Posts Tagged ‘tantrums’

by Gina Jacobson, a wife, a mom, a leo.  She works for a  non-profit organisation, is a procrastinator, loves sci-fi, sushi, good books and scrabble.  Her blog is made up of A Bit of This a Bit of That.

T-A-N-T-R-U-M  : Those seven letters are enough to make me drink liquor at 8 in the morning…

I know that most tantrums are caused by frustration, an inability to communicate effectively or hunger and tiredness and that any change to a routine can set one off. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

After a very short midday nap yesterday and an afternoon in the sun playing with other kids, Aaron* threw the BIGGEST tantrum last night. It lasted just over 2 hours and nothing we did helped.

We started by putting him in his cot in his room with the door open and lights on, after about 20 minutes of screaming he started making himself gag and vomit… at that point we removed him from his room as we just didn’t feel like cleaning up a vomitty mess. Paul then tried hugging him tight which is supposed to be calming but only landed up being pinched and hit and scratched. The lovely ladies on Twitter said that perhaps a bath would calm him down as water is soothing. Well a cat dropped in that bath would have been more fun, he screamed, kicked and tried to climb out so we gave that effort up and when he wouldn’t let us dress him put him in his cot nekkid, that lasted all of 15 minutes and then we went back to hugging.

During the tantrum he asked for a bottle so we gave him one only to have the bottle chucked across the room only to have him ask for the bottle again only to chuck it… you get the picture. This was repeated with his towel, the TV remote and a stuffed toy.

Eventually he just ran out of steam and calmed right down. He sat quiet as can be on daddy’s lap drinking his bottle and clutching his towel. Poor baby, he was so exhausted he then proceeded to sleep through the night, something we haven’t quite mastered yet.

*He will be 2 at the beginning of November!

Here’s a video of one of his earlier tantrums produced by my husband, Paul Jacobson on Vimeo.

How old are your kids? Do they throw tantrums? How do you deal with tantrums?

by Kojo Baffoe a man, a father, a son, a brother, a husband, a friend, a poet, a writer on a quest to make sense of this reality, with words. Author of Evoutionary and Being a father.

It felt like any other day. My son had just turned two years old and started pre-school.

The first day of school was difficult for all of us. We spent 30 minutes before leaving him and probably phoned every hour or two on that day. All was well. We later discovered that, within 10 minutes of us leaving, he had stopped crying. Day two, he got into trouble. Threw sand in another child’s face. Sat in the naughty corner. He still throws things at his parents though. Day 3,  actually naps during nap time.  Then we had to keep him home for a week. The usual. Ear infection. Cold. Swine flu scare.

It was his second day back after school after the week off and, as I mentioned before, it felt like any other day. I dropped him off to fewer tears and went about my day. He was now on full days so I picked him up at about 4pm and we headed home. As we drove in the gate, he started grumbling. Wanted the remote to open the gate. We got out of the car and he wanted to stay outside the yard. We got into the yard and he wanted to be ‘ousite’ yet followed me into the house. By now, the grumbling was a fake cry and then it happened….. the screaming. No warning. No nothing. From ‘daddee ousite’ to the kind of scream one hears outside an abattoir. I rush to him thinking he’s hurt himself or something, he pushes me away, lies on the ground kicking his legs and keeps on screaming.

I’m a patient man. Really, I am. I am understanding. When he cries, I try to determine what is wrong. I try to comfort. I try to be a good, loving father. I don’t shout. I talk. I maintained that image for the first 30 minutes. I tried to give him juice. I talked to him. I asked what was wrong. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I put on the telly, but the screams got louder, drowning out the telly. I put on music. He likes music. Loves singing and dancing. The screams weren’t even in tune. I shouted at him. Told him to stop it. Opened the front door and told him to go play outside. The screams echoed through the house and reverberated through the neighbourhood. Eventually, I ignored him. Twenty minutes after having broken the one hour mark, he just stopped. Five minutes after that. Smiling and laughing, telling me stories.

For a week, that became the routine. Every day, after school though, thank the heavens, they only ran for about 30 minutes. Then one day I put him in his room and left him there and the consistent tantrums after school stopped. Now they just come any old time.

I finally discovered why they call them the terrible twos. I have heard all the theories. I have tried some. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. If you have more, please share. All I really have now is the hope that, one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, he’ll stop. Until then, all I’m committed to is maintaining my sanity. I love him, even if he may just drive me mad.