visit his kids every two weeks, but now he is claiming that he has no money.

Before he left, he was seeing the kids three to four times a week. Yet he told everybody that I would not let him see the kids. Even though I let him talk to Luca everyday on the phone, he told everybody I would not let him talk to Luca.

In the beginning the only support came from my parents. All ‘our’ friends dropped me, and even friends that were friends for a while after he left, dropped me. I didn’t want any help from anybody else because I wanted to do everything myself. On 24 July at Luca’s first sports day my ex-husbands brother’s family was there to support Luca. They were really nice to me… They have since been a huge support, together with my ex mom-in-law, much to my ex’s disgust.

Everyday I felt like I was climbing out of a deep hole. Every now and again, I would stumble, but I would pick myself up, wipe the dust off and try again. Luca walks around the house calling ‘pappa’. He talks to ‘pappa’ on his hand as if it were a telephone. When he went to soccer for the first time he ran onto the field shouting ‘pappa, pappa.’ Despite everything that I have been through, this is the most painful thing to experience. The hurt manifests itself physically as a sharp, searing pain in my heart. Sounds like a cliché, but it is very true.

I am struggling to accept the fact that their father is not interested in them. Every time I look into my kids eyes, tears start to well up. I am upset and angry that there will be no father around for father-sons days at school, for soccer, for the first bike ride and for many other amazing experiences. I have started to look around for support groups in my area to talk to other single parents but I am struggling to find any. Most are online, which is great, but I would like to build a local network. Is anybody interested in forming a support group in the Sandton area or knows of a support group in the area.